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Hometown: New Jersey
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Member since: 2001
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Journal Archives

It's the Eleventh Annual Rocktivity/DU "You Call This NEWS?" Awards!

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Thank you, and a tip of my tiara in welcome! This is the beginning of our second decade, and I would like to open this year's ceremonies with some dedications.

In case you don't already know, MiddleFingerMom, our DU Lounge lizard du tutti DU Lounge lizards, is no longer with us. To say that his extraordinary personality and talent will be sorely missed is of course an understatement. But keeping him close to us is as easy as reviewing his posts, and it has been suggested that the Lounge be renamed in his honor -- a sentiment I heartily endorse.

And in case you don't know, I'm a Jersey girl who nicknamed its current governor Chris Christie "Governor Soprano" years ago. I didn't realize how right I was, and we've touched only the tip of the iceberg of this George Washington Bridge(t) scandal. I also dedicate this year's ceremony to Shawn Boburg of the Bergen Record and Rachel Maddow of MSNBC for refusing to back down on this story. Here's hoping that next year's ceremony will be full of Christie-related entries (minus the fat jokes, please) while his political future sleeps with the fishes.

As I read through the past ten years' worth of awards, an evolutionary process reveals itself -- from just one line to a complete thread; from choosing entries from Latest Breaking News only to choosing them from all DU forums and groups. Eleven years ago, I found myself replying "You call this NEWS?" to stories that seemed too redundant, outdated, or both to qualify as actual journalism. More recently, I've been coming across too many "real" stories that I would have bet my first-born male child were from The Onion or Andy Borowitz -- a new subcategory is born!

Now let's get to this years' awards -- unless you'd like to go through the archives first:

[div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD WINNERS
2003 - Bush's Ancestor's Bank Seized (Grandad - Germany/Nazi)
2004 - Cheney May Help or Hinder Bush's Chances

[div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD CEREMONIES
2005 - U.S. Army Report: Military Lost Dominance In Iraq After Invasion
2006 - Iraq On Brink Of Becoming A Failed State
2007 - Iraqis Blame U.S. Invasion For Discord
2008 - Bush sees no recession coming
2009 - Bottled water sales dry up - Industry Asks 'Why?'
2010 - Former Head of FEMA says Bush Administration Downplayed Severity of Hurricane Katrina
2011 - Wal-Mart: Our Shoppers Are "Running Out Of Money"
2012 - CIA Docs Confirm: Cheney Is A Liar!

[div class="excerpt" style="text-align:center;border: 2px #000000 ridge"]ELEVENTH ANNUAL ROCKTIVITY DU/LBN "YOU CALL THIS NEWS?" AWARDS WINNERS

[div style="text-align:center"]SPECIAL ACHEIVEMENT AWARD
Fox Accidentally Uses Photo of Same-Sex Couple to Illustrate Importance of Heterosexual Marriage
Media Source: FoxNews