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leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:03 PM Mar 2020

My sister's MIL passed and funeral limits 50 people

My sister's mother-in-law passed this morning. Collapsed. Not sick at all. 63 and could work circles around us. Thin, healthy vibrant.
My sister married into a family my mother knew very well her whole life. I am my moms caregiver as she has health challenges, and Alzheimer's.. We are in a neighboring state, but my mom is from that small town and knows many people there.

The funeral home can only allow 50 people. So the service is postponed until June.
We are isolated now and have been because I followed the coronavirus story early (January). I prepped in February.
We will travel because its important. But I'm perplexed by the logistics. Do we go to see the surviving spouse? Of course. He's 80 though. My mom is 78. I hate the thought of his isolation too. These are trying times. And how much of this is going to happen? Too much.

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My sister's MIL passed and funeral limits 50 people (Original Post) leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 OP
I hate to say it, but 50 people together at a funeral htuttle Mar 2020 #1
Agreed leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #2
I am sorry, this is very hard in so many ways. uppityperson Mar 2020 #3
Thanks leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #5
condolences, n/t kozar Mar 2020 #4
Thank you leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #6
Try a funeral (or gathering) by zoom - Ms. Toad Mar 2020 #7
Ah. Good idea leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #9
It's pretty easy to use - Ms. Toad Mar 2020 #10
Oh great leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #12
See if the funeral home can help facilitate more remote/virtual communication. Maru Kitteh Mar 2020 #8
I will have my sister check leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #11
You are quite welcome. I so wish this could all pass quickly, it breaks my heart. nt Maru Kitteh Mar 2020 #13
One of my classmates from 50 years ago ribrepin Mar 2020 #14
This is how it will be for safety's sake leighbythesea2 Mar 2020 #15

htuttle

(23,738 posts)
1. I hate to say it, but 50 people together at a funeral
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:06 PM
Mar 2020

Could lead to (doing math...) 1-2 other people dying. Or more, if they they're mostly senior citizens.

leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
2. Agreed
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:11 PM
Mar 2020

Yes, Have followed the science quire closely. There should not be a funeral. Im trying to figure out how to be supportive to peoples grief. (My own included) it suddenly feels even more isolated around here. And more sad, obviously. I feel bad for everyone.

leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
5. Thanks
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:34 PM
Mar 2020

How to balance grief and support, and a little closure...
And prudence. Even amongst just a few people.

leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
9. Ah. Good idea
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:40 PM
Mar 2020

I will look into this. Am unfamiliar. My sister and I didnt have any productive ideas today. Thanks.

Ms. Toad

(33,915 posts)
10. It's pretty easy to use -
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:45 PM
Mar 2020

and has much more of a feel of being in the same place than some of the other services, especially when you have lots of parties. Friends' meetings across the country are using them for meeting for worship (church equivalent).

Maru Kitteh

(28,303 posts)
8. See if the funeral home can help facilitate more remote/virtual communication.
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:38 PM
Mar 2020

Your mom and the surviving spouse are fully grown adults. Unless either of them is in a deep state of dementia, explain the risks and respect their decision. It's their lives, and they should not be treated as incapable of making decisions (no matter what we may think) unless they are.

All of this is so hard on all of us. We want to protect everyone we love. Best of luck to you and your family.




leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
11. I will have my sister check
Tue Mar 17, 2020, 10:47 PM
Mar 2020

With the funeral home. Its such a small town, we shall see but thats definitely something they should be thinking about too.
We just all went into governor-advised stay home. I agree with it all. I just didnt think about this scenario.
Thank you.

ribrepin

(1,715 posts)
14. One of my classmates from 50 years ago
Wed Mar 18, 2020, 12:21 AM
Mar 2020

passed recently from cancer. The funeral is delayed until after the corona virus is over.

leighbythesea2

(1,200 posts)
15. This is how it will be for safety's sake
Wed Mar 18, 2020, 02:21 PM
Mar 2020

It will be hard on families grieving processes though. My condolences. We dont have an exact date, but june tenatively.

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