Equal Time with Bob Boudelang
"Let's All Toast Our Great President's Jenius With A Tall Glass of Sewage!!"
March 15, 2002
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

In the interests of fairness and impartiality, we've decided that conservatives should have a voice on this website. So here he is - Bob Boudelang, American Patriot, with this week's rebuttal...

Really, why do LIEberals even bother to get up each day when all they have is their dreary message of tolerance and progress? Why do they not just lay down for the great jugglenut that is George W. Bush and the 90% of Americans who will do whatever he asks no questions asked?

Those are facts and yet Democraps lack the objectivity and intelligence to blindly obey them. Instead we have to hear their niggling (which is not racist so stop saying that) questions and comments.

Worse, they have the nerve to laugh OUT LOUD when Our Great Attorney General John Ashcroft sings "The Eagle Is Sore" or when Our Great President George W. Bush forgets the gestures to Eensy Weensy Spider. They do not think, as a sensible person would, that the great George W. might have more to think about than what "Dried Him Up Again" looks like. He has his Eensy Weensy Judge to complain about, and he had to fight for the Eensy Weensy steel tariff and the Eensy Weensy Mexicans amnesty, not some spider climbing up a rainspout. Eensy Weensy makes my blood boil!!

They also make fun of our Homely Director of Security Ridge and his color system, which everyone can see took months of planning. What if the wrong color was used? It would have been horrible to have a Red Alert that was puce or maroon. Why are they not proud this Administration is now Yellow? I have been shouting it out at the bus station, and people point me out proudly when I do. "This Administration is now Yellow! No maroon!"

But now we see the total failure of Big Government Liberalism in the IRS giving visas to the September 11 hijackers, six months late. Yes, John Ashcroft had it all farmed out to a private company which actually sent out the visas, but that does not mean John Ashcroft or privatization is to blame. Bill Clinton is, which is so obvious I do not have to explain it to you, even though I could. I really could and if you don't know the reason I am not going to tell you. I just ask you this, who is ex-president now?

George W. is going to reform the system, you wait and see, so that a six month delay like this will never happen again and the visas will go out ON time.

Speaking of Slick Willy, what a week of disaster for him, and do not try to pretend it was not. Besides being unmasked pretending to be Deputy Jack in the infamous hat scheme, Johnny Ray unleashed his report showing how he could have been persecuted because there really was evidence, which I guess he forgot to include but was certainly damming as we all know. And Dan Burton released the report showing that Roger Klintoon, who took drugs, got money for pardons that his brother did not give out. I guess you know what that means. I think it is time for another investigation to get to the bottom of this.

But instead of excepting that the Klintoon family are criminals who haven't been arrested or charged with anything yet, and slinking away in shame and disgrace, Demoncrats continue their complaining and activism.

Look at the hippocritical fuss over Our Great President threatening the world with nukes. It is important to let other countries know we might wipe them off the earth if they so much as spit at us, otherwise there would be tyranny and injustice.

George W. Bush is ready to send our troops to fight all the time with anybody for any reason, and he will from now on. That is the only way to have peace. Do you not understand that simple fact? Otherwise we will be terrorized by these tiny little nations. That is why we need a missile shield to protect us all, and tax cuts on rich people so we can pay for it out of Socialist Security and public schools.

That is what Dick Cheney is over there telling our allies in the Middle East, where you cannot prove he is discussing the oil business and so what if he is? We have the nukes and you are with us or against us. They respect that and now they know where we stand and that we are their big tough friend, not just another country like France. That way we will never have to face the nightmare of conservation and the threat of an untapped Arctic wildlife preserve. Amen.

George's soul friend Pudding understands this and that is why he only criticized when he found out Russia is still a target. He knows that ordinary people cannot look into each other's eyes and trust, the way the former head of the KGB and the son of the former head of the CIA can. That is adults in charge, all right.

And while George is ready to fight, he can also make peace if he has to. That is why he sent his special onvoy to the Middle East to start peace talks that are not "shoot the moon" peace talks. Now there has been a one-year cooling off period from Clinton's "shoot the moon" peace talks and both sides are ready to talk, if you don't count the bloodshed and fighting.

If Clinton's "shoot the moon" peace talks had succeeded, perhaps today there would be no reason for George W. to send his onvoy. I think everyone in the Middle East owes Our Great President a vote of thanks for disrupting those talks, back when he was Our Great Governor of Texas. But I know they will never give him what he deserves.

George is used to that, though. Unlike draft-dodger Bill, he is a warrior, and you will notice that the Viet Cong did not invade Texas when he was in the National Guard. Nor Alabama (and George W. doesn't have to prove that the official records are wrong. He was there, allright!). As Tom DeLay says, we might have won if George W had gone to VietNam. Instead Al Gore, Tom Dasshole and Richard Gephardt did, and we tied. Arrest my case!

Yet we hear the moderates and socialist LIEberals wining "Where's Osama? Where's Chic Omar? Where's the anthrax terrorist? Where's the Enron secret partnerships?" Did you not hear the great George W. tell you Osama Bin Laden has been margarineized and has slipped through the cracks? George W. promised us Osama Bin Laden "dead or alive" in September, and now he is.

It is a disgrace to the memory of all the brave people who died on 9/11 to keep obsessing on one person just because he is responsible for the attacks. Instead we should ignore him and pick a fight with Sodom Husane's Iraq or Iran or that other hotbed of Muslin fanaticism North Korea. Or the Phillipines or Somalia or Yemen.

Bill Bennett knows this. That is why he has formed a new committee to attack Jimmy Carter and Maxine Waters to show the solidarity of all Americans. Do we want to live here under George W, or do we want to live in the kind of country where people can ask questions and criticize the war when they feel like it?

And now when the defeatist and traitorous DemocRats are trying to waste billions taking sewage out of drinking water, our Great President Bush is standing up to fight back. He knows we need those billions for the war, and not because the Bush and Bin Laden families are in the arms business, so stop saying that.

Well, I am not among the cowardly tiny minority who oppose the greatest president of all time, and I plan to drink right out of the toilet from now on to show my support. I want war, not clean water!

It will also show all those envirowackos and tree huggers out there that their "so-called" concern for health is nothing but hysteria and junk science. And I hope whenever you see a toilet from now on you will think of the George W. Bush, the Greatest President of All Time, and what he is doing to America.

I am sure that other true American patriots will join me. Would it not be a great day if Rush Limbaugh and Trent Lott and Bill O'Reilly and Ann Coulter and William Buckley and Tom DeLay and Katherine Harris (who you cannot prove a thing) and Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms and Bob Barr and William Bennett and Dick Cheney and the Supreme Court and all the rest joined George W. in public for a toast to conservative-ism with a big glass of sewage water? I know I would. Maybe John Ashcroft would sing.

Bob Boudelang is a Republican team leader who could be throwing up from anything. That is just junk science and you know it.

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals