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Fri May 18, 2018, 07:44 PM

I have lost a child and it is the worst thing that can happen.

Everything I have has become worthless. I wake up at night thinking of him. When I wake in the morning and realize it's not a dream, I fall into a deep depression. My living children don't make it any better. Losing a child at any age is unbearable but at an early age like these kids is beyond words for the parents. Remember the Republican Party turned us into, NRAmerica, remember it every day when you wake up. Every single day. They did it. They suck. They are Satan on earth.

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Reply I have lost a child and it is the worst thing that can happen. (Original post)
pwb May 2018 OP
Eliot Rosewater May 2018 #1
MFM008 May 2018 #2
Croney May 2018 #3
Maraya1969 May 2018 #9
Scarsdale May 2018 #36
Miigwech May 2018 #4
pwb May 2018 #6
Maraya1969 May 2018 #8
Miigwech May 2018 #15
DFW May 2018 #5
Maraya1969 May 2018 #7
asiliveandbreathe May 2018 #10
Stuart G May 2018 #11
sinkingfeeling May 2018 #12
Ilsa May 2018 #13
Sophia4 May 2018 #14
Honeycombe8 May 2018 #16
AlexSFCA May 2018 #17
cpamomfromtexas May 2018 #18
democrank May 2018 #19
smirkymonkey May 2018 #20
Squinch May 2018 #21
Butterflylady May 2018 #22
bronxiteforever May 2018 #23
Wawannabe May 2018 #24
Duppers May 2018 #25
tiredtoo May 2018 #26
Silver1 May 2018 #27
barbtries May 2018 #28
easttexaslefty May 2018 #29
pwb May 2018 #30
Akacia May 2018 #31
Boomer May 2018 #32
NNadir May 2018 #33
mnhtnbb May 2018 #34
Still In Wisconsin May 2018 #35
BadgerMom May 2018 #37
NewEnglandAutumn May 2018 #38

Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 07:45 PM

1. I am so sorry. It is my worst fear. I cant imagine.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 07:49 PM

2. How awful

So sorry.
Cant even think of it.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 07:51 PM

3. Forty-eight years ago, I lost a four-year-old.

Life changes forever. It goes on, but you never forget. You survive, and even thrive, but you mourn forever.

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Response to Croney (Reply #3)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:09 PM

9. I'm sorry for your loss.

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Response to Croney (Reply #3)

Sat May 19, 2018, 07:30 PM

36. Eight years ago

I lost my 45 year old son. It leaves a hole in your heart that nothing can fill. Even the other children still mourn. I still sit alone and cry, thinking about him occasionally. Very difficult to deal with a loss of that magnitude. I feel your pain, literally. This is not the order in which events are expected to happen. Sylvester Stallone said it best "We join a club that nobody wants to join" Deeply sorry for your loss.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 07:52 PM

4. Ubearable bearable

 

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Response to Miigwech (Reply #4)

Fri May 18, 2018, 07:59 PM

6. Not sure what that means?

Help me out with that will you?

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Response to pwb (Reply #6)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:07 PM

8. I'm curious too.

Maybe that the word, "unbearable" is really a misnomer because when we feel it is unbearable we are actually bearing it. So nothing is really unbearable, just very uncomfortable. ??

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Response to pwb (Reply #6)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:06 PM

15. OK

 

A conundrum where one must bear the unbearable because they are living it all the time.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 07:54 PM

5. It must be devastating

And even more so to hear the Paul Ryans of this world on the evening news saying, in essence, that they couldn't care less.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:05 PM

7. I am so sorry for your loss

I wish I had words for you. I really do.




Well, I don't know if this will help and I am not religious nor (well I am Buddhist) but I do think this verse from the Christian bible means something. It talks about the, "Peace that passes understanding".

That is what I wish for you. The peace that passes understanding.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:12 PM

10. As a Mum, my biggest fear - the loss of one of my children...my heart aches for you..

There are no words that can make the pain go away..a dear friend lost her 4 year old - she opened the backseat door - fell out, as my friend was backing out of the driveway (years ago we didn't have seatbelt regulations, she hit her head..she would be 47 this year...2 years younger than my daughter...her husband blamed her and left (although, that was a good thing, he was a tyrant..)

How my dear friend has made it this far - support from friends and family...I only tell you this story, that I haven't visited for many years, to let you know, people care, strangers even..

These children are our children, and we must NOT give in or give up..if activism is the answer, then so be it..so many have walked in your shoes, so many yesterday and today walk in your shoes, you are not alone...reach out - there are many organizations just waiting to hear from you..

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:47 PM

11. Sorry for your loss...

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:59 PM

12. I think losing a child has to be the worst. Especially to see other children grow and have

lives of their own. So sorry for all those who have lost a child.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 08:59 PM

13. I am so sorry for your loss and pain.

It is my worst nightmare.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:00 PM

14. My father was a minister and a counselor.

 

He always told us when we were children and teenagers that worst thing that can happen to anyone is to lose a child.

He knew. He tried to comfort and pray with many parents who had lost their children. He cried with them. He suffered with them.

There is nothing worse than losing a child.

The Republicans bear responsibility for every child that dies due to a gun.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:11 PM

16. I can't imagine. All I can do is feel for your pain...

and try to relate it to the loss of my beloved pets (since I never had children). That was bad enough...I can't imagine losing a child.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:12 PM

17. I can't even beging to imagine. I won't be able to go on if it happens to me

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:20 PM

18. My heart aches for you.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:30 PM

19. I'm so sorry, pwb.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:39 PM

20. I am so sorry for your loss.

 

I can't imagine your heartbreak. Thank you for sharing your experience with us.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:41 PM

21. My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry. And your point is a good one.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:41 PM

22. I can honestly say I know your pain.

I lost my som 9 years ago come August. He was the oldest of 5 children. All I can tell you is with each passing day you be able to endure the pain a little better, however, it will always be there.

