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Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:21 PM Nov 2012

My God am I depressed.

I usually go to my Mom's for a while at thanksgiving and she gives me a plate from her diner at her clubhouse. I could go to the clubhouse with her but I really don't like it much. They are all much older than me and while very nice to me it is just kind of boring.

So this is the year that we lost our business in NJ and my Mom is still stuck up there and has to wait until the 2 buildings are demolished until she and my step dad can come down to Florida. I went earlier to a clubhouse that I go to for people with mental illness and that was nice but it ended at 1pm. I've been sitting here since. I've tried to practice drawing, (they are nice enough to give us a free water color class which included some drawing which I suck at). But that took some time and determination.

I just haven't felt this low in a long time. It is so weird when things change. At first I was so worried about the money and the loss but now I just want my Mom. And I'm 54! I don't have any kids of my own. I feel like a little kid all by myself.

I think I may go down the street to some neighbors house and visit a little, just to get out of this house that seems to be swallowing me up.

Thanks for letting me rant here. I know people care.

Love to you all,

Maraya

26 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
My God am I depressed. (Original Post) Maraya1969 Nov 2012 OP
I'm by myself too, Maraya, so you're not alone. elleng Nov 2012 #1
Thank you elleng. Hope you had a nice day too. Sometimes are family has to be made up Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #10
Me too, but for different reasons. alarimer Nov 2012 #2
I'm so sorry alarimer. I've been in that position too and yes it does hurt. Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #11
I think going out to see people is a good idea. alarimer Nov 2012 #18
Of course, we care... MrMickeysMom Nov 2012 #3
Thanks MrMickeysMom. I really appreciate what you said. And the hug too! Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #12
Going out to see people is a great idea. Lady Freedom Returns Nov 2012 #4
You must have ESP. They have 2 big black dogs and right when I was leaving both of them Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #9
Also alone, I just came back from a walk. NYC_SKP Nov 2012 #5
Well we are in the same boat. So there are a lot of us that fit together right? Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #13
You fit HERE, NYC_SKP. WinkyDink Nov 2012 #17
I am too littlemissmartypants Nov 2012 #6
Thanks littlemissmartypants. I like that saying. Sort of like do what you are doing and just "be" Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #14
I spent Thanksgiving alone this avebury Nov 2012 #7
I've got my furbabies right here too. I'm really grateful for them. They are the ones who seem Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #15
You guys are great. Thanks so much. I do feel better just for getting out of the house. Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #8
{{Maraya1969}} I hope it won't be long until you and your Mom are okay in Florida! WinkyDink Nov 2012 #16
Thanks WinkyDink! I hope so too. Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #21
Oh there, there... Aristus Nov 2012 #19
Thanks Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #22
Um... HopeHoops Nov 2012 #20
Thanks! Maraya1969 Nov 2012 #23
PM me if you need more support. HopeHoops Nov 2012 #24
sending good vibes and thoughts your way blueamy66 Nov 2012 #25
Vibes to you. applegrove Nov 2012 #26

elleng

(130,126 posts)
1. I'm by myself too, Maraya, so you're not alone.
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:27 PM
Nov 2012

We do care.
It is depressing to be alone. I've been listening to my favorite music all day.
I hope you have a nice visit with the neighbors.

Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
10. Thank you elleng. Hope you had a nice day too. Sometimes are family has to be made up
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 08:15 PM
Nov 2012

of people that just isn't blood relatives. You all are my family here.

alarimer

(16,245 posts)
2. Me too, but for different reasons.
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:31 PM
Nov 2012

I should be thankful, and I am, because I'm with my family. They are all fine, which is good. But there's someone I'm really missing who doesn't want me anymore and he was supposed to be here and it just hurts.

Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
11. I'm so sorry alarimer. I've been in that position too and yes it does hurt.
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 08:17 PM
Nov 2012

I hope you feel better soon.

alarimer

(16,245 posts)
18. I think going out to see people is a good idea.
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 10:12 PM
Nov 2012

I have a bad tendency to isolate myself. So when I get home, I'm going to start doing things at least 2x a week.

MrMickeysMom

(20,453 posts)
3. Of course, we care...
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:32 PM
Nov 2012

We, for some points in our lives are where you are, regardless of how long we feel this way.

We are a family here, and I want to say Maraya, it will get better.

Know that somebody wants you to remember this, okay?

Lady Freedom Returns

(14,120 posts)
4. Going out to see people is a great idea.
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:47 PM
Nov 2012

Something that has helped me is to remember that it is OK to laugh when you see a chance!! You never know, on the way to see your neighbors you may see a dog doing something cute. Just laugh and enjoy it! A laugh does the down heart good!

Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
9. You must have ESP. They have 2 big black dogs and right when I was leaving both of them
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 08:14 PM
Nov 2012

were laying on the ground facing one another with there arms intertwined like they were holding hands. They are the best of friends. It was so nice. I even said I wished I had my camera!

 

NYC_SKP

(68,644 posts)
5. Also alone, I just came back from a walk.
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:53 PM
Nov 2012

I hope you feel better after a visit with the neighbors.

Thanksgiving usually makes me sad, never had kids and don't seem to fit anywhere.

Hope your next year Turkey day is brighter!

Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
13. Well we are in the same boat. So there are a lot of us that fit together right?
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 08:20 PM
Nov 2012

Here's to all of us who never had kids and don't have a significant other.

littlemissmartypants

(22,417 posts)
6. I am too
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:54 PM
Nov 2012

and I get down sometimes. I get sad because you can't be a family if you are only one person. But someone gave me some really good advice. He said, "Haul water, chop wood." It works for me and I hope it will for you. LMSP

Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
14. Thanks littlemissmartypants. I like that saying. Sort of like do what you are doing and just "be"
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 08:28 PM
Nov 2012

I've been reading Eckart Tolle's A New Earth and he says that happiness does not come from any of the things that we think it comes from. It comes from letting go of wanting and submitting to what is and being in the now. (and a whole lot of other stuff which I only understand to a point). He says that our ego causes us the most pain. In fact I can say now that according to him my ego saying that I need to be with my family or have a family to be with on Thanksgiving is just a illusion that is keeping me from feeling the real peace that is within me. He says to breath several times a day to create, "space". And that at some point you will be able observe your ego as it is working.

I can tell you that when I have been reading his book and trying to practice what he says I feel a lot of peace. I threw it all out the window today though. Your saying brought me back to it.

Thanks!

avebury

(10,946 posts)
7. I spent Thanksgiving alone this
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 07:56 PM
Nov 2012

year with my furbabies. TCM has some great old movies on TV today [Little Women, Cheaper By the Dozen (the original), Sitting Pretty, Room for One More] and so I am parked in the living room for the rest of the day.

Maraya1969

(22,441 posts)
15. I've got my furbabies right here too. I'm really grateful for them. They are the ones who seem
Thu Nov 22, 2012, 08:29 PM
Nov 2012

to know how to live!

 

blueamy66

(6,795 posts)
25. sending good vibes and thoughts your way
Fri Nov 23, 2012, 01:00 PM
Nov 2012

sometimes holidays just suck

I hope things get better for you.

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