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Thu Jan 27, 2022, 07:28 AM

Mitch McConnell blocks Breyer from retiring

https://www.theonion.com/mitch-mcconnell-blocks-justice-stephen-breyer-from-reti-1848427236/amp

WASHINGTON—In a controversial political maneuver that sparked outrage from Democrats and their allies, sources confirmed Wednesday that Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell had blocked Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer from retiring. “It is the Senate’s constitutional right to act as a check on Stephen Breyer,” said McConnell, who blasted the 83-year-old justice’s plan to step down from the bench as contrary to the founding fathers’ vision that Supreme Court members would serve until the day they keeled over and died. “The radical Democrats are clearly getting desperate and see Stephen Breyer’s retirement as their only recourse. There is simply no way I can allow it. If Justice Breyer wants to retire, he’ll have to wait until 2024 and let the American people decide if he’s finished.” At press time, sources confirmed that McConnell had used an arcane legal precedent to prevent Breyer from purchasing a condominium in Florida.


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Arrow 37 replies Author Time Post
Reply Mitch McConnell blocks Breyer from retiring (Original post)
ColinC Jan 2022 OP
twodogsbarking Jan 2022 #1
tavernier Jan 2022 #2
pazzyanne Jan 2022 #7
reACTIONary Jan 2022 #17
FreepFryer Jan 2022 #3
2Gingersnaps Jan 2022 #15
JHB Jan 2022 #4
KS Toronado Jan 2022 #9
SouthernDem4ever Jan 2022 #5
Progress4ever Jan 2022 #6
twodogsbarking Jan 2022 #8
Solomon Jan 2022 #10
stopdiggin Jan 2022 #13
ColinC Jan 2022 #34
arlyellowdog Jan 2022 #11
stopdiggin Jan 2022 #12
niyad Jan 2022 #16
stopdiggin Jan 2022 #19
niyad Jan 2022 #21
stopdiggin Jan 2022 #29
Tanuki Jan 2022 #27
stopdiggin Jan 2022 #30
ColinC Jan 2022 #35
reACTIONary Jan 2022 #18
Historic NY Jan 2022 #14
Joinfortmill Jan 2022 #20
msfiddlestix Jan 2022 #22
msfiddlestix Jan 2022 #23
ColinC Jan 2022 #32
Blue Owl Jan 2022 #24
Natal Jan 2022 #25
AngryOldDem Jan 2022 #26
UTUSN Jan 2022 #28
LetMyPeopleVote Jan 2022 #31
LeftInTX Jan 2022 #33
lame54 Jan 2022 #36
jmowreader Jan 2022 #37

Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 07:47 AM

1. Isn't this the definition of slavery?

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 07:49 AM

2. In that case, Kennedy must return

and Kavanaugh must resign.

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Response to tavernier (Reply #2)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:29 AM

7. + 1,000 nt

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Response to tavernier (Reply #2)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:46 AM

17. JFK? 😜

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 07:50 AM

3. Satire y'all

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Response to FreepFryer (Reply #3)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:29 AM

15. LOL, I had to double check and find "The Onion"

Sad, funny, scary part was "Oh dear God I hope this is The Onion, oh it is!!!"

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 07:51 AM

4. It's always easy to miss noticing something is from The Onion these days

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Response to JHB (Reply #4)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:40 AM

9. That is Moscow Mitch's unwritten rule

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 07:51 AM

5. I am sure the Onion can find many other arcane rules

lol

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:27 AM

6. Not gonna lie

 

I love it when people don't get satire. Makes me feel all smart for a few seconds!

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Response to Progress4ever (Reply #6)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:38 AM

8. What do you mean?

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Response to twodogsbarking (Reply #8)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:40 AM

10. Lol

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Response to twodogsbarking (Reply #8)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:04 AM

13. thanks. for performing that service.

taking one for the team ..
----- --- --- -----

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Response to twodogsbarking (Reply #8)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 06:39 PM

34. +1

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:49 AM

11. Why not link The Onion rather than Google

I realized it was The Onion from the title, but it wasn’t credited. (I know kids who write for The Onion).

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Response to arlyellowdog (Reply #11)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 08:59 AM

12. the link is the Onion -(nt)-

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Response to stopdiggin (Reply #12)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:35 AM

16. As posted in the OP, the link says "google", it does not say "The Onion". That

was the first thing that I checked.

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Response to niyad (Reply #16)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:50 AM

19. read the link

it's there in black and white (or blue in this case)

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Response to stopdiggin (Reply #19)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:58 AM

21. Try again. The link at the top of the OP says "google". One has to click on the

link to discover that it is The Onion. Usually, one posts The Onion link directly. Do please stop trying to suggest that people were less than intelligent for not being certain it was satire.

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Response to niyad (Reply #21)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 02:36 PM

29. you do NOT have to click on the link

you simply have to read it

here it is
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.theonion.com/mitch-mcconnell-blocks-justice-stephen-breyer-from-reti-1848427236/amp

exactly as it appears in the OP

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Response to stopdiggin (Reply #19)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 10:28 AM

27. Not everyone has the time to click and read every article posted here.

The source should have been indicated in the OP itself.

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Response to Tanuki (Reply #27)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 02:42 PM

30. you do NOT have to click on the link

as I keep pointing out www.theonion.com is right there IN the link

and the satire was rather overwhelmingly obviously - but that's a different argument.

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Response to Tanuki (Reply #27)

Fri Jan 28, 2022, 04:43 PM

35. FWIW the link was edited without the google. I will keep this in mind for future posts

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Response to arlyellowdog (Reply #11)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:49 AM

18. From the headline, I thought it would be....

... Borowitz. So when I saw google it was a bit confusing.

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:23 AM

14. I love reposting their stuff on twitter...

I imagine someone always keeling over either laughing or screaming.

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:53 AM

20. Oh, I missed it was the Onion. Scared the shit out of me.

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 09:58 AM

22. click bait.





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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 10:01 AM

23. Are you in the habit of posting click bait headlines?



just asking....

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Response to msfiddlestix (Reply #23)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 06:24 PM

32. It's a joke. From the onion.

The headline actually says as much if you pay a little bit of attention to it.

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 10:10 AM

24. Biden issues executive order for McConnell to fuck off

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 10:22 AM

25. LIGHTEN UP, PEOPLE!

 

Sure, the title had me fuming for a moment, but the "article" itself (keeled over and died! HA!) quickly revealed itself as satire.

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 10:23 AM

26. The Onion is too close to reality to be funny anymore.

What used to be satire is now plausibility.

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 10:37 AM

28. HAH!1

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 06:10 PM

31. I love good satire

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Thu Jan 27, 2022, 06:27 PM

33. Don't give him ideas!

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Fri Jan 28, 2022, 04:46 PM

36. Who does he think he is - Spotify?

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Response to ColinC (Original post)

Fri Jan 28, 2022, 04:49 PM

37. The Onion really needs to give it up

They started out as America's finest purveyor of satire, but now that they're printing real news I see no reason for them to continue.

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