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cab67

(2,962 posts)
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 05:41 PM Aug 2022

Starting college? Your kid is starting college? Some unrequested advice from a professor.

Classes are starting up across the country. I've posted some of this before, but I've been told (perhaps falsely) that it's useful, so here it is again:


As some of you know, I teach at a university. This includes a large-enrollment class for non-science majors in the fall and more advanced classes in the spring.

Being a first-year student is exhilarating! So many paths to choose! So many opportunities to make a real difference! So much freedom for self-assertion! So much to drink at after-game parties! You’re stepping forward not as adolesents, but as adults, and you’re taking more control over your personal time and direction.

But it can also be terrifying. You might be far from home for the first time. You might be the first member of your family to attend college. You might have been a stand-out in high school, but now you're surrounded by other stand-outs from other high schools. It's intimidating. You don't have Mom and/or Dad to keep your nose to the grindstone, and some aspects of being a college student - enrolling in classes, for example - are downright labyrinthine. And if you're a student of color or a member of the LGBTQ community, you'll be facing residual bigotry that lingers in spite of everything we're doing to combat it.

And there’s the cost. You may have already gone to buy your textbooks. It’s not like buying a few paperback novels. One can buy a functioning used car for the cost of a semester’s textbooks. Meals? Rent and utilities, if you’re not in a dorm? That’s all on you now.

You’ve probably been told that we professors don’t care about you. But you know what? We do. We really do. We wouldn’t be in this line of work if we didn’t. And we understand what you’re going through, because we’ve all been there, and times haven’t changed so much that we can’t help guide you through this massive transition.

In fact, seeing you through all of this is part of our job, and it’s a privilege to take it on.

Thus, I’ve compiled some advice over the past few years that might help you as you get ready to dive in:

1. Be careful with assumptions, and always ask before acting. Exceptions can't always be made.

During the pandemic, I would get emails from incoming students to confirm that the lectures for my class were being recorded. I always responded that although my lectures were on-line (which I hated), they weren’t pre-recorded. They were “synchronous,” meaning one had to watch the lecture at the scheduled time, just as if they were attending the lecture in an auditorium

This would be followed by a request for accommodation because the student had another commitment when lecture was scheduled to take place.

In other words, the student had enrolled in a course they couldn’t actually attend, and they wanted me to change my procedures to match their faulty assumption.

I've encountered all kinds of bad assumptions. You can take a quiz late, even though I said there wouldn't be make-ups? That we’ll always accommodate requests for a makeup (see below)? That the exam will look exactly as you imagined? Bad assumptions. And so it goes.

My ex used to teach a lab that met on Fridays at 4:30. There were quizzes every week. During the first week of class, she had to tell her students that "My parents already paid for the plane ticket " would not be accepted as a reason to miss lab on the Friday before Thanksgiving break.
Not sure whether something will be allowed? Unsure if you’re facing a situation that calls for an exception to course policy? Please, for the love of whatever deities may or may not exist – ask! We’d rather work with you before something happens than after.

“It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission” is a nice quip, but it’s false.


2. Keep your life as simple as possible.

Extracurricular activities expand your horizons and can help you find a community far from home. They can be of tremendous benefit to your mental health. It is, however, easy to get roped in too deeply, especially when you’re just starting out. Overloading yourself with such things reduces the amount of time you have for your homework and studying.

This is why I encourage on-campus living when it's available for first-year students. It keeps life simple.

I'm not saying one should live a monastic existence and ignore the rest of the world. But you'll still be getting your footing during your first year, so don't overdo it.


3. Save everything.

I once had a student approach me after classes were over, wondering why she got a C in my class. She was sure she'd be in solid B range. I pointed out that her final exam and one of her midterms were indeed in the 80's, but her other midterm was a 38. That, I explained, dragged her grade down. "But I didn't get a 38," she replied, "I got an 83!" She showed me her exam, and sure enough, she did. The moron (most likely me) who entered the grades into the spreadsheet typed them in backward. It happens, and mistakes like this are easily corrected - and this is made easier if you can show your professor what you actually got.

Seriously - treat your homework assignments, quizzes, exams, and whatnot like receipts.


