The Onion: Report: 2012 Election Likely To Be Decided By 4 Or 5 Key Swing Corporations

WASHINGTON—With polls this week showing the race between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney tightening even further, a growing number of political experts have declared this year's election will almost certainly be decided by a small handful of swing corporations.

"While most publicly traded companies are solidly red or blue, there are four or five major corporations that are complete tossups right now, and any one of them could prove decisive come November," said Nate Silver of The New York Times, noting in particular that Procter & Gamble, a traditional bellwether for the country as a whole, remained a “total wildcard." "Both candidates will have to focus almost exclusively on these swing businesses in order to gain the upper hand."

"And given how close this race is, I wouldn't be surprised if the whole thing comes down to undecided executives at Dow Chemical or Disney," Silver continued. "Let's not forget 2000, when Philip Morris International single-handedly put George W. Bush into office."

Sally Kristen Ride, Ph.D., Trailblazing First American Woman In Space, 1951 - 2012

Source: MarketWatch

Sally Ride died peacefully July 23, 2012 after a courageous 17-month battle with pancreatic cancer. Sally lived her life to the fullest, with boundless energy, curiosity, intelligence, passion, commitment, and love. Her integrity was absolute; her spirit was immeasurable; her approach to life was fearless.

Sally was a physicist, the first American woman to fly in space, a science writer, and the President and CEO of Sally Ride Science. She had the rare ability to understand the essence of things and to inspire those around her to join her pursuits.

Sally's historic flight into space captured the nation's imagination and made her a household name. She became a symbol of the ability of women to break barriers and a hero to generations of adventurous young girls. After retiring from NASA, Sally used her high profile to champion a cause she believed in passionately--inspiring young people, especially girls, to stick with their interest in science, to become scientifically literate, and to consider pursuing careers in science and engineering.

In addition to Tam O'Shaughnessy, her partner of 27 years, Sally is survived by her mother, Joyce; her sister, Bear; her niece, Caitlin, and nephew, Whitney; her staff of 40 at Sally Ride Science; and many friends and colleagues around the country.

Read more: http://www.marketwatch.com/story/sally-kristen-ride-phd-trailblazing-first-american-woman-in-space-1951-2012-2012-07-23

No comment necessary. (Found on facebook)

Pawlenty says Romney neds a "seasoned, experienced" VP. Got it!

Former Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty on Wednesday beat back speculation that Mitt Romney needed a "flashy" running mate, saying instead the presumptive GOP nominee should pick a more serious number two.

"We have a lot of people who are entertaining, who can light their hair on fire or whatever, but the bottom line is these are serious times, we need seasoned experienced people who get the job done," Pawlenty said on Fox News.

The Age (Australia): Fighting the right: conservatives find Republican party line hard to follow

IT TOOK one of America's most prominent conservative judges just a handful of words to sum up the uneasiness some on the right have been feeling of late.

''I've become less conservative since the Republican Party started becoming goofy,'' said Justice Richard Posner in a radio interview last week.

...

''Do you become more conservative? Or do you say, 'What am I doing with this crowd of lunatics?' ''

It is a question being asked increasingly often.

Live grenade found during estate sale

It's not something you find, or want to find, during an estate sale, but a live grenade is what was found Saturday just outside the city of Fennville.

Michigan State Police Trooper Lincoln Miller tells 24 Hour News 8 they were called to a residence on on 58th Street, near M-89, Saturday afternoon about a live grenade found.

According to Trooper Miller, family members removed items, including the grenade, from a house that was having an estate sale. The family thought the grenade was fake, but a shopper at the estate sale said the grenade was real and authorities were called in

Someone moved the grenade to the side of the road. 58th Street was shut down for several hours as authorities investigated the situation.

Lawrence Edmonds Vows To Lick Every Cathedral In United Kingdom Before December

Lawrence Edmonds made a cheeky bet 13 months ago that almost has him licked -- literally.

Edmonds, 26, an English Heritage worker from London, has vowed to lick every single Anglican cathedral in the United Kingdom before December 16.

If he fails, he must run naked around the York Minster, according to Oddity Central. If he succeeds, his roommate, Adam Drury, will have to streak.

“We’ve no idea why the bet was centred on licking cathedrals -- it just was," he told The Sun. "I’ve tasted a lot of new places.”

CDC offers 'Wedding Season Survival Guide'

The CDC put up a tongue-in-cheek blog post this week with a wedding season survival guide.

The joke here is that planning for a wedding isn't that much different from planning for a disaster.

Tips include keeping a kit stocked with safety pins and sedatives, and being supportive of stressed-out brides.

It also says keep an eye on the sky, because, "Just like you know the risks of putting feuding family members in one room, you should also know to check the weather report."

First half of 2012 hottest on record for Michigan (+27 other states)

Source: MLive

The first six months of 2012 were the warmest on record in Michigan and the contiguous United States, according to data released Monday by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration.

Temperatures across the lower 48 states were 4.5 degrees above average during the first half of the year, more than a full degree hotter than the previous record set in 2006.

In Michigan, temperatures were 6.2 degrees above average, topping the previous high of 1921. An unusually hot March pushed up the average, and we just experienced the state's 17th hottest June, according to records that date back to 1895.

Read more: http://www.mlive.com/news/index.ssf/2012/07/first_half_of_2012_hottest_on.html

Catholic Cardinal: 'Rethink line on divorce and gays'

The Church must rethink its approach to remarried divorcees and gay relationships, the world's youngest cardinal has said.

Cardinal Rainer Maria Woelki, 55, made his comments in an interview with the German weekly Die Zeit and said that while the Orthodox Church considers only the first marriage sacramentally valid, divorce and a second marriage is tolerated. Asked whether this could be a model for the Catholic Church, he replied that the Church should talk about it.

Commenting on gay men in relationships he said he tried not to see them as just violating natural law but as people trying to take responsibility for each other in lasting partnerships. "We must find a way of allowing people to live without going against church teaching," he said.