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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsBen Carson Warns That Bible Makes No Mention of Housing or Urban Development told by Borowitz
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)In his first public statement since Donald Trump chose him to be the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, Ben Carson said on Monday that the Bible makes absolutely no mention of housing or urban development.
Carson said that, when Trump initially asked him to accept the post, the first thing I did was check the Bible to see if there was anything about housing or urban development in there, and much to my dismay there was not.
As you can well imagine, I did not want to be in charge of something that the Bible does not condone, he said. But then I realized that perhaps the Lord wants me to take this job so that I can banish housing and urban development from the earth.
Carson offered no details about how he would eliminate housing, but said that he was seeking advice from Trumps pick for Secretary of Education, Betsy DeVos. Shes basically trying to do the same thing with education, he said.
The retired neurosurgeon said that he was looking forward to taking the reins at HUD but that he had a lot of loose ends to tie up before then. Right now, I need to find my shoes, he said.
www.borowitzreport.com
malaise
(277,880 posts)Angry Dragon
(36,693 posts)Mountain Mule
(1,007 posts)I bet if he needed heart by-pass surgery, he'd get it even though it's not mentioned in the Bible. Heck, the United States ain't mentioned in the Bible either. Carson better go find a place to live in Israel or Palestine, else face the wrath of Gawd. If you ask me, maybe he needs to find out where his Alzheimer's specialist has his office.
TheBlackAdder
(28,880 posts)TheBlackAdder
(28,880 posts).
I though Ben Carson to be more of a black velvet painting kind of man.
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Lotusflower70
(3,090 posts)Talks about helping the poor and needy so that could be an argument for housing and urban development. Of course it doesn't mention abortion or homosexuality and the Republicans seem to be fixated on both. Regardless Ben Carson is totally clueless and not the man for the job. HUD should not to based on the Bible anyway.
jmowreader
(51,406 posts)Numbers 5.11-29 gives you a fairly detailed set of instructions for performing one.
Lotusflower70
(3,090 posts)Sorry I wasn't clear. I meant that it doesn't state that abortion is against the will of God.
jmowreader
(51,406 posts)Wiping entire towns off the map - INCLUDING all the pregnant women who live there - is a popular pastime in the Bible.
Lotusflower70
(3,090 posts)The Republicans use the Bible to argue that abortion is wrong.
Historic NY
(37,814 posts)Motley13
(3,867 posts)the Dr. that operated on Ben's brain should be sued for malpractice.
BigDemVoter
(4,531 posts)I am convinced that airplanes aren't mentioned in his Bible, although Jesus taking flight would be an interesting spectacle to watch, but wait--that DID happen!
BigDemVoter
(4,531 posts)Whenever I see that pious look WITH the closed eyes, I know we are FUCKED.
sarcasmo
(23,968 posts)Wounded Bear
(60,625 posts)although it is pathetically close to the truth of the situation.
Dr Ben should take heart, though. If Trump gets pissed at some ISIS tweet and hits the button, ain't nobody gonna need any housing.
UTUSN
(72,327 posts)Frankly, I don't want to see pics of DRUMPF or almost any other Repukes. We know what they look like. And we don't like it.