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Mira

(22,470 posts)
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 04:27 PM Dec 2016

Ben Carson Warns That Bible Makes No Mention of Housing or Urban Development told by Borowitz





WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In his first public statement since Donald Trump chose him to be the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson said on Monday that the Bible “makes absolutely no mention of housing or urban development.”

Carson said that, when Trump initially asked him to accept the post, “the first thing I did was check the Bible to see if there was anything about housing or urban development in there, and much to my dismay there was not.”

“As you can well imagine, I did not want to be in charge of something that the Bible does not condone,” he said. “But then I realized that perhaps the Lord wants me to take this job so that I can banish housing and urban development from the earth.”

Carson offered no details about how he would eliminate housing, but said that he was seeking advice from Trump’s pick for Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos. “She’s basically trying to do the same thing with education,” he said.

The retired neurosurgeon said that he was looking forward to taking the reins at HUD but that he had “a lot of loose ends to tie up” before then. “Right now, I need to find my shoes,” he said.

www.borowitzreport.com
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Ben Carson Warns That Bible Makes No Mention of Housing or Urban Development told by Borowitz (Original Post) Mira Dec 2016 OP
Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah malaise Dec 2016 #1
poor lost Ben Angry Dragon Dec 2016 #2
Right Mountain Mule Dec 2016 #3
Bible mentions socialism, not capitalism. Capitalism 14th Cent., Industrial Capitalism 18th Cent. TheBlackAdder Dec 2016 #4
Wait! The bible doesn't mention Jesus walking with Native Americans or some guy named Ben Carson TheBlackAdder Dec 2016 #5
The Bible Lotusflower70 Dec 2016 #6
Actually, it DOES mention abortion...however, the fundies want you to not know that jmowreader Dec 2016 #9
Thanks Lotusflower70 Dec 2016 #10
How could it be? jmowreader Dec 2016 #11
I understand that Lotusflower70 Dec 2016 #14
Carson and Jesus hang together...... Historic NY Dec 2016 #7
Ben may have been a great surgeon, but Motley13 Dec 2016 #8
Well, I would think that Mr. Carson DOES travel by airplane, but BigDemVoter Dec 2016 #12
It's obvious he's a charlatan. BigDemVoter Dec 2016 #13
Jesus said, F the poor. The bible according to Ben Carson. sarcasmo Dec 2016 #15
It's getting to where I can actually laugh at shit like this... Wounded Bear Dec 2016 #16
R# & K for the op content, but could always do without the photos. UTUSN Dec 2016 #17

Mountain Mule

(1,007 posts)
3. Right
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 04:36 PM
Dec 2016

I bet if he needed heart by-pass surgery, he'd get it even though it's not mentioned in the Bible. Heck, the United States ain't mentioned in the Bible either. Carson better go find a place to live in Israel or Palestine, else face the wrath of Gawd. If you ask me, maybe he needs to find out where his Alzheimer's specialist has his office.

TheBlackAdder

(28,880 posts)
5. Wait! The bible doesn't mention Jesus walking with Native Americans or some guy named Ben Carson
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 04:59 PM
Dec 2016

.





I though Ben Carson to be more of a black velvet painting kind of man.


.

Lotusflower70

(3,090 posts)
6. The Bible
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 05:01 PM
Dec 2016

Talks about helping the poor and needy so that could be an argument for housing and urban development. Of course it doesn't mention abortion or homosexuality and the Republicans seem to be fixated on both. Regardless Ben Carson is totally clueless and not the man for the job. HUD should not to based on the Bible anyway.

jmowreader

(51,406 posts)
9. Actually, it DOES mention abortion...however, the fundies want you to not know that
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 06:16 PM
Dec 2016

Numbers 5.11-29 gives you a fairly detailed set of instructions for performing one.

jmowreader

(51,406 posts)
11. How could it be?
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 07:49 PM
Dec 2016

Wiping entire towns off the map - INCLUDING all the pregnant women who live there - is a popular pastime in the Bible.

Motley13

(3,867 posts)
8. Ben may have been a great surgeon, but
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 05:15 PM
Dec 2016

the Dr. that operated on Ben's brain should be sued for malpractice.

BigDemVoter

(4,531 posts)
12. Well, I would think that Mr. Carson DOES travel by airplane, but
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 07:53 PM
Dec 2016

I am convinced that airplanes aren't mentioned in his Bible, although Jesus taking flight would be an interesting spectacle to watch, but wait--that DID happen!

BigDemVoter

(4,531 posts)
13. It's obvious he's a charlatan.
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 07:55 PM
Dec 2016

Whenever I see that pious look WITH the closed eyes, I know we are FUCKED.

Wounded Bear

(60,625 posts)
16. It's getting to where I can actually laugh at shit like this...
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 08:01 PM
Dec 2016

although it is pathetically close to the truth of the situation.

Dr Ben should take heart, though. If Trump gets pissed at some ISIS tweet and hits the button, ain't nobody gonna need any housing.

UTUSN

(72,327 posts)
17. R# & K for the op content, but could always do without the photos.
Mon Dec 5, 2016, 09:50 PM
Dec 2016

Frankly, I don't want to see pics of DRUMPF or almost any other Repukes. We know what they look like. And we don't like it.

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