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drmeow

(4,996 posts)
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 08:14 PM Jul 2021

I'm feeling very nervous

When things were getting better, a Bat Mitzvah which was delayed for a year was scheduled for about a week from now. We made plans to spend a week with family before hand (fortunately before hand given the age and health of my parents). I believe everyone who was invited to the Bat Mitzvah had to show proof of vaccination but, as we now know, that's not really effective in large indoor groups. I'm feeling very nervous about this party (I do have a dressy mask to wear). Can't not go - the relationship (1st cousin and close knit family) is too close.

21 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
I'm feeling very nervous (Original Post) drmeow Jul 2021 OP
yes you can "not go" Skittles Jul 2021 #1
Agreed! SheltieLover Jul 2021 #2
Right enough Jul 2021 #6
+1 2naSalit Jul 2021 #9
This message was self-deleted by its author Chin music Jul 2021 #10
Tell that to my husband NT drmeow Jul 2021 #12
so your husband is making you go? Skittles Jul 2021 #14
No kidding. Treefrog Jul 2021 #19
Send a gift and your sincere apologies. smirkymonkey Jul 2021 #17
Cloth masks no longer good enough SheltieLover Jul 2021 #3
Explain your fears XanaDUer2 Jul 2021 #4
Double up your masks if you go. BigmanPigman Jul 2021 #5
My daughter got married a year ago LeftInTX Jul 2021 #7
she should not have put you in that position Skittles Jul 2021 #16
The vaccine remains very effective in large indoor groups greenjar_01 Jul 2021 #8
I work in medical research in an academic medical center drmeow Jul 2021 #13
Then you have an even better excuse not to go. smirkymonkey Jul 2021 #18
Then why are you here asking for random advice from strangers? Treefrog Jul 2021 #20
Then you're in the right place BannonsLiver Jul 2021 #11
ROFL greenjar_01 Jul 2021 #15
You can "not go." Ms. Toad Jul 2021 #21

Skittles

(152,967 posts)
1. yes you can "not go"
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 08:16 PM
Jul 2021

use your better judgement - this is how covid spreads, in part because people feel obligated to go against their better judgement

Response to Skittles (Reply #1)

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
17. Send a gift and your sincere apologies.
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 11:25 PM
Jul 2021

It is not worth risking your health. We don't know how bad this can get at this point.
Either that or fake illness, however if your husband goes and you live with him, that is still going to be a problem, but may still be less risky.

XanaDUer2

(10,328 posts)
4. Explain your fears
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 08:21 PM
Jul 2021

and don't go. Not worth scaring yourself. We all need to be understanding of one another

BigmanPigman

(51,432 posts)
5. Double up your masks if you go.
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 08:29 PM
Jul 2021

I hope at least one mask is a real N95. If Covid is aerosolized it can be very difficult to stop. I wear real N95s and rarely go out but somehow I got a 5 day fever, chills, aches, etc. It wasn't Covid since I never had nose, throat, lung issues at all. I am fully vaxxed and live alone but somehow something infected me. You can't be too safe.

LeftInTX

(24,560 posts)
7. My daughter got married a year ago
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 09:53 PM
Jul 2021

I had no choice and they had big wedding.

It had already been delayed due to Covid. And this was before vaccines.


Here is what you can do besides masking up:

1. Sit far away from everyone

2. Spend as short of time as possible there - take outdoor breaks during the event

3. Quarantine yourself afterward

4. Test yourself three days after the event.


I couldn't even do 1 and 2, but I certainly was able to do 3. If you are vaccinated and develop Covid, symptoms should be mild unless you have an underlying condition.

drmeow

(4,996 posts)
13. I work in medical research in an academic medical center
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 10:51 PM
Jul 2021

don't patronize me. My fear is based on data that I have seen with my own eyes and data fellow scientists have reported.

 

smirkymonkey

(63,221 posts)
18. Then you have an even better excuse not to go.
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 11:27 PM
Jul 2021

You know what can and likely will happen. People will get over it if you aren't there. Little white lies were made for this kind of situation.

 

Treefrog

(4,170 posts)
20. Then why are you here asking for random advice from strangers?
Fri Jul 30, 2021, 01:48 AM
Jul 2021

Don’t go. As others have pointed out, it’s a no-brainer.

BannonsLiver

(16,162 posts)
11. Then you're in the right place
Thu Jul 29, 2021, 10:29 PM
Jul 2021

Last edited Fri Jul 30, 2021, 01:58 AM - Edit history (1)

This will be your guiding light of optimism and comfort in these trying times.

Ms. Toad

(33,915 posts)
21. You can "not go."
Fri Jul 30, 2021, 01:59 AM
Jul 2021

I have skipped several gatherings on my spouse's side of the family (which include several rabid anti-maskers).

You can also choose to go and stay safe. Get an N95 mask to wear underneath your dressy mask. Eat/drink before you go. That's what I did for my spouse's aunt's funeral close to the peak of COVID. The funeral mass and the graveside service were not problem because the former required masks, and the latter was outdoors.

The immediate family (my spouse, her 6 siblings, and descendants) spanned 4 states and at least 20 households went for a restaurant meal afterwards, at a time when indoor gathering were supposed to be limited to single households. I went, kept my mask on, just to acknowledge family ties. Everone else ate - and kept offering to get me food (they can be a bit dense at times).

So even if you choose to go, you don't have to put your life at risk.

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