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Cary

(11,746 posts)
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:15 AM Sep 2014

What is the best way to handle someone who, on the internet, insists upon...

... turning every discussion with you into some personal attack against you?

I suppose the best answer is to ignore them but maybe someone has a better idea?

25 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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What is the best way to handle someone who, on the internet, insists upon... (Original Post) Cary Sep 2014 OP
a polite "Go fuck yourself" and never respond to them again works for me. hobbit709 Sep 2014 #1
If it's just you, then probably yeah. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Sep 2014 #2
Clueless as to ad hominem Cary Sep 2014 #3
Things Grandpa used to say............ Flo Mingo Sep 2014 #4
"Ignore" works for me! femmocrat Sep 2014 #5
The first step is to not turn discussions into personal attacks of others gollygee Sep 2014 #6
You assume I'm referring to someone here Cary Sep 2014 #8
Do you behave differently elsewhere on the internet? gollygee Sep 2014 #9
Ha! Cary Sep 2014 #11
No, however that's another ad hominem attack. gollygee Sep 2014 #13
This message was self-deleted by its author woo me with science Sep 2014 #14
ok Cary Sep 2014 #15
Note: I'm not conceding your point here Cary Sep 2014 #17
Do you have a personal relationships with this person? IdaBriggs Sep 2014 #7
This person is a complete anonymous stranger Cary Sep 2014 #10
Stick to the topic they are trying to distract you from talking about. Don't address their sabrina 1 Sep 2014 #12
That is true if my goal is to debate substance Cary Sep 2014 #16
They are not worth talking to. But those reading are. You can either use them as a tool sabrina 1 Sep 2014 #24
Usually I just tend to not take them seriously. Xyzse Sep 2014 #18
you will never get them to realize what they are doing and stop it and be civil. librechik Sep 2014 #19
I know that and appreciate it, which is why my goal is not civility Cary Sep 2014 #20
Look at this: new study finds internet trolls really are horrible people librechik Sep 2014 #21
Perhaps Cary Sep 2014 #22
The internet does not exclude the mentally ill or sociopaths. closeupready Sep 2014 #23
First, Examine your own words ismnotwasm Sep 2014 #25

Erich Bloodaxe BSN

(14,733 posts)
2. If it's just you, then probably yeah.
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:19 AM
Sep 2014

Simply tell them why you're going to ignore them and then do so. Either they're deliberately trolling, in which case there's not much more you can do that's better for your own piece of mind, or they're simply clueless about their own reliance on ad hominem attacks, and if enough people tell them that's why they're getting ignored, maybe they'll finally get a clue.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
3. Clueless as to ad hominem
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:23 AM
Sep 2014

And of course he claims that I don't understand what an ad hominem is. They always try that
ploy along with "you never support your conclusions" and "you add nothing" and "how come when you attack me for attacking you it isn't an ad hominem" and so on blah blah.

Flo Mingo

(492 posts)
4. Things Grandpa used to say............
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:30 AM
Sep 2014

Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty but the pig likes it.

gollygee

(22,336 posts)
6. The first step is to not turn discussions into personal attacks of others
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:42 AM
Sep 2014

and I searched to find out context and saw you use words like "jerk" and "fool" to people and ask if someone was 12 years old.

gollygee

(22,336 posts)
9. Do you behave differently elsewhere on the internet?
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:50 AM
Sep 2014

I wasn't assuming it was here, just that your posting style here was likely at least similar to your posting style in general.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
11. Ha!
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:53 AM
Sep 2014

This is the internet. I have been doing this a long time. It is entertainment.

Are you making an ego play here? Kind of seems like it.

gollygee

(22,336 posts)
13. No, however that's another ad hominem attack.
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:55 AM
Sep 2014

I think this whole thread is an ego play, or mabye belongs in the lounge.

Response to gollygee (Reply #13)

Cary

(11,746 posts)
17. Note: I'm not conceding your point here
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 10:43 AM
Sep 2014

I'm simply not taking your bait. In this thread I actually am interested in substance as I generally am here at DU.

And by the way, gollygee, the person whom I am actually referring to could be considered a racist. He denies it, but most really good racists do.

 

IdaBriggs

(10,559 posts)
7. Do you have a personal relationships with this person?
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:45 AM
Sep 2014

Do they behave this way "in real life" or just on the internet?

If it is just on the internet, cease engaging so you can *keep* that relationship. Some people can actually discuss issues, while others mistake personal attacks and insults for civilized discourse.

If you enjoy suffering the attention of idiots (and let's face it - the absolute definition of a Democrat usually involves talking to Republicans as if they were actually *trying* to help make the world a better place), then continue to engage, and come here to whine/decompress about it.

We're here for you.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
10. This person is a complete anonymous stranger
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:51 AM
Sep 2014

Totally meaningless. I will not lose a wink of sleep over this person, regardless.

