HomeLatest ThreadsGreatest ThreadsForums & GroupsMy SubscriptionsMy Posts
DU Home » Latest Threads » Forums & Groups » Main » General Discussion (Forum) » So I was smoking a cigare...

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:05 PM

So I was smoking a cigarette during the break .. .

at an AA meeting. Two Old Timers got in an argument over whether you "work" the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous or you "take" the steps.

Brief issue summary: The 12 Steps are included in a chapter of the AA Big Book titled "How It Works". The sentence preceeding the 12 Steps states "These are the steps we took".


Several people had to step between the Old Farts to stop them from engaging in a fist fight over the correct description of how to implement the 12 Steps and recover from the "pitiful incomprehensible demoralization" of the alcoholic's emotional collapse.

This was a graphic example to me of how people who put on a good pretense of being full grown mature adults can descend into immature emotional responses over trivial concerns.

I have no doubt that both parties were absolutely convinced of the righteousness of their opinion and felt very deeply that the outcome of their disagreement was vital to the survival of AA.

I also resolved never to "be that guy". So far so good. For the most part, I have managed to avoid over reacting to trivial slights that threaten my ego.

Full grown mature adults do not let minor events or trivial transgressions trigger an emotional response. As the saying goes:

Don't sweat the small stuff!

AND

It's all small stuff.

20 replies, 1948 views

Reply to this thread

Back to top Alert abuse

Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 20 replies Author Time Post
Reply So I was smoking a cigarette during the break .. . (Original post)
Meteor Man Apr 2016 OP
WhiteTara Apr 2016 #1
NV Whino Apr 2016 #2
rug Apr 2016 #3
Meteor Man Apr 2016 #11
rug Apr 2016 #19
islandmkl Apr 2016 #4
Meteor Man Apr 2016 #12
TexasProgresive Apr 2016 #5
hfojvt Apr 2016 #6
Meteor Man Apr 2016 #9
TygrBright Apr 2016 #10
Meteor Man Apr 2016 #14
Warren DeMontague Apr 2016 #17
ScreamingMeemie Apr 2016 #7
demigoddess Apr 2016 #8
Wounded Bear Apr 2016 #13
Rhiannon12866 Apr 2016 #15
GreenEyedLefty Apr 2016 #16
Warren DeMontague Apr 2016 #18
Lil Missy Apr 2016 #20

Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:14 PM

1. Good job MM. Keep working/taking those steps

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:18 PM

2. In that case, if you haven't already done so...

You might want to trash the Hillary and Bernie groups and GDP.

Oh, and welcome to DU.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:23 PM

3. Well, Bill did say, "Many alcoholics are enthusiasts. They run to extremes."

 

Big Book, page 125.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to rug (Reply #3)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 12:35 AM

11. A Friend of Bill!

And the Big Book says "we have recovered froma state of pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization" and yet you hear the constant refrain that we are all "recovering" because . . . reasons!

Confusion abounds!

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Reply #11)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 07:37 AM

19. Welcome to DU.

 

Have a seat, friend.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:24 PM

4. welcome to DU and good job and good luck...

a buddy of mine always says, "It's all good...but the shitty part!"

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to islandmkl (Reply #4)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 12:37 AM

12. Confucious says . . .

We cannot enjoy the joy of life until we experience the misery.

Don't ya know.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:33 PM

5. Some of us waste an enormous amount of energy

on really silly stuff, like our lives depend on it being true. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was to chose your battles. A few things are important but most is not.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:34 PM

6. you were WHAT?

There goers your progressive cred.

I suppose you took your pit bull to Olive Garden after that.

The quip you closed with isn't exactly a saying. It's the title of a best selling book.

It may be an excellent book, but it certainly made Richard Carlson's income into more than "small stuff". He perhaps should have rested on his laurels. He died as the youngish age of 45 while on a promotional tour for a later book.

You ought to see the ballroom blitzes that start at DU over Olive Garden, et. al.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to hfojvt (Reply #6)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 12:01 AM

9. Oh yeah!

So there I was at an AA meeting in Seal Beach. I was kinda short financially, so I was smoking Bugler Menthol. The break was coming up so I rolled up a couple of cigarettes.

I noticed a couple of admonishing glares, but didn't give it any thought.

I was smoking my rolly and thinking. Because thinking is what newcomers do best. As people filtered back into the meeting a couple of regulars approached me. They scolded me about rolling a cigarette during the meeting.

Quite naturally, I was both astonished and confused. I asked why rolling a cigarette during the meeting was a problem. The response was that some attendees were trying to quit smoking and rolling a cigarette during the meeting was somehow bothersome.

Well I went back into the meeting lutelyand sat down. After a short r. eflection, I pulled out my Bugler and rolled up five or six cigarettes.

As the meeting drew to a close I got a chance to share. I pointed out, in no uncertaintain terms, that there was absolutely nothing in The Big Book, The 12 X 12, or any other AA literature that addressed smoking cigarettes, let alone simply rolling one up during a meeting. If anyone had a problem with smoking cigarettes, they should try another Twelve Step program.

There was a small dust up after the meeting and I never went back. What you call a win/win.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Reply #9)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 12:10 AM

10. Some addicts/alcoholics can kick any substance but tobacco.

It's the most powerful, lethal addiction our society has.

And the tobacco pushers get away with it because unlike drinkers and drug users, the symptoms and effects don't include deteriorating social and economic function.

It just kills you slowly, quietly.

Every addict/alcoholic I know who has/had both addictions, has said hands-down, tobacco is much, much tougher to kick than booze or dope.

That said, I hope you manage it someday.

We've buried too many good folks in the Program, who couldn't shake that last monkey off their backs.

diffidently,
Bright

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to TygrBright (Reply #10)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 02:33 AM

14. Not My Problrm

AA is for alcoholics who sre trying to quit drinking. I wasn"t smoking during the meeting.

Cigarette smoking is an The"outside issue".

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to TygrBright (Reply #10)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 07:17 AM

17. Yep. AA saved my Dad's life, until the smokes killed him.

I'm eternally thankful to our lady of Sativa Indica that I was too busy smoking something else in High School to ever seriously pick up nicotine.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 09:35 PM

7. All you need to do is step into GD: Primaries for a few minutes...

...and your point is proven. There are no issues being talked about. Only silliness.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Wed Apr 13, 2016, 10:36 PM

8. I know what you are talking about. Is it in the water?

Good work with AA. Congrats.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 12:43 AM

13. After a year back in 1971, and several other trips to Memphis...

Tennessee, on the last time I was there, I took a few hours to visit Shiloh Battlefield, about 60 miles east. It was one of the bloodier conflicts of our Civil War from April 1862. It was one of the earlier battles, that revealed how bloody the war would end up being.

A couple of thousand graves, many of them unmarked, from North and South. I'm pretty sure that almost every one of those young men, from both sides, were convinced of the rightness of their cause. It's curious what we will tend to fight for and over.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 02:49 AM

15. K&R! We always say "It works if you work it..."

"So work it, you're worth it!" Keep up the good work! I'll have seven years next week...

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 07:04 AM

16. It really is.

So many people tend to tie all of their self worth to their thoughts and they will fight for the "right to be right" sometimes with lethal force if they feel threatened.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 07:19 AM

18. A classic example of going into the restaurant and trying to eat the menu.

Or maybe getting so hung up on the specifics of the message you miss the actual, you know, message.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink


Response to Meteor Man (Original post)

Thu Apr 14, 2016, 07:41 AM

20. Keep it Simple Stupid! (KISS)

It's been 7 years for me.

Reply to this post

Back to top Alert abuse Link here Permalink

Reply to this thread