This thread has inspired me to write the following song:

I woke up this morning feeling kind of gory
Like the cockroach fellow in that Kafka story
My family now shuns me, my friends all abhor me
My girlfriend told me, "Go away,
You're starting to bore me.

(Chorus)
'Cause you're not on Facebook
No, you're not on Facebook
Oh, you're not on Facebook
And you're not nobody if you're not on Facebook"

I sent out my resume a-looking for a job
'Cause despite what Mittens Romney thinks, I'm not a lazy slob
The interviewer told me, "Your c.v. is not auspicious.
In fact, I got to tell you, son
It's downright suspicious"

(Chorus)
'Cause you're not on Facebook
No, you're not on Facebook
Oh, you're not on Facebook
And there's something 'funny' if you're not on Facebook"

I heard some bubbleheads talking on the tube last night
Saying, "If you're not on Facebook, then something isn't right.
Just look at Andre Brevik, he's not a Facebook fan
And neither is the Unabomber,
Nor is the Son of Sam

Oh, no, they're not on Facebook
No, they're not on Facebook
And if you're not on Facebook
Well, you may be psychopathic if you're not on Facebook"