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Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:10 PM Jun 2022

Fellow DU women, a question.

Are you censoring yourself right now? Trying to keep in check the full scope of your anger by tempering the expression of your anger?

I know I am.

Not in my own home, of course. I've been ranting and raving about the history of oppression faced by women in America, and not just women - but the advantages and control straight, white males have enjoyed over the rest of us. I'm fairly certain he was glad to go to work this AM. Not because he disagrees with me but because regardless of his own support, I can be vicious when truly angry. My words can be mean and cruel, even though they aren't directed at him. I'm not attacking him, but I am attacking a system that favors people like him (straight, white, and male). Only, I know people don't always see the difference when fury, hurt, and bitterness are being expressed. It can be hard to listen and not feel the need to defend yourself even when the only thing that is needed right then is to listen without going on the defensive. I will make no apologies for my anger, and he knows that too. Thankfully, he's not so stupid as to tell me I'm being unfair.

But online, I've been holding myself back.

Anyone else?







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Fellow DU women, a question. (Original Post) Solly Mack Jun 2022 OP
Yes BlueGreenLady Jun 2022 #1
Yes. I'll be avoiding certain people too. Haven't got the patience for their stupid. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #2
No Freddie Jun 2022 #3
I don't belong to any forum where I'd need to do that but if I did, I'd invite them to fuck off too. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #4
yes,,,, definitely,,,, KarenS Jun 2022 #5
Links that might help... Lars39 Jun 2022 #7
Thank you! n/t KarenS Jun 2022 #14
They're not worth your health. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #8
I know, trying to take care of me,,,, Thank you. KarenS Jun 2022 #20
I've been quiet. Nevilledog Jun 2022 #6
Yeah. I know what you mean. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #9
I've been playing video games. Nevilledog Jun 2022 #11
Thought about creating a Sims family bearing certain names and then Solly Mack Jun 2022 #13
Alrighty then.... Nevilledog Jun 2022 #19
I'll do it in groups. Too many and I might miss the actual moment of death. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #26
*snicker* Nevilledog Jun 2022 #31
Oh, heh! Had an on line friend on a different site that ran a Sims... electric_blue68 Jun 2022 #43
lol! on the screenshots. I can almost imagine the varying reactions that would get. lololol Solly Mack Jun 2022 #44
👍 We need every way to vent, rest, and be active in this horriffic turn of events electric_blue68 Jun 2022 #50
video games work for me too!! n/t KarenS Jun 2022 #21
I'm playing Tiny Tina's Wonderlands Nevilledog Jun 2022 #23
Nope, Sorry RobinA Jun 2022 #10
Everyone that has worked with and for abortion rights has been expecting this day to come Solly Mack Jun 2022 #16
Sometimes Bettie Jun 2022 #12
Fuck the fetus. That's my thoughts. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #17
I did tell a woman on Facebook today to Bettie Jun 2022 #24
It's their hell, so they can worry about it. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #27
i love what you told the woman on fb. good job, bettie! nt orleans Jun 2022 #54
I try to make it a habit to be termperate in my online posts MissMillie Jun 2022 #15
That makes you a nicer person than I am. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #18
It's not a contest MissMillie Jun 2022 #22
I believe you. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #28
When TFG dies Bettie Jun 2022 #25
OK... but MissMillie Jun 2022 #29
This one would work for me csziggy Jun 2022 #36
That's the plan, Miss Millie Bettie Jun 2022 #51
Yes. nt 2 Meow Momma Jun 2022 #30
Yes, absolutely. I've written out several posts Totally Tunsie Jun 2022 #32
I understand completely. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #33
Absolutely, yes, I am monitoring what I say. Irish_Dem Jun 2022 #34
Thank you! Solly Mack Jun 2022 #35
Yes mnhtnbb Jun 2022 #37
I go from a low simmer to a keen sadness, then into full rage. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #40
You made me laugh! mnhtnbb Jun 2022 #49
I've been fighting the urge all day to write e-mails to Totally Tunsie Jun 2022 #38
Oh, wow. I am so sorry. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #41
Well, I started only one thread with the word "fuck" yesterday, so I guess highplainsdem Jun 2022 #39
Heh! Yes, that counts. :) Solly Mack Jun 2022 #42
No Novara Jun 2022 #45
Excellent! Thank you. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #46
I am pretty much speechless as to where this country is/has headed. boston bean Jun 2022 #47
Even though we knew it was coming, it was still a gut punch. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #52
Yes, and no... electric_blue68 Jun 2022 #48
I like that meme. Thanks! Solly Mack Jun 2022 #53
YW. I really laughed bc it was perfect Gallows Humour. Absolutely piercing as this hideous... electric_blue68 Jun 2022 #59
no Skittles Jun 2022 #55
In real life, I don't. Solly Mack Jun 2022 #56
absolutely been censoring myself orleans Jun 2022 #57
I'm not the least bit convinced that everyone could withstand the blistering anger women are Solly Mack Jun 2022 #58
i have about 25 fb friends orleans Jun 2022 #60
Not yet MustLoveBeagles Jun 2022 #61
Nope! Lady Freedom Returns Jun 2022 #62

