Dads and Fathers - Some Jokes to tell the kids
My wife said I never buy her flowers. I didnt even know she sold flowers.
Dad, did you get a haircut?
No, I got them all cut!
I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.
What did one hat say to the other?
Stay here! I'm going on ahead.
This graveyard looks overcrowded.
People must be dying to get in.
What does a lemon say when it answers the phone?
Yellow.
I used to play piano by ear.
Now I use my hands.
What does a bee use to brush its hair?
A honeycomb.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's okay, he woke up.
What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little hoarse.
How much does it cost Santa to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it's on the house.
Don't trust atoms. They make up everything!
I wouldn't buy anything with velcro. It's a total rip-off.
What did the coffee report to the police?
A mugging.