4. Keep your family posted about your classroom commitments.

If someone's planning a family event, it wouldn't hurt if they knew when your exams are scheduled. As detailed below, we cannot always make scheduling accommodations.


5. Always contact an instructor before missing something. Always get some sort of proof for the reason. And bear in mind – we can’t accommodate everything.

Here are some things we can accommodate: illness (psychiatric/mental or physical); family emergencies (funerals or sudden very severe medical incidents or accidents); court date or jury duty; family event planned long in advance (e.g. wedding), provided we're notified well before the exam; job interview; transportation problems (e.g. missed bus, car broke down); conflicting institution-related event (e.g. sports, marching band, ROTC, or a required field trip for another class); computer problems (if the exam is online); work schedule conflict (though if it happens frequently, it might be good to take a different class or get a different job).

Here are some things we generally either can't or won't: oversleeping; routine as opposed to milestone family event (e.g. I'll accommodate you for your grandmother's 100th birthday party, but not your cousin's 8th); you missed a bunch of class, but haven't made an effort to speak to me or borrow someone's notes until minutes before or some time after the exam; not feeling ready and wanting extra time; travel preference (e.g. wanting to take a test early because it's scheduled late in finals week or right before Thanksgiving/Spring break and you want to get out of town).

Bottom line - we accommodate need, not convenience.

Getting a doctor's note for an illness is easy enough, but it should be possible to document pretty much any good reason to miss class - including a funeral. I, for one, would never ask for documentation for a funeral, but I know professors who do - and generally, it's not all that hard to get. If you can't bring in an obituary, most funeral homes and houses of worship are willing to provide a letter acknowledging your presence at a funeral service at their facility. (These used to be necessary when airlines offered lower "bereavement" rates for last-minute travel.)

And before I'm attacked for being hard-ass, please bear in mind - arranging a make-up exam really is an imposition. On our campus, instructors are responsible for scheduling exams for students who need an accommodation, such as extended time or a low-distraction environment, for a learning disability – and 5 or 10 percent of the class may fall in this category. For a class of 200, that's 10 or 20 students who need accommodation. And that's on top of those who were bridesmaids, got sick, or had a family emergency. Every request for a makeup is a request to find a 1 or 2 hour slot that works for your busy schedule as well as mine, and depending on circumstances, it might require finding a time that hasn’t already been taken by another student wanting an accommodation. If you actually need the accommodation, no problem – that’s my job and responsibility. If it’s for a non-essential reason, you’ll have to make a strong case.


6. Get to know your instructors.

This is arguably more important later in your college career, but it doesn't hurt stop by during office hours. That's what they're for.

This is good not only because you'll understand the material better by asking questions early and often, but because it helps us get to know you. Believe me - it's a lot easier to write a letter of recommendation if I know something about the student beyond his or her exam scores.

Students who come to know their professors tend to be asked to participate in research or creative projects. That looks really good on your resume, and it makes you better at what you do anyway. It also reduces feelings of isolation. We professors are no longer the terrifying, impersonal authorities who look down on our students - we're people.


7. Know when to pull back.

Life happens.

A lot of students encounter mental or emotional problems they may not have anticipated, or the problems they already have might be exacerbated. You might feel isolated on campus. You might be overwhelmed with difficult classes. You may be trying to balance your classes with a job or the needs of a small child. Your financial situation may change. You, or a loved one, may be facing a very serious physical illness that requires much of your attention.

Sometimes, the best solution is to cut back on your classes. Staying in for the sake of completing the semester might be counterproductive if you fail everything. Do you want to graduate on time, or with a respectable GPA? Sometimes, these are mutually incompatible.

I'm not saying you should just drop out of school when things get tough. It's always going to be difficult. Besides, dropping below a certain number of credit hours can jeopardize your financial aid. But in consultation with academic advisors and perhaps a mental health professional, dropping one or two courses might not always be a bad idea.


8. Know when to ask for help, and find out where it can be found.

We get it. All of us were students, and many of us needed help at times. That includes me.

There is no dishonor in asking for help, and there are places to find it. Most campuses have some sort of student counseling center - that, or they'll have resources to help you find a professional counselor. They're not there as window dressing - they're there because people need them.