BlueGreenLady

(2,823 posts)
1. Yes
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:19 PM
Jun 2022

and also I'm isolating more than usual. I avoid contact with known "churchy" people because I don't want to have a to be parsing my words when around them. Wish I was in a position to move to a more liberal area but I'm retired and would have a hard time finding a cheaper area to live. Will have to stand and defend Democracy from here.

Freddie

(9,231 posts)
3. No
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:23 PM
Jun 2022

I’ve invited anyone celebrating yesterdays ruling to please unfriend me. I am livid. So are my friends and family.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
4. I don't belong to any forum where I'd need to do that but if I did, I'd invite them to fuck off too.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:24 PM
Jun 2022

KarenS

(4,024 posts)
5. yes,,,, definitely,,,,
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:27 PM
Jun 2022

I just posted that I live in a red area,,,, and I choose not to say what I really think bec I have heart issues and cannot afford to get outraged,,,,

I am beside myself today but cannot really say what I am thinking bec it is not politically correct on any level.

on edit: Husband and I are looking for some orgs to support that aid with transportation and rooms to travel,,,,,

KarenS

(4,024 posts)
20. I know, trying to take care of me,,,, Thank you.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:06 PM
Jun 2022

I wish I was younger and healthier,,,,, but money will have to do.

Nevilledog

(50,676 posts)
6. I've been quiet.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:33 PM
Jun 2022

I think that scares my husband more than if I was screaming at the top of my lungs.

I have the feeling that if I start saying out loud what I'm thinking, I'll never stop.


Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
13. Thought about creating a Sims family bearing certain names and then
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:57 PM
Jun 2022

building a house with no windows, one door. Then removing the door. Just an empty room, really.

Then watch them die.

Nevilledog

(50,676 posts)
19. Alrighty then....
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:05 PM
Jun 2022

That got an evil chuckle.


*reminder to self* Really, really don't piss of Solly.




Be sure and make it a big room, don't wanna leave anyone out.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
26. I'll do it in groups. Too many and I might miss the actual moment of death.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:14 PM
Jun 2022

One day I'll tell you about my dull razor and turpentine behavioral modification hypothesis. It involves visual stimuli so it's not all low tech.

electric_blue68

(14,598 posts)
43. Oh, heh! Had an on line friend on a different site that ran a Sims...
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 06:07 PM
Jun 2022

game for us. We had a great time

Or a rare occasion some poor sim died.

I can aboslutely see why you"d want to do that!

IF you do you're gonna hafta post screenshots! 😄


Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
44. lol! on the screenshots. I can almost imagine the varying reactions that would get. lololol
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 06:17 PM
Jun 2022

I did it when Shrub was in office. No screenshots though. Just finding my happy place. Might be time to do it again. Stopped playing for a long while.

