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Fri Jun 18, 2021, 01:05 PM

Is social dancing The Answer

For single men in search of a mate? Just a few days ago a fellow DUer was complaining about internet dating.
I thought I would expand a thought I had into a more general post. Is there a type of music that you like? Today there is someone teaching every form of dancing from hip hop to foxtrot. I'm not talking about highly choreographed performance dancing but rather social dancing, where you learn a half dozen or so moves and look pretty good on the dance floor.
I love the music of the big bands and the Great American Songbook. It took a while, but I got pretty good at Swing and the Foxtrot, ok at the waltz, never too good at those latin dances. When I started I didn't really have an idea of meeting woman. I just wanted to be able to dance to the music that I loved. But it turns out that a lot of woman like the idea of being held when they dance. I don't think I was ever turned down when I proposed: "I love big band music. Would you like to go out dancing some night?"
I suspect the same would hold true for any type of dancing.
Will someone marry you just because you can dance. Not likely. But it does add something to the package. I do think it was one of the reasons my wife decided to marry me. Our wedding song was a swingy version of Cole Porter's 'Night and Day'.
Years ago we were at an academic dinner and my wife was sitting next to an attractive woman in her thirties and for some reason I became the subject of their talk. At some point in the conversation the young woman exclaimed: 'You mean he can dance too? Where on earth did you find him?'
I still have to blush.

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Arrow 12 replies Author Time Post
Reply Is social dancing The Answer (Original post)
Tomconroy Jun 2021 OP
grumpyduck Jun 2021 #1
Ocelot II Jun 2021 #2
Tomconroy Jun 2021 #3
Ocelot II Jun 2021 #4
Tomconroy Jun 2021 #5
eShirl Jun 2021 #6
Phoenix61 Jun 2021 #7
tanyev Jun 2021 #8
Corgigal Jun 2021 #9
whistler162 Jun 2021 #10
Tomconroy Jun 2021 #12
Tomconroy Jun 2021 #11

Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 01:12 PM

1. From personal experience,

I can double and triple-vouch for that. And the vast majority of people I met at classes and dances were really nice.

And yep, " 'You mean he can dance too? Where on earth did you find him?" -- I heard that about me too.

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 02:21 PM

2. Maybe for some people.

But if you're painfully shy and have two left feet, not so much. Took a class once, felt like a hopeless klutz, didn't stick around.

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Response to Ocelot II (Reply #2)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 02:28 PM

3. Private lessons probably would have worked.

More expensive but you definitely learn more quickly. I started in a class and felt like you. But I was determined to learn the stuff and I did.

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Response to Tomconroy (Reply #3)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 02:33 PM

4. But once I learned to do it I would still have to talk to people and dance with them.

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 02:39 PM

5. There is that!

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 02:43 PM

6. contradances, barn dances

it's all good

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 03:21 PM

7. The best thing to come out of Texas is

a Texas two-step. It was so much fun but the waltz was my favorite. The dance floor would pack out at happy hour and stay that way all night. I even did a research paper on using touch dance as a treatment for depression. Lots and lots of research on the power of touch. I think itís sad young people donít seem interested in dancing. I guess it would be hard to check your phone and dance at the same time.

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 05:53 PM

8. A man in a dance class has already improved his odds immensely.

Any studio that has classes, be it ballroom or country dancing, probably sees a ratio of at least 5 women to every man. I've been doing line dance classes for several years now at the rec center. We do all kinds of music as opposed to line dancing that might be taught at a country western club. Easily 20-30 women in a class and sometimes 1 or 2 men, often attending with their wife.

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 06:14 PM

9. Yes,

itís the answer. I miss it, and it was so much fun. Nice way to meet people. A man who can dance , to me , was always a catch. I remember those fun times, see video below..

If you can dance to this song, swing by....

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 06:25 PM

10. well.......

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Response to whistler162 (Reply #10)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 08:18 PM

12. I think Fred Astaire introduced that song.

That's why I wanted to learn to dance!

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Response to Tomconroy (Original post)

Fri Jun 18, 2021, 08:10 PM

11. Social dancing changed my social life

as well. The friend who induced me to go to a dance lesson was from Old New Haven society. After I mastered a few steps I was suddenly getting engraved invitations to the black tie dances that were still held at a few of the private clubs in the town. I instituted a swing dance at the city club I belonged to. I just caught the end of an elegant social era. Was it frivolous? Of course. Did I like it? I liked it a lot!
Now my wife and I don't go out the way we used to. But sometimes if a swing music cd is playing, we'll dance right in the living room.

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