Creating a sense of belonging can go a long way toward alleviating some of the pressure and stress of being a first-year college student. This is why I advise against overdoing it with extracurricular activities - not against avoiding them altogether.

This was especially true during the pandemic. Usually, out of a group of 200, I’ll get one or two reaching out to tell me they've missed some assignments because they're having a rough time. In 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, the presidential election, and social unrest, it was more like 15 or 20 of them. Some were students of color who felt the pressure of racism like never before. Others were failing to thrive academically in the on-line system imposed on us by the pandemic. It was bad.

Always bear this in mind: we’ve been there. And even if was in past decades, things haven't changed so much that we cannot understand your situation. In fact, we've been front-and-center in the decisions that made things different. So we still get it.

Personally, as a white, cis-gender, heterosexual, nominally Christian male who’s never been the victim of a serious crime, there are some issues I can’t address with any real authority – but others on campus can. Some of us are sexual assault survivors, or have experienced racism or bigotry in some form. Others, myself included, know what it means to live with poverty or food insecurity. We’ve been through major relationship breakups. We’ve lived through serious illnesses and injuries. We’ve cared for chronically ill relatives and had loved ones die unexpectedly. We know what these do to a person. We’re as human as you are, and we can listen. We can advise, or we can tell you who can.

As I said previously – we do this because it’s who we are. We embrace the whole of the academic profession, and that includes mentorship of our students. We take our jobs as a matter of pride, and if one of our students is struggling, we want to know so we can help.

Seriously – ask us. We’ll tell you.

And all the best for your new adventure. It’s intimidating, but having been through it, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.


25 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
Starting college? Your kid is starting college? Some unrequested advice from a professor. (Original Post) cab67 Aug 2022 OP
I applaud you, for taking the time to write all of this, secondwind Aug 2022 #1
We had a load of international students show up for orientation this week. Gore1FL Aug 2022 #2
Can I chime in as a former student? Ponietz Aug 2022 #3
Wish I had read this 50 years ago when I attended college leftieNanner Aug 2022 #4
Excellent advice! Ocelot II Aug 2022 #5
My son starts college this time next year. MontanaMama Aug 2022 #6
I wish I had this list when I started at Hobart College geardaddy Aug 2022 #7
Thank you so much!! Great info to share Evolve Dammit Aug 2022 #8
This message was self-deleted by its author Baked Potato Aug 2022 #9
When I taught at NYU... brooklynite Aug 2022 #10
And on behalf of my friend, the small college professor gratuitous Aug 2022 #11
The syllabus is a legal contract. There is legal precedent for this, in the courts. Coventina Aug 2022 #14
I'm embarrassed to have left this off. cab67 Aug 2022 #16
My friend posts at least a couple of times every term gratuitous Aug 2022 #25
I failed to do #4 the fall semester of my junior year. beaglelover Aug 2022 #12
All good advice. Mine is... SYFROYH Aug 2022 #13
5.1. Refrain from over-drinking for 1st 5 weeks of any given semester. PdamnedQ Aug 2022 #24
What a wonderful article mgardener Aug 2022 #15
Great advice! Doc Sportello Aug 2022 #17
I'll add one: Slammer Aug 2022 #18
A relative of mine aced 4 years of what i consider to be basket weaving. Tetrachloride Aug 2022 #19
College life is not quite the same Puppyjive Aug 2022 #20
One more from a professor's spouse. TomSlick Aug 2022 #21
I became affiliated with an educational institution Tetrachloride Aug 2022 #22
Great advice! Thank you. yardwork Aug 2022 #23

secondwind

(16,903 posts)
1. I applaud you, for taking the time to write all of this,
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 05:56 PM
Aug 2022

for giving extra tips and suggestions, etc.

You must be an awesome teacher….

Gore1FL

(21,030 posts)
2. We had a load of international students show up for orientation this week.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 06:06 PM
Aug 2022

Their enrollment is 40% higher than expected. I hope the rest follow suit. It's nice to have students in classes.

I don't know how I feel about so many people being on campus (and mostly unmasked) but it has felt so empty for the past couple of years.

