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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsGOP Leaders Begin Search For Prissy, Miserable Shithead Who Can Compete With Trump In 2024
WASHINGTONCasting an eye towards the next presidential election, Republican party leaders had reportedly begun a search Tuesday for a new prissy little shithead who would be able to compete against Trump in 2024.
Weve obviously had a wonderful relationship with President Trump, but we feel our interests may best be served by a different whining, prim fuckface to lead the party forward, said RNC chair Ronna McDaniel, confirming that the GOP would be looking at figures from politics, media, and law enforcement in an effort to find a candidate with the right mix of froufrou aesthetics and raging assholishness to build on and expand Trumps base.
We expect this to be an exhaustive process, as the most obvious prissy little shitheads such as Ted Cruz and Marco Rubio have not caught on with the American public as we had hoped, though fortunately, we have thousands of effete fuckwads who are clamoring for the position. Whoever we finally select, voters can rest assured it will be a little fancy man absolutely ravaged by insecurity and self-loathing.
At press time, McDaniel added that if they could not find such a person, equipping Donald Trump with a different messaging strategy could make him a great candidate for 2024.
https://politics.theonion.com/gop-leaders-begin-search-for-prissy-miserable-shithead-1845698547
Midnight Writer
(21,548 posts)smirkymonkey
(63,221 posts)He totally fits the bill!
Response to Zorro (Original post)
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GopherGal
(1,999 posts)...or they're silently acknowledging that he may drag one or more of his spawn along with him into prison.