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Wed May 27, 2020, 05:28 PM

A very moving account: Life or death still possible': 31 days at my dad's virtual bedside.

One of the most difficult things one can do is to preside of the extreme illness of one's parent or spouse, or son or daughter.

This account, on the CNN website, moved me to tears: Covid-19 Life or death still possible': 31 days at my dad's virtual bedside

(CNN)I wrote a draft of my father's obituary on the evening of March 30th.

He had been on a ventilator for 11 days. The attending physician at the intensive care unit had called that morning and asked whether they should include a Do Not Resuscitate order in my dad's chart. They had asked before. I had been indecisive. A successful resuscitation would extend his life. But it might also lead to brain damage.

Now multiple organ systems were failing. They needed an answer...


It's a beautifully written piece, a profound tribute to a father, written by his son.

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Reply A very moving account: Life or death still possible': 31 days at my dad's virtual bedside. (Original post)
NNadir May 2020 OP
renate May 2020 #1
NNadir May 2020 #6
CaliforniaPeggy May 2020 #2
NNadir May 2020 #7
Frustratedlady May 2020 #3
brer cat May 2020 #4
qazplm135 May 2020 #5

Response to NNadir (Original post)

Wed May 27, 2020, 05:45 PM

1. I honestly could not recommend that article more highly. It's beautiful and it's important

I'll let its beauty speak for itself.

But as much as I've been watching the news (and believing it), hearing the toll mount every day, taking the virus 100% seriously, this was a picture of the hospital experience of so many COVID patients that I had never seen or heard before. I knew, abstractly, that it was painful and difficult, with ups and downs and hopes and fears, but this article... wow.

I wish so much that the people partying in Lake of the Ozarks and behaving like fools could have read this first and decided to not even roll the dice with their or, more importantly, others' health. This stuff is so important to know about.

Less focus on the numbers and more focus on the experience of having COVID would make such a difference. I know that responsible people in the media are doing their best to warn, and I also know it's not working, because for too many people looking a little bit silly with a mask on is apparently worse than throwing clots or drowning internally. If more people wrote more articles like these, and more people read them, so much suffering could be avoided.

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Response to renate (Reply #1)

Thu May 28, 2020, 07:21 AM

6. I absolutely agree. We - myself included - often forget the human beings behind the numbers.

This piece puts the humanity back into those numbers.

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Wed May 27, 2020, 06:00 PM

2. That is an amazing obituary, my dear NNadir.

Superb writing!

I felt as though I'd been present for all the things that happened.

Thank you for posting this story.

It's magnificent!



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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #2)

Thu May 28, 2020, 07:22 AM

7. Thank you Peg. I also felt as if I were there, feeling all that uncertainty and pain. n/t.

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Wed May 27, 2020, 06:25 PM

3. Whoa! What a wonderful tribute and one that shows the ups/downs of this incredible virus.

I've been there with parents, siblings and in-laws, but never with Covid-19. I can't imagine how difficult it would be to have a family member or friend going through this misery and not be able to stay with them and support them...talk to them or touch them.

This young son was fortunate to have the medical support system that would give him information twice per day, but the roller-coaster ride he and his family were on was incredible. We hear the same type of situation from other stories and the stress has to be nearly unbearable. They say God only gives you what you can handle. This is stretching that thought to the limit.

The article is long but well worth the read. Be sure to have some tissues nearby.

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Wed May 27, 2020, 06:53 PM

4. K&R

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Response to NNadir (Original post)

Wed May 27, 2020, 06:59 PM

5. well that was deeply sad

you read it thinking the dad is going to pull through and then wham.

Oof...that's...tough.

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