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ehrnst

(32,640 posts)
Tue Jun 14, 2016, 03:20 PM Jun 2016

The Onion: It’s An Honor To Continue Being Valued Over Countless Human Lives. By an AR-15


Look, I’m not the type who needs constant validation, and I have never sought preferential treatment from anyone. I just try to focus on doing what I do and not get too caught up in what people think or say about me. But I have to admit, it’s been hard to ignore all the support and appreciation I’ve been receiving lately, particularly over the past several years. That’s why I want to take this opportunity to let all of you know what an absolute honor it is that you continue to value me over countless human lives.

I don’t want to get too sentimental or anything, but it really means the world to me how often you as Americans, through your words and your actions, make it known that I am more important to you than the lives of your fellow citizens.

You see, I’m just a humble lightweight, magazine-fed semi-automatic rifle; I never expected this kind of outpouring of affection. But time and time again, you’ve shown me how much I matter to you. To see so many people—people who could be working to protect and care for human lives—actively devoting their time and energy to making sure *I’m* the one who’s protected and cared for instead—it’s beyond touching.



http://www.theonion.com/blogpost/its-honor-continue-being-valued-over-countless-hum-53094
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The Onion: It’s An Honor To Continue Being Valued Over Countless Human Lives. By an AR-15 (Original Post) ehrnst Jun 2016 OP
Oh, AR-15 how could I ever stay mad at you Johonny Jun 2016 #1
Or, "I wish I knew how to quit you." -- Broke back Mountain; or Ilsa Jun 2016 #6
Marking for FB post tonight underpants Jun 2016 #2
SPOT ON. Maru Kitteh Jun 2016 #3
God bless The Onion. (nt) Paladin Jun 2016 #4
Brilliant. blue neen Jun 2016 #5
This is absolutely perfect in representing the arguments here against gun legislation passiveporcupine Jun 2016 #7
Wonderful. Simply wonderful! longship Jun 2016 #8
Its like certain dogs. ErikJ Jun 2016 #9
How did this turn into a discussion on dogs? (nt) ehrnst Jun 2016 #10
Guns are more important than people. Iggo Jun 2016 #11
K&R demmiblue Jun 2016 #12
K&R Solly Mack Jun 2016 #13

Ilsa

(61,675 posts)
6. Or, "I wish I knew how to quit you." -- Broke back Mountain; or
Tue Jun 14, 2016, 04:19 PM
Jun 2016

"I Can't Quit You Baby" - Led Zeppelin.

passiveporcupine

(8,175 posts)
7. This is absolutely perfect in representing the arguments here against gun legislation
Tue Jun 14, 2016, 04:20 PM
Jun 2016

yes...it's beyond touching.

It's disgusting.

 

ErikJ

(6,335 posts)
9. Its like certain dogs.
Tue Jun 14, 2016, 04:25 PM
Jun 2016

They care more about the breed and their dog than they do the lives and limbs of fellow Americans it has taken. Even the threat of a million dollar lawsuit or being the victim themselves doesnt deter them.

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