I get little substance from the board this man posts on. I am much more interested in the sociology, the interactions of the posters. This particular person is a hybrid. He always splits the baby.

I'm really more interested in the learning experience.

sabrina 1

(62,325 posts)
12. Stick to the topic they are trying to distract you from talking about. Don't address their
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 09:54 AM
Sep 2014

attacks, but use them to keep on making your point. Each time they attack you personally, respond with your point on the topic.

Eg, if you are in a discussion with a Bush supporter regarding the Iraq War.

You say: 'the Iraq War was a total failure and we were lied to by the Bush gang of War Criminals' to get us into it. They should all be prosecuted for treason'.

Your opponent responds with: 'Lieberals like you are traitors and cowards who blame America first for everything, you are Saddam Lovers, Putin Lovers and should be thrown out of this country'.

Your response: Bush and Cheney lied to the American people, they are responsible for the deaths of over 6,000 American troops, the murder of over one million innocent Iraqis and the violation of the Geneva Conventions on Torture. All war crimes which one day they will be held accountable for hopefully.


Hopefully your opponent will respond AGAIN, providing you with yet another opportunity to repeat your points over and over again. Naturally s/he will not discuss the FACTS, they will continue to try to insult you. It doesn't matter, even a moron can be useful.

But the one thing NOT to do is to respond to any personal attacks, that is what they want, to stop you from speaking the truth baiting you on a personal level. Ignore that and keep on repeating your point.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
16. That is true if my goal is to debate substance
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 10:01 AM
Sep 2014

The problem is that they have no substance. These are people who believe only what their gut tells them and they dismiss substance so debating substance is pointless. They are anti-intellectual.

sabrina 1

(62,325 posts)
24. They are not worth talking to. But those reading are. You can either use them as a tool
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 12:29 PM
Sep 2014

to inform those reading, or let them end the discussion. Why talk TO them, why not do exactly what they are trying to stop you from doing?

I love it when morons launch their stupid personal attacks. Considering the sources, who cares what they have to say, but letting them end a discussion is what they want. Using them to talk to others frustrates them beyond belief. If that even matters.

Anyhow, after more than a dozen years of experience with the personal attack tactic, it barely even read them anymore, since they are predictable, but do use them whenever possible.

librechik

(30,663 posts)
19. you will never get them to realize what they are doing and stop it and be civil.
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 10:49 AM
Sep 2014

Take it from one who knows. Just tell them you don't have conversations with psychotics, sign off and mean it.

You won't regret it.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
20. I know that and appreciate it, which is why my goal is not civility
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 11:47 AM
Sep 2014

That's a fine goal but as you said, not achievable.

I don't know if it's fair to call them psychotics. The ad hominem seems to be an integral part of the Ayn Rand thing. But, as you can see in this very thread, it happens here as well. They aren't being civil, that's for sure.

These people exist in real life and real time. Experience with them is useful if, for no other reason, simply to be able to identify the bait when someone dangles it. And too it is far safer to interact with sociopaths on an internet board.

In real life my understanding is that you never give a sociopath any inkling of vulnerability because they will use it against you. Always suck up, whenever possible. Keep dealings and connections to a minimum. There is no cure for a sociopath as treatment just makes them better sociopaths.

I don't think the particular person to whom I refer here is a sociopath. I don't even think he's a bad guy, he is just very thin-skinned. He is not "conservative." The racist thing in him is curious, and probably marginal. So like I said, I'm interested in learning the interaction part.

Oh, and I really don't want to fight with anyone but it happens. It is part of internetting. No one escapes it.

Cary

(11,746 posts)
22. Perhaps
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 12:27 PM
Sep 2014

It is too easy to lump everyone together and make generalizations.

Certain people have a certain agenda and they can get caught up in it. I see it here, too like the poster above and the one to whom he was referring on another thread. I have my own agenda at times. I am Jewish so obviously I am going to be pro-Israel. Some people, for some reason, don't want to allow me to have that particular point of view.

But we Jews are used to that. We've done rather well in spite of the fact that we have so many enemies. In fact it has been said that we would have killed ourselves off thousands of years ago had not everyone hated us.

Never mind that we were at the head of the civil rights marches.

 

closeupready

(29,503 posts)
23. The internet does not exclude the mentally ill or sociopaths.
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 12:29 PM
Sep 2014

So my approach to people who are on attack 24/7 is to just put them on ignore (for which most discussion boards have a provision). I'm not a psychiatrist nor a social worker, and that's not what I'm here for.

Hope that helps.

ismnotwasm

(41,921 posts)
25. First, Examine your own words
Tue Sep 23, 2014, 01:10 PM
Sep 2014

The Internet is famous for misunderstandings


Ask a benign open ended or reflective question to see if you get the same hostility, or an offer at conversation-- if there is no malicious intent, this often works.

If the hostility continues, ignore them. Life is too short.

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