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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsTrump’s Bid to Become Born-Again Fails as Jesus Turns Down Friend Request —tells Borowitz
Photograph by Noam Galai / WireImage / Getty
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)The billionaire Donald J. Trumps bid to become a born-again Christian failed over the weekend after Jesus Christ turned down his friend request, campaign officials have acknowledged.
Jesus, who has not generally been active on Facebook, made a rare appearance on the social network on Monday to announce his decision to ignore the presumptive Republican nominees request for a personal relationship with him.
In a brief post, Jesus offered the following explanation: Just everything.
The turndown from Jesus Christ, the inspiration behind one of the worlds most prominent religions, caps what has been a tough month for the Trump campaign.
Privately, campaign staffers fretted that the candidate would pen a disparaging tweet about Jesus, which might alienate evangelical voters in key battleground states.
But, at a rally in Pennsylvania, Trump made no reference to Jesus, and instead touted endorsements he had received from Gary Busey, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Joe (the Plumber) Wurzelbacher.
www.borowitzreport.com
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Trump’s Bid to Become Born-Again Fails as Jesus Turns Down Friend Request —tells Borowitz (Original Post)
Mira
Jun 2016
OP
iandhr
(6,852 posts)1. Borowitz is awesome
Wounded Bear
(58,598 posts)2. K & R ......that's funny!
Hilarious, actually!
sulphurdunn
(6,891 posts)3. Jesus is just jealous
because he knows Trump is the son his dad should have had.
raven mad
(4,940 posts)4. Ahem.............