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Rhiannon12866

(203,041 posts)
Sun May 31, 2020, 12:07 AM May 2020

Angela Merkel Practices Social Distancing by Staying Four Thousand Miles Away from Trump

BERLIN (The Borowitz Report)—In an effort to practice social distancing, the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, is staying four thousand miles away from Donald Trump, Merkel has confirmed.

Merkel’s decision to decline Trump’s invitation to a possible meeting of the G-7 in Washington was based “entirely on science,” Merkel told reporters.

“Epidemiologists have recommended that, in order to be safe, one should social-distance by six feet,” she said. “It only stands to reason that I will be even safer if I social-distance by twenty-one million feet.”

Merkel said that she was taking the extremely cautious social-distancing measures regarding Trump because of “the danger posed by being in proximity to someone who speaks so loudly and incessantly.”

“His mouth is like a firehose of droplets,” she said, shuddering.

Asked whether she would reconsider a White House visit if Trump agreed to wear a mask, she said, “Donald Trump with a mask is clearly a big improvement over Donald Trump without a mask, but no.”

The German leader added that she could envision making a trip to the Oval Office if “events on the ground change,” most likely in January of 2021.


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/angela-merkel-practices-social-distancing-by-staying-four-thousand-miles-away-from-trump



Photograph by Peter Nicholls / EPE-EFE / Shutterstock

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Angela Merkel Practices Social Distancing by Staying Four Thousand Miles Away from Trump (Original Post) Rhiannon12866 May 2020 OP
Reccing for the headline. nt greyl May 2020 #1
This isn't humor. sheshe2 May 2020 #2
A safe distance from Dump is measured in parsecs, not miles. nt Ohiya May 2020 #3
I wish I could be that far from him too. Jamastiene May 2020 #4
You're not the only one! Rhiannon12866 May 2020 #5
She's the leader of the G6 now. n/t Lock him up. May 2020 #6
Since he intends to invite Russia which was suspended in 2014, the other countries may well follow Rhiannon12866 May 2020 #8
She is a very wise woman. smirkymonkey May 2020 #7
And so say all of us malaise May 2020 #9
Let's hope that this catches on internationally! Rhiannon12866 May 2020 #10
We would all like to get far from the clown ... Hermit-The-Prog May 2020 #11
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