RobinA

(9,878 posts)
10. Nope, Sorry
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:47 PM
Jun 2022

This has been coming for 42 years. I feel like the other shoe has finally dropped. I have some hope that it will sort itself out eventually, but I'm not holding my breath. Do I feel like smashing somebody's face in? Yup, but I' pretty used to that these days.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
16. Everyone that has worked with and for abortion rights has been expecting this day to come
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:02 PM
Jun 2022

but it was still a gut punch.

Yeah, punching faces is a thought that has crossed my mind a lot over the last decade or so. It has gotten worse.





Bettie

(15,998 posts)
12. Sometimes
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 12:52 PM
Jun 2022

I guess it's actually yes, because I'm tempering my language so as not to sound offensive.

But, honestly, my answer to the "oh think about the babies!" is "FUCK OFF with that shit."

Bettie

(15,998 posts)
24. I did tell a woman on Facebook today to
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:11 PM
Jun 2022

keep her Fetus Fetishizing to herself and let others take care of their own bodies.

It was not well-received. Apparently, I am a "murderous evil bitch" and will "burn in hell".

Might be a threat if I believed in hell.

MissMillie

(38,452 posts)
15. I try to make it a habit to be termperate in my online posts
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:00 PM
Jun 2022

I do speak my mind. But I never wish illness or death to people, and I don't grave-dance.

Do I hurl insults at GQPers? Yep.

MissMillie

(38,452 posts)
22. It's not a contest
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:10 PM
Jun 2022

And trust me, I wouldn't win any prizes anyway.

It's about trying to honor my mom's memory. It's kind of a long story.

Believe me, there's a lot of mean and nasty stuff that goes on in my head when stuff like this happens.

Totally Tunsie

(10,885 posts)
32. Yes, absolutely. I've written out several posts
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:34 PM
Jun 2022

and have deleted them all before pushing the final key. My anger is too close to the surface today and once I get started, my posts become diatribes that need to be tempered. Better off being a reader/learner right now.

Irish_Dem

(45,625 posts)
34. Absolutely, yes, I am monitoring what I say.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 01:47 PM
Jun 2022

I think women are angry and many are being triggered due to past abuse and control issues at the hands of males.

And some men are telling us how to act, think and feel about Roe.
This is not going over well.

mnhtnbb

(31,319 posts)
37. Yes
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 02:12 PM
Jun 2022

I am so full of unexpressed rage and anger that my chest started to feel tight several hours ago. As soon as it did, I got off the internet, took deep breaths, then went outside to watch hummingbirds come to my feeders. The chest tightness went away.

There is no one here to whom I can rage, so I bottle it up or vent online. But I soon have to back away, or I'll be having visits from Agent Mike.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
40. I go from a low simmer to a keen sadness, then into full rage.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 05:56 PM
Jun 2022

And it's been that way for the last 24 hours.

I've been cleaning to release some energy. I had to stop myself when I realized I was cleaning an already cleaned twice-in-one day bathroom. It did sparkle though. Still does. lol

Totally Tunsie

(10,885 posts)
38. I've been fighting the urge all day to write e-mails to
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 02:24 PM
Jun 2022

two former friends who I jettisoned during Chump's administration, basically saying "YOU DID THIS!!!" Their votes for the orange bastard brought us to where we are today, and I can never forgive them for that.

I'm not talking casual friends here: For one, I was work buddy, Maid of Honor, and ultimately Godmother to her kids. This one, in particular, stuns me, especially since her third son is a gay, married, small business owner whose own protections will be one of the next targets in the SC's line of fire...and I'll bet she'll be crying over the "unfairness of it all" when it actually happens, blaming Biden b/c it's during his term, and not seeing her vote's connection to the outcome. We were BFFs for over 55 years, until the tRump division made that no longer possible. Another example of ETTD.

I need to back away from the keyboard and then have one of those pressure cooker safety valves implanted in my head to slowly release the steam today before there's an explosion of emotion.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
41. Oh, wow. I am so sorry.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 06:00 PM
Jun 2022

The anger on top of all the hurt knowing longtime friends could be so radically influenced.

You describe it perfectly. A need for a pressure valve to slowly release the steam building up.

Novara

(5,754 posts)
45. No
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 06:28 PM
Jun 2022

I have a drawer full of feminist t-shirts and I'm wearing them and silently daring people to just MENTION women's rights.

So far my friends know I'll go off so few of them have said anything. I have received some knowing nods from other women who have acknowledged my Gloria Steinem/Dorothy Pitman Hughes t-shirt today.

I don't give a shit that I live in a blue city surrounded by red areas. Why the fuck should I censor my rage? My country just told me I am not a full human being with full rights to my very own body. I will not censor my rage.

boston bean

(36,186 posts)
47. I am pretty much speechless as to where this country is/has headed.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 06:34 PM
Jun 2022

It all feels like we are in the middle to end part of a dystopian novel and you know the ending coming is not going to be pleasant and the good guys really might not win.

I am sure I will pop out of this funk and fight on for another day, month, year, decade.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
52. Even though we knew it was coming, it was still a gut punch.
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 11:28 PM
Jun 2022

People need time to grieve and then they will fight again.

It's hard to come to terms with just how little your rights matter to others.

electric_blue68

(14,598 posts)
48. Yes, and no...
Sat Jun 25, 2022, 06:38 PM
Jun 2022

I'm pretty sure I've used some curse words here so there's that.
Though sometimes using a close stand-in for a curse feels satisfying, too, as though you know I'm "holding back".

On FB I used a string of the symbols that signify cursing in a post along with the spellings of sounds of frustration, and anger.
And replying back and forth with other friends, and acquaintances.
I've got a liberal long time friend with a 36 yes old daughter in Texas. ( )

I haven't talked on the phone to anyone yet probably tonight though some are not available right now.

Also bc I'm in a rather challenging situation my attention is a bit diverted.
We knew it was coming but now that it's here - it's
Effin' SURREAL! If I wasn't living temporarily with a roommate I'd probably be occasionally yelling out loud.
I might be pounding a pillow, too.
Shock still, sorrow, and the intermittent rage is skulking around in between focusing on other things whether errands, fun etc.

My favorite Meme that's appeared so far - I posted in my FB post has an old fashion B&W TV test pattern words over it that say:


We Are Experiencing
Temporary

Incoherent Rage

Please Stand By


(OMG - perfect 😂 😂 😂 🤪 😭 🤬🤬🤬 )


electric_blue68

(14,598 posts)
59. YW. I really laughed bc it was perfect Gallows Humour. Absolutely piercing as this hideous...
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 01:20 AM
Jun 2022

event warranted.

Solly Mack

(90,740 posts)
58. I'm not the least bit convinced that everyone could withstand the blistering anger women are
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 12:17 AM
Jun 2022

feeling right now.

Instead of listening, they would go on the defensive. Or worse, become patronizing and start to explain our anger to us.

orleans

(33,986 posts)
60. i have about 25 fb friends
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 03:22 AM
Jun 2022

and while all of them are open minded/liberal dems a lot of them don't like to post about politics because of their other friends & family members. so while i've seen a few of them posting on roe (and i have too), i know they're holding back like i am.

i have a hot temper and the ability to be extremely crass (not to mention the special way i have with profanity) and i care about them enuf to want to protect them from my venting.



Lady Freedom Returns

(14,120 posts)
62. Nope!
Sun Jun 26, 2022, 04:10 AM
Jun 2022

I'm screaming at yelling.

I have never been quite. I've been through hell and back , so the flames don't bother me anyway.

I grew up in a blood red corner of a red state. I have been screaming about injustices of conservativism since before I could vote. It's in my blood to fight injustice and stupidity.

Won't stay quite online or off.

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