John was 46 when he died and yes it does not matter the age, but at least I had those 46 years with him. I tell my other children to treasure every moment they have with their kids because you never know what the next moment will bring.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 09:57 PM

23. When I was a child my older brother died of cancer, my mom

And dad were never the same. There was always a reminder of the son lost, always a little sadness.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I think how much pain is to be suffered by these parents. It is too much to bear.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 10:18 PM

24. Comfort to you



Loss is real. I just lost my dog - while no comparison to a child - I am feeling really lost as we did things together every day. He needed me and I him. He was totally tuned into me and it feels like part of me is gone. Just gone. How does one deal with that without feeling depressed? I hope a time comes for you to remember joyfully rather than painfully.

I know Zeus led a wonderful life for 8 yrs and that is what I hold onto most. When alive that boy was happy and well cared for his whole life. Try to focus on happiest memories for a change or for a while??

Peace to you friend.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 10:29 PM

25. I am sooo sorry.

Last edited Sat May 19, 2018, 12:56 AM - Edit history (1)

I'm sorry and I have no comforting words.

A few decades ago I lost a full-term baby at birth but my pain cannot equal yours or any mother's who has had a long relationship with her child. I know you are crushed. I ache for you.


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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 10:41 PM

26. So sorry for your loss

My wife of 56 years died about two years ago and the pain while less now, remains. Cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. They do live on in your fond memories but, it still hurts.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Fri May 18, 2018, 11:06 PM

27. I'm so so sorry you lost your baby.

Nothing can make up for it. Please remember, if it's any consolation at all, that the rest of us who are parents are there with you. Words just aren't enough.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 02:19 AM

28. i'm so sorry for your loss.

my daughter was killed in 2001, 13 days after her 21st birthday. i do not believe that there is anything worse that can happen in a parent's life than to have to bury a child.

I don't know when or how your son died, but it seems as if it was more recent, and i want you to know that life will get better for you. grief counseling, writing, being active, all these things helped, but the tincture of time was probably the single most important thing for me to find some peace and regain the ability to just, enjoy myself. to experience joy, to have fun, to look forward.

hugs. you are not alone.

i hate so much that this happens over and over. it is not necessary. they're not supposed to be dead. my heart hurts for them, and for you, and for all who are forced to enter the dark place where we grieve for our children.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 08:39 AM

29. It is the worst thing in the world

My life ended the day my son's did.
Sending big hugs to you.

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Response to easttexaslefty (Reply #29)

Sat May 19, 2018, 10:18 AM

30. Thank you.

Peace be with you and all of us who have buried children.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 04:23 PM

31. So sorry and I understand....

I lost my oldest boy to a drunk driver and the pain is always there. Needless to say I get very angry with people that think it is okay to drink and drive.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 04:50 PM

32. Your living children need their parent

For their sake, you need to handle your grief in a way that doesn't double the loss for everyone. Seek help to overcome your depression.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 05:02 PM

33. I live in fear of that every time the NRA blows away children. So much for the "right to life..."

...about which the Repukes are always talking.

It apparently only means something to them when it involves a fetus. Human beings outside of the womb have no right to life that supersedes their imagined "right" to own guns and allow other people to own guns to blow students away.

It's becoming so ordinary that it's a footnote on the headlines today which are all about that hereditary Prince who got married.

This country is getting more horrible by the hour.

Please accept my condolences. I can't imagine.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 06:47 PM

34. I am so sorry for your loss

and the senseless deaths of children being murdered in this country by all the guns.

Unexpected, unanticipated death of family and friends of any age is hard to accept. But when it's children, it's just so wrong, so not normal. So painful.

I had a stillborn baby--not full term--in 1989 and it crushed me. I was never the same even though a year later I was pregnant and then confined for 4 1/2 months due to complications so I wouldn't lose that child the same way I had lost our daughter a year earlier.

I still wonder what life would have been like had she been born and survived. I wouldn't have my second son. It's all so unknowable. The pride and joy I have known from being mother to the second son still doesn't cover the pain that remains from losing my daughter.

I just can't imagine sending a child off to school one day and then living the horror of having them never come home because they were murdered in their classroom. It's just unimaginable. I don't know how any of these parents manage to go on with their lives.

This country is seriously sick. Seriously messed up to refuse to fix the problem of such unlimited access to guns.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 07:02 PM

35. Same here, we buried a baby boy and the pain is forever.

 

My thoughts are with you. My prayer for this nation is that we somehow find a way to put the welfare and safety of all children above the profits of the gun industry or anybody else

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 07:30 PM

37. We lost our 20-year-old son in 2002.

Nine months earlier he had been diagnosed with Ewing’s sarcoma. This occurred 30 months after his brother, my stepson, my husband’s older son, had died in a traffic accident. It doesn’t matter if you know they are slipping away or if it happens unexpectedly. The loss changes you and your family forever.
All of this strikes me after these school massacres that occur to maintain the Republican base.
Peace, pwb and all of the others.

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Response to pwb (Original post)

Sat May 19, 2018, 07:43 PM

38. I too have lost a child

and I agree with everything you wrote. Even though I still have three surviving children, I will never be whole again without my son. The world only tolerates grief for a short time; we 'comfort' the bereaved with the words time heals. I don't think does, we just get better at hiding it. My son died in 2012 (not gun related). I still cry for him every day. The NRA is evil for inflicting this pain on so many families.

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