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Wed May 11, 2016, 11:34 AM

8 Steps That Explain Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships

(a very important and difficult article)

8 Steps That Explain Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships




The question that is always asked of victims of domestic abuse is “Why don’t/didn’t you just leave?” I know sometimes even victims don’t really understand why.

I’ve heard that question over and over. While there are many different reasons we give for not leaving, there is a “scientific explanation” for why it is so difficult to leave an abusive situation. I will explain the cycle of brainwashing as studied by psychologist Robert Jay Lifton, but will be discussing it as it specifically pertains to domestic abuse.

Last year, after years of hiding my abuse from almost everybody I knew, I decided to publicly share my story. Recently, after my research on brainwashing, I went back to read the story I had written last year. I was shocked. Each experience I described was a step in the brainwashing process. What’s even more shocking is that my abuser was only 15 years old.

I am not a psychologist, I speak from years of personal experience and from spending time with women who have endured domestic abuse. When somebody’s only objective is to keep you loyal, they will go to great lengths to achieve it.

This is what the brainwashing process looks like:

. . . . .

http://msmagazine.com/blog/2016/05/11/8-steps-that-explain-why-women-stay-in-abusive-relationships/

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Reply 8 Steps That Explain Why Women Stay in Abusive Relationships (Original post)
niyad May 2016 OP
raccoon May 2016 #1
niyad May 2016 #2

Response to niyad (Original post)

Fri May 13, 2016, 07:21 AM

1. The last paragraph is especially good.

There is hope. Abuse thrives only in silence. If you are healing from an abusive relationship, know the most important thing to do is forgive yourself. If you find yourself in this situation, please seek support. An extremely effective way to get out of the darkness of guilt and shame is by shining a light on it. Start talking about it, don’t keep the feelings inside. Shame can only survive in darkness.

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Response to raccoon (Reply #1)

Fri May 13, 2016, 11:29 AM

2. so very true.

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