Ponietz

(2,904 posts)
3. Can I chime in as a former student?
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 06:33 PM
Aug 2022

Cab67’s 6th point, get to know your instructors, is the most important. I learned to use office hours early during the semester and asking point blank what I had to do to earn an A and it gave me an edge. Very few other students ever visited.

Thank you.

leftieNanner

(14,997 posts)
4. Wish I had read this 50 years ago when I attended college
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 06:38 PM
Aug 2022

I have a lot of regrets in that regard.

Thank you for posting.

Ocelot II

(115,270 posts)
5. Excellent advice!
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 06:38 PM
Aug 2022

For a number of years I was an adjunct instructor at a local state university. Most of my students were adults who were going to college after some years in the work force or were completing an unfinished four-year degree, so they had jobs, sometimes families - which meant that they were already used to work, personal problems and coping with life in general. A smaller number were more recent high school graduates who needed more hand-holding. But one issue that came up occasionally, both among the young ones and the older ones, was what was meant by plagiarism. I required papers in my courses and tried to make it very clear at the beginning that plagiarism just wasn't on. I explained in my first handout, along with course requirements and attendance and grading standards, that plagiarism consisted of any unattributed copying of written material (quote marks and citation to the source), and that the penalty would be no credit for the paper, possibly meaning a failing grade for the course. I also emphasized that I would definitely recognize it, so don't even try. Nevertheless, it did happen a few times - wholesale copying of paragraphs from Wikipedia, for example (even though I discouraged the use of Wiki as a primary source). On one occasion, where it wasn't extensive, I gave the student a chance to rewrite the paper and take a hit on the grade. On another occasion I immediately recognized that almost the whole thing was copied from a source I found quickly, and I was less merciful. Other faculty had similar experiences - it seems like some students are either lazy, dishonest, or they get jammed up on their assignments and copy stuff as a shortcut. It's so easy to spot, though. Most undergrads don't write well enough to pull it off.

MontanaMama

(23,238 posts)
6. My son starts college this time next year.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 06:55 PM
Aug 2022

I’m bookmarking this for me to read and share with him. Thank you!

geardaddy

(24,924 posts)
7. I wish I had this list when I started at Hobart College
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 06:57 PM
Aug 2022

in the Fall of 1983!

What a great list of advice! Thanks for posting!

Response to cab67 (Original post)

brooklynite

(93,847 posts)
10. When I taught at NYU...
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:08 PM
Aug 2022

I offered advising hours, especially with respect to the two term papers due. Almost nobody took me up on the offer.

gratuitous

(82,849 posts)
11. And on behalf of my friend, the small college professor
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:08 PM
Aug 2022

Read. The. Syllabus.

That thing is chock full of information, and your instructors expect you to read it and know what's in it. The syllabus can help distinguish between the difference between "need" and "accommodation."

Coventina

(26,846 posts)
14. The syllabus is a legal contract. There is legal precedent for this, in the courts.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:30 PM
Aug 2022

Read it carefully, it is the contract that the professor is handing to you.
Receiving it means acceptance.

I spend a lot of time writing my syllabi for that very reason.


READ THE SYLLABUS!!!!

cab67

(2,962 posts)
16. I'm embarrassed to have left this off.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:37 PM
Aug 2022

The syllabus will answer almost any question you have about a course right at the outset.


thank you!

gratuitous

(82,849 posts)
25. My friend posts at least a couple of times every term
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 08:42 PM
Aug 2022

Students claiming they didn't know about this assignment or that deadline. He's very definite about the syllabus, and even some good students totally miss things that are in it.

beaglelover

(3,439 posts)
12. I failed to do #4 the fall semester of my junior year.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:12 PM
Aug 2022

It was a pre-law class and on the first day of class we were told the final was on a Saturday (he gave the exact date) in December and if that was a problem to drop the class now. At that point in time there was no problem. Then my sister got engaged and her wedding was on that day in December. I had to miss my sister's wedding. Oh well. I think I got an 'A' in that class.

SYFROYH

(34,127 posts)
13. All good advice. Mine is...
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:25 PM
Aug 2022


…..
1. Read the syllabus
2. Read the assigned readings
3. Talk about the subject matter with fellow students
4. Go to class
5. Sleep well and eat well.
 

