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Rhiannon12866

(202,970 posts)
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 05:51 AM Jul 2020

Trump Replaces Fauci with Chuck Woolery

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In a stunning repudiation of the nation’s leading infectious-disease expert, Donald J. Trump has replaced Dr. Anthony Fauci with the veteran game-show host Chuck Woolery.

Appearing at the White House with his newest Coronavirus Task Force member, Trump said that he chose Woolery because he has “a much better record of success than Tony.”

“Tony Fauci is a nice guy, but he’s been wrong a lot,” Trump said. “Chuck has made thousands of love connections that turned out a hundred-per-cent right.”

Woolery said that his first official act as part of the Coronavirus Task Force would be to eliminate social distancing, calling the practice “ridiculous.”

“How are you supposed to go on a date and stay six feet apart?” Woolery asked. “If we had social distancing on ‘Love Connection,’ we wouldn’t have lasted a single episode.”

He also previewed his approach to clinical trials for potential coronavirus vaccines. “We’ll inject each contestant with three vaccines and see which one he’s most compatible with,” he said. “The audience is gonna eat that up.”

Woolery concluded his appearance without taking any questions from reporters, saying, “We’ll be back in two and two.”


Short article, no more at link: https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-replaces-fauci-with-chuck-woolery




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Fritz Walter

(4,281 posts)
1. A blast from the past
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 06:25 AM
Jul 2020

In true "life imitates art" fashion, this Borowitz piece reminds me of a reality TV show sketch by The Firesign Theatre -- created over 50 years ago. Now it has taken on a new and very ominous meaning.



The toon adaptation of the radio show segment is surprisingly good.

In case this was (way) before your time, here's info on Firesign Theatre:
The Firesign Theatre was an American surreal comedy troupe who first appeared on November 17, 1966, in a live performance on the Los Angeles radio program Radio Free Oz on station KPFK FM. They continued appearing on Radio Free Oz, which later moved to KRLA 1110 AM and then KMET FM, through February 1969.
Source: Wikipedia

Rhiannon12866

(202,970 posts)
5. Thanks for the background!
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 07:10 AM
Jul 2020

The name sounded familiar, but I wasn't sure what they did - and it sure sounds like they had a premonition! So much these days is surreal, I'm never sure if it's Borowitz, The Onion or breaking news!

Scarsdale

(9,426 posts)
2. Chuck Woolery is still alive?
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 06:31 AM
Jul 2020

Well, since he had "great ratings" I can understand why tRump is a fan. Dr. Fauci has spent most of his life studying diseases, so naturally tRump will toss him aside. No competent people are allowed in this administration.

Rhiannon12866

(202,970 posts)
6. If he had to choose another game show host, I wish it was Alex Trebek
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 07:31 AM
Jul 2020

At least he'd be familiar with history and geography after dealing with the questions and answers for all these years...

JHB

(37,128 posts)
8. Trump's a fan because Woolery is a MAGA ranting crank on Twitter...
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 07:37 AM
Jul 2020

...and a big fan of Trump.

In a just world the two of them would while away their "golden years" parked on the end stools of some hole-in-the-wall bar muttering in their cups nursing a beer all day long.

sop

(9,945 posts)
3. Last anyone heard of Woolery he was pushing some homeopathic back pain creme on the radio.
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 06:58 AM
Jul 2020

Chuck ended up suing the maker of that back pain creme snake oil, claiming they'd cheated him out of his share of the profits.

Ilsa

(61,675 posts)
4. Blue Emu! What do emus have to do with arthritis?
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 07:03 AM
Jul 2020

What product of emus are used in this creme?

Woolery is a huckster, like trump, but on a smaller scale.

JI7

(89,172 posts)
7. Woolery and Trump should both have been left in the 80s and the next time we heard about them
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 07:36 AM
Jul 2020

was when they died .

OneBro

(1,159 posts)
12. I chuckled when I first saw the title, then . . .
Tue Jul 14, 2020, 09:01 AM
Jul 2020

. . . there was a moment of panic as I quickly scrolled down to see if it was real. Whew! Just Andy doing his thing. Okay, heart rate slowly returning to normal.

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