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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsMy God am I depressed.
I usually go to my Mom's for a while at thanksgiving and she gives me a plate from her diner at her clubhouse. I could go to the clubhouse with her but I really don't like it much. They are all much older than me and while very nice to me it is just kind of boring.
So this is the year that we lost our business in NJ and my Mom is still stuck up there and has to wait until the 2 buildings are demolished until she and my step dad can come down to Florida. I went earlier to a clubhouse that I go to for people with mental illness and that was nice but it ended at 1pm. I've been sitting here since. I've tried to practice drawing, (they are nice enough to give us a free water color class which included some drawing which I suck at). But that took some time and determination.
I just haven't felt this low in a long time. It is so weird when things change. At first I was so worried about the money and the loss but now I just want my Mom. And I'm 54! I don't have any kids of my own. I feel like a little kid all by myself.
I think I may go down the street to some neighbors house and visit a little, just to get out of this house that seems to be swallowing me up.
Thanks for letting me rant here. I know people care.
Love to you all,
Maraya
elleng
(130,126 posts)We do care.
It is depressing to be alone. I've been listening to my favorite music all day.
I hope you have a nice visit with the neighbors.
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)of people that just isn't blood relatives. You all are my family here.
alarimer
(16,245 posts)I should be thankful, and I am, because I'm with my family. They are all fine, which is good. But there's someone I'm really missing who doesn't want me anymore and he was supposed to be here and it just hurts.
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)I hope you feel better soon.
alarimer
(16,245 posts)I have a bad tendency to isolate myself. So when I get home, I'm going to start doing things at least 2x a week.
MrMickeysMom
(20,453 posts)We, for some points in our lives are where you are, regardless of how long we feel this way.
We are a family here, and I want to say Maraya, it will get better.
Know that somebody wants you to remember this, okay?
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)Lady Freedom Returns
(14,120 posts)Something that has helped me is to remember that it is OK to laugh when you see a chance!! You never know, on the way to see your neighbors you may see a dog doing something cute. Just laugh and enjoy it! A laugh does the down heart good!
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)were laying on the ground facing one another with there arms intertwined like they were holding hands. They are the best of friends. It was so nice. I even said I wished I had my camera!
NYC_SKP
(68,644 posts)I hope you feel better after a visit with the neighbors.
Thanksgiving usually makes me sad, never had kids and don't seem to fit anywhere.
Hope your next year Turkey day is brighter!
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)Here's to all of us who never had kids and don't have a significant other.
WinkyDink
(51,311 posts)littlemissmartypants
(22,417 posts)and I get down sometimes. I get sad because you can't be a family if you are only one person. But someone gave me some really good advice. He said, "Haul water, chop wood." It works for me and I hope it will for you. LMSP
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)I've been reading Eckart Tolle's A New Earth and he says that happiness does not come from any of the things that we think it comes from. It comes from letting go of wanting and submitting to what is and being in the now. (and a whole lot of other stuff which I only understand to a point). He says that our ego causes us the most pain. In fact I can say now that according to him my ego saying that I need to be with my family or have a family to be with on Thanksgiving is just a illusion that is keeping me from feeling the real peace that is within me. He says to breath several times a day to create, "space". And that at some point you will be able observe your ego as it is working.
I can tell you that when I have been reading his book and trying to practice what he says I feel a lot of peace. I threw it all out the window today though. Your saying brought me back to it.
Thanks!
avebury
(10,946 posts)year with my furbabies. TCM has some great old movies on TV today [Little Women, Cheaper By the Dozen (the original), Sitting Pretty, Room for One More] and so I am parked in the living room for the rest of the day.
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)to know how to live!
Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)WinkyDink
(51,311 posts)Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)Aristus
(66,075 posts)Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)Maraya1969
(22,441 posts)HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)blueamy66
(6,795 posts)sometimes holidays just suck
I hope things get better for you.