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C Moon

(12,188 posts)
Mon Aug 7, 2017, 11:56 PM Aug 2017

A paranoid elderly lady

This past week, my wife has helping an older lady while she is sick, by taking her dog to to a dog play area (along with our dog).

The senior lady is doing very well for herself (her husband died some years ago), and since then she's been investing in stocks, and owns several properties.

My wife said the lady is nice and she enjoys talking to her; but out of the blue, the lady will suddenly start talking about how people are stealing thousands of dollars from her: for example, her children; and tonight she said another old lady (who is also at the dog play area), stole $300,000 from her by intercepting an electronic check and cashing it herself.

Is this a sign of an illness? It sounds like it to me.

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Caliman73

(11,690 posts)
2. Your wife may want to contact the local Adult Protective Services agency.
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 12:11 AM
Aug 2017

The behavior may be psychiatric or aging related. People with different types of dementia may exhibit symptoms of paranoia as well. If she is saying that her children are stealing from her it may be worth a look anyway.

I have seen both situations unfold where people were actually stealing money from their relative, and where the senior was beginning to decline because of dementia. In either situation the woman may need protection, from others or from herself.

APS is typically non intrusive, voluntary, and confidentiality is protected on both sides (Reporter/Alleged Victim). Your wife can even make an anonymous report where she does not give her name.

womanofthehills

(8,579 posts)
3. My mother got more and more paranoid as she got older
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 12:12 AM
Aug 2017

When she gave birth to me she had a stroke and my dad said that changed her personality but over the yrs her paranoia grew. My mom was pretty rational outside of the paranoia. It could be damage to a certain part of her brain.

One time I went to get a spoon out of my mom's kitchen drawer and she pulled my hand away saying what was I doing in her drawer. "Getting a spoon" I said. She told me next time to ask and not go in any of her drawers.

bdjhawk

(420 posts)
7. Your wife may want to take someone with her
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 12:42 AM
Aug 2017

as a form of witness when she goes into the woman's home so she doesn't become the next one accused. Have seen this happen to some well meaning, kind people who just wanted to help.

politicat

(9,808 posts)
9. That was one of my grandmother's early dementia signs.
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 01:40 AM
Aug 2017

(And middle, and late. It was kind of exhausting, and I had to be careful what clothes I wore around her. Anything she didn't recognize, she accused me of buying with her money.)

I think it's slightly more common in vascular dementia, but vascular (caused by blocked arteries restricting oxygen to the brain) is also slightly more common, so that may be statistical noise.

Your spouse should not be alone with her, and that lady really should have an ultrasound on her neck and consult a neurologist. But one of the major symptoms of dementia is a total inability to recognize cognitive issues, so... protect yourselves.

C Moon

(12,188 posts)
11. Wow. Thanks so much.
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 02:42 AM
Aug 2017

I don't know why she's not well enough to take her dogs to the park, but I will find out more before my wife goes back.

QC

(26,371 posts)
10. An exploiter took my elderly aunt and uncle for about $700,000,
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 02:02 AM
Aug 2017

so there could be something to this, or, of course, she could be crazy.

betsuni

(25,122 posts)
12. That was a symptom of my mother-in-law's dementia.
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 03:16 AM
Aug 2017

Sometimes she couldn't find something and call my husband to ask if I took it. Once it was her nail clippers. Later she insisted people were coming into her house and stealing food and money. Once she had been sitting at the kitchen table with her bank book and wallet and after she'd come back from another room they were gone. Since the doors and windows were locked, she decided it was ghosts.

C Moon

(12,188 posts)
14. Oh wow. I don't want to be an archair doctor, but it appears she needs some help.
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 04:05 AM
Aug 2017

I mean the lady I'm speaking of, not your mother in law.
Thanks.

enough

(13,235 posts)
15. Very common in early-mid Stages of dementia.
Tue Aug 8, 2017, 07:58 AM
Aug 2017

My father believed that Vanguard was stealing his mutual funds. Anything that got lost had been "stolen" by somebody, and sometimes even things he never had were stolen.

On the other hand, there are cases when people do take advantage of elderly people in serious ways. Either way, she needs help.

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