PRESS RELEASE: From 7 Other Presidential Candidates

[tsipple]

Just got this press release faxed to me. It's signed by Braun, Edwards, Kucinich, Gephardt, Graham, Sharpton, and Lieberman. (Clark's signature might be on it, but my fax machine ran out of paper at the end.)

PRESS RELEASE
Democratic Candidates to Yield Debate Time to John Kerry

September 14, 2003

Senator John Kerry says he's not well equipped to handle a one minute debate format. Now, while we're not sure the eventual Democratic nominee will get one minute of airtime for anything, we understand that Senator Kerry needs more time.

So, we, the "Other Seven," agree to yield a full seven additional minutes to John Kerry at the next nationally televised Democratic Candidates Debate so he can spend eight minutes of uninterrupted time attacking Governor Howard Dean of Vermont.

We do recognize that eight minutes is still very little time for a Senator used to the unlimited time rules of the Senate floor. But we hope this additional time provides Senator Kerry with what wants. He will also have his other one minute timeslots for rebuttal later in the debate.

While we disagree with Senator Kerry that all seven of us are meaningless distractions and do not deserve as much attack time as he does, we thought we'd be generous and respectful. We're unclear why his still sizeable campaign bank account doesn't provide ample opportunity to get his message out. Regardless, we'll do what's right for Senator Kerry.

If we're sufficiently entertained, we'll extend a second set of seven minutes, for a full sixteen minutes (fourteen from us, two from his own allotment) of Dean-bashing goodness. We'll hold a quick vote during the debate amongst ourselves to decide -- which means that real voters decide, of course.

We're all looking forward to the next debate to hear Senator Kerry.

###

[Terwilliger]

1. heh

link to The Onion?

[disgruntella]

2. whatever

[Eloriel]

3. Funny as all get out

Tee hee.

Eloriel

[DEMActivist]

Bwahahahahahahaha!

Good one!

[newsguyatl]

4. LOL

hey, eloriel, tomorrow's the big day!! woohoo

[blm]

5. Yep...I'm sure it's Kerry they are disgusted with...HAHAH.

Whoever wrote this WISHES Dean was popular enough with the other candidates that they would say this.

[CMT]

6. that's a good one

thanks for the laugh.

[LizW]

7. Hee!

That is funny.:kick:

[RUMMYisFROSTED]

8. I've done gone and blowed my side out from laughing.

[dkf]

9. You are TOO FUNNY!!!

Still laughing, stomach sore, bwa ha ha ha.

Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean, Dean.

[mandyky]

10. So was this MEANT to be a joke? or

is this true?

Personally, from the way Lieberman and Kucinich have been at recent Debates and forums, I kinda doubt they decided to let Kerry have all the "fame" for locking and loading on Dean, but who the heck knows. Election 2004 promises to get more interesting by the day!!!

[DrFunkenstein]

11. "I just wish he had given me a chance to respond to all that stuff"

Guess who said that?

<>

Does this look like a man that would relish getting mouthy with Kerry?

[Terwilliger]

12. the article is a joke

The Onion or somesuch

[babzilla]

13. kick

for the funniest piece of satire I have seen on this forum yet.