Equal Time with Bob Boudelang

"Pat Boone Has Left the Building and Other Caricature Assassination!"

July 17, 2004
By Bob Boudelang, Angry American Patriot

How do Democraps and Moderates go about their day to day humdrum meaningless lives without collapsing of shame and disgrace? I ask you?

Instead of seeming weak and satisfied with the staus quo like normal people, they insist on causing trouble for Our Great President and other important people. Whether it is halling poor Ken Lay around in handcuffs or investigating honest Tom DeLay, it is like they are termites nawing at the heart of George W. and this country of his.

For example, how many married people like Secret Service Agent Brown and Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld are going to be terroristized now that we canot have an amendment to the Constitution keeping gay people from getting married? And no, they do not seem particularly terroristized, but I am sure they are just putting up a brave face. And that was just horseplay when he turned the garden hose on me, no matter what it looked like.

However as Our Great Senate Leader Bill Frisp (whose family did steal billions from Medicare stop saying that!) says, "This is an issue that is not going away," although it is going away for now. Fortunately we Republicans have managed to inspire young people with a celebrity-stubbled press conference to promote changing the constitution so gay people cannot have special rights like everybody else, and so the voters of tomorrow will be thinking about it today, now that they saw the press conference the day before yesterday.

And it was an exciting event, too, with the guy who starred in Herpes the Love Bug and teen idle Pat Boone. I cut out a picture for all the hepcaps and homos in the hood to show that it is hip to hate gay people.

When Mrs. Brown Rosenfeld saw the photo she said "Tooty Fruity All Rooty." Then she would not explain that to me, but I do not think it was a complement.

Fortunately, the defeat of the Scarcity of Marriage Act on Wensday did not tarnish Our Great President because he had distanced himself from it by not mentioning it since the Saturday previous.

Meanwhile I could not of said this better myself: "The last sign of a defeated and intellectually bankrupt party is a hate-filled strategy of caricature assassination," said Jonathan Grella, a DeLay spokesman. Of course he is talking about the Democraps and their desperate witch hump against Honest Tom, just because he took some illegal campaign contributions.

Everywhere there is signs that America is coming around to my way of thinking. A new book tells us about Alkaheeda having nucular bombs from Russia which is not the fault of Our Great President for cutting the program to track them, and does so in a "a coherent, nonsense way." I can hardly wait to take it from the liberry and write stuff like "how true" and "Klintoon lied about sex!" in the margims like true scholers do.

Speaking of lies, I am proud to report that I again protested the Roger Moore film at my local movie. I snuck in and after a few moments I stood up and shouted "Our Great President is not a liar and does not have an army of killer robots!" And they threw me out like so much garbage! Imagine, and me a wounded veteran of the war in Grenada, even if it was friendly fire. But I guess that means nothing to leftist punks with flashlights.

It would be cool if George W. did have an army of killer robots, though. Of course, we would have to find a way to protect them from Arnold Schwatzenabor, but still!

And let us not forget that Iraq is now a sovrin country and not in any way the responsibility of Our Great President no matter how many more Americans get killed or wounded there. And for all those who said that Our New Great President of Iraq there would be a weak puppet, let me just point out that he is taking a hands-on approach to problems. So there!

Yes, Pat Boone may have left the building, but Our Great President is still rocking and rolling against gay people and the environment and the UN and France and all the rest of our enemies. And so am I.

 
Bob Boudelang is a Republican Team Leader who is available to speak to your church or youth group about Our Great President despite the smell. Write him at bobboudelang@yahoo.com so you can arrange to pick me up at the trailer park.

Read Bob's Other Rebuttals