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diabeticman

(3,121 posts)
Sat May 9, 2015, 08:01 PM May 2015

Escape from Duggarville: How playing the good Christian housewife almost killed me

http://www.rawstory.com/2014/09/escape-duggarville-good-christian-wife/

Vyckie Garrison was once a minor celebrity in the Quiverfull Movement, made famous by TV’s Duggar family. As a devout, Bible-believing Christian and the mother of seven homeschooled children, Garrison spent 16 years, with her husband, publishing a newspaper for families on a similar path. Today, via a website called No Longer Quivering, she publishes resources for women leaving the movement. Recently she addressed American Atheists about her experience. This article is an abridged version of her remarks.

(THIS STORY FIRST APPEARED AT ALTERNET.)


Whenever I talk about my escape from the Quiverfull movement, Christians immediately dismiss my experience by saying, “Your problem was not with Jesus or Christianity. Your problem was that you were following an extreme, legalistic cult. Let me tell you about my personal relationship with Jesus.” It can be extremely frustrating. I was in a close, personal relationship with Jesus for over 25 years. But rather than telling you about the beginning of my relationship with this man, I am going to spare you the long story and skip straight to the break up.

The end of my life as a “Bride of Christ” came after a visit to Bright Horizons, which is the local domestic violence shelter in my hometown of Norfolk, Nebraska. I went there for help in filing a restraining order against my husband, whose emotional and mental abuse against me and my children had escalated to the point that I was in the midst of a complete mental and physical breakdown. He had taken 6 of our 7 children to a town three hours from our home and was preventing me from having any contact with them unless I agreed to his terms for our “reconciliation.”
____________________________________________

Later the article goes on to give The Biblical Model Godly Homes.

21 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Escape from Duggarville: How playing the good Christian housewife almost killed me (Original Post) diabeticman May 2015 OP
K & R nt okaawhatever May 2015 #1
So many never escape, good for her.. AuntPatsy May 2015 #2
Shiver BrotherIvan May 2015 #3
My wife said it is... It is emotional and psychological abuse. diabeticman May 2015 #4
I read the article and had a very hard time following BrotherIvan May 2015 #7
Glad she made it out. DawgHouse May 2015 #5
Great read... awoke_in_2003 May 2015 #6
Don't miss her great blog..No Longer Qivering. madfloridian May 2015 #8
how can anyone watch/read the duggars stuff and think it's not creepy as hell? Doctor_J May 2015 #9
my mom thinks its swell. OH NO! the digger girl had a miscarriage. of course pansypoo53219 May 2015 #12
Good article - thanks MaggieD May 2015 #10
I really don't understand how so many of those calling themseves 1monster May 2015 #11
It's a cult within a cult. Initech May 2015 #13
. BlancheSplanchnik May 2015 #14
K&R People need to read about how women are abused in the name of religion. PeaceNikki May 2015 #15
Wow, this is the most powerful part to me; PeaceNikki May 2015 #16
Yeah. F4lconF16 May 2015 #17
The Duggar kids look like they walked off the set of Children of the Corn... n/t backscatter712 May 2015 #18
How can you have a "personal relationship" with someone who, if he ever even existed, hifiguy May 2015 #19
K&R Solly Mack May 2015 #20
Rec! progressoid May 2015 #21

BrotherIvan

(9,126 posts)
7. I read the article and had a very hard time following
Sat May 9, 2015, 10:08 PM
May 2015

But at least she came to that conclusion and got out. My other takeaway was confirming my suspicion that there are a lot more people in this "movement" (i.e. cult) than we think. They have a whole publishing network making materials for homeschooling and home church. It's actually quite frightening. I worked for someone once and he seemed to be able to function in the real world but then one day he came out with this long and rather well thought-out argument about how the world was only 6000 years old and his kids were all homeschooled by his submissive wife. This is in metro Los Angeles. We were all speechless. I met his children and they were very socially stunted. We all ended up quitting because of his craziness.

DawgHouse

(4,019 posts)
5. Glad she made it out.
Sat May 9, 2015, 09:44 PM
May 2015

I hope others will look at her story and learn from it.

The Power and Control Wheel is an excellent tool for insight into what is really going on.

 

awoke_in_2003

(34,582 posts)
6. Great read...
Sat May 9, 2015, 10:03 PM
May 2015

I used to work with one of these people. I hear he is recently divorced- his wife must have gotten tired of being pregnant and controlled all the time.

 

Doctor_J

(36,392 posts)
9. how can anyone watch/read the duggars stuff and think it's not creepy as hell?
Sat May 9, 2015, 10:43 PM
May 2015

Surprised so many get brainwashed

pansypoo53219

(20,906 posts)
12. my mom thinks its swell. OH NO! the digger girl had a miscarriage. of course
Sat May 9, 2015, 10:55 PM
May 2015

my aunt used to tell me all about those duck beard twits.

1monster

(11,012 posts)
11. I really don't understand how so many of those calling themseves
Sat May 9, 2015, 10:48 PM
May 2015

Christians can rely so heavily on the Old Testament. The Old Testament is a small part of the Hebrew (and by extension, the Jewish) history and religion. Other than the fact that the originators of Christianity were Hebrews, the two religions are not complementary and are often diametrically opposed... So many of the Quiverful rules and demands quoted in this article are OT and have nothing to do with Christianity.

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
15. K&R People need to read about how women are abused in the name of religion.
Sat May 9, 2015, 11:57 PM
May 2015

I cannot and will not respect institutions which create and cultivate this mentality.

PeaceNikki

(27,985 posts)
16. Wow, this is the most powerful part to me;
Sun May 10, 2015, 12:04 AM
May 2015
I did file for divorce and rescue myself and my kids from the tyranny of patriarchy. But for me, the primary break up was with Jesus. You see, being in a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is a set up for dysfunctional game-playing and crazy-making head trips. According to Christianity, Jesus subjected himself to torture and death, so that we could have the “free gift” of eternal life … and by “free,” he means, it’s only going to cost you everything you have and everything you are.

When the very definition of perfect love is sacrificing your children and martyring yourself, there is no place for emotionally healthy concepts like boundaries, consent, equality, and mutuality. I could not say that my husband’s patriarchal behavior was abusive so long as I was committed to a relationship with “The Big Guy” who exemplifies the abusive bully, and who commands his followers to imitate His very warped and twisted idea of “love.”

F4lconF16

(3,747 posts)
17. Yeah.
Sun May 10, 2015, 05:23 PM
May 2015

Oof. Had a talk with someone about that the other day. They're glad they left the church. That's about all I'm going to say on that.

 

hifiguy

(33,688 posts)
19. How can you have a "personal relationship" with someone who, if he ever even existed,
Sun May 10, 2015, 05:36 PM
May 2015

has been dead for nearly 2000 years? The stunning illogic of that statement has always driven me a little batty. In my hyper=logical Aspie mind that's like saying you have a "personal relationship" with Julius Caesar or King Tut. Does not compute in any way.

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