PdamnedQ

(168 posts)
24. 5.1. Refrain from over-drinking for 1st 5 weeks of any given semester.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 08:39 PM
Aug 2022

Statistically the grade you have by week 5 will probably be the grade you'll fight to keep for the rest of the semester. So, don't cut yourself off at the knees trying to keep up with the very few that can drink battery acid and maintain decent grades at the same time.

I hold a masters degree now, but I'm not sure that I would have as well as I eventually did had I not been a freshman dormitory custodian for 5 years. I saw a lot of nice kids go home early because they could not maintain their "Rock'n Roll Lifestyle."

Doc Sportello

(7,454 posts)
17. Great advice!
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:40 PM
Aug 2022

As someone who earned two degrees and taught as a teaching assistant, I would recommend this to incoming students or to those who know someone who is at this point. I agree with the other poster who said No. 6 is most important. I only had one student who came to see me during office hours, and she was my best student. I had another who didn't show up for the mid-term or finale and didn't turn in most of her assignments but came to me at semester's end wanting to make it all up. Told her that wouldn't be fair to the other students, or to me for that matter. I did feel sort of sorry for her but another student with a helicopter mother tried to make my life hell because she wanted me to change her daughter's grade from a B to an A. Luckily, the faculty member backed me up.

Slammer

(714 posts)
18. I'll add one:
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:41 PM
Aug 2022

Go to the appropriate college.

Yeah, your parents might be able to get you into a prestigious school (or you get in some other way like them needing to fill a quota of people from impoverished backgrounds to make themselves look good).

But if you can't do the coursework, you're better off going to "lesser" college, or a community college, and getting yourself up to par academically than going immediately to a prestigious school where you're going to struggle, rack up big bills, then have to drop out due to bad grades.

Most jobs want you to have a degree and want you to be able to do a job and don't really care about the name of the college except for reading in on the resume in passing.

Sure, there's exceptions to that like if you want to go on to get into a prestigious law/medical school. But those exceptions don't apply to most people at most jobs.

Tetrachloride

(7,721 posts)
19. A relative of mine aced 4 years of what i consider to be basket weaving.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:44 PM
Aug 2022

I don’t think they’ll amount to much of anything in their profession.

As for myself, once upon a time I estimated a strong 20 percent of my time was a waste. I’d revise that percentage upwards.

None of those professors back in the 1980s talked on environmental issues, the Third World, the many kinds of civil rights.

The pivotal instructors were across a wide range of disciplines. There weren’t many.

I was able to see the Dalai Lama in his early days of joining the talk circuit.

The instructors with good office hours were the ones i admire.

One professor had more time with students than all but one of the other instructors put together in my corner of the campus.

Later, I became a tutor. My dozen students were grateful. Cognitively, I knew some of the blocks they were having. They got through those classes well. One joined the NFL. Another worked in Kenya.

Puppyjive

(484 posts)
20. College life is not quite the same
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 07:56 PM
Aug 2022

My son started attending our local university a couple of years ago. Covid has robbed these young people of so much interaction. I hope this year will be different and they no longer have to hide behind the veil (mask).

TomSlick

(11,032 posts)
21. One more from a professor's spouse.
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 08:04 PM
Aug 2022

Remember the professors are neither your employees nor pals. Be respectful in all communications, including e-mails and other electronic messages.

Ask for answers to questions or request. Do not demand or assume the professor will grant requests.

Don't expect immediate responses to e-mails - especially those sent at odd hours or on weekends.

You are only on a first name basis only if the professor invites it. They are Mr., Ms., Professor, or Doctor Smith - not John or Jane.

The professor may not complain, other than to their spouse, but disrespectful behavior cannot be helpful.

Tetrachloride

(7,721 posts)
22. I became affiliated with an educational institution
Thu Aug 18, 2022, 08:29 PM
Aug 2022

I was the first to introduce awareness of AIDS / HIV. A teacher said she had never seen the students so attentive.

Later the administration brought in medical professional for a yearly lecture.

I also made a report to staff on what appeared to be sexual harassment to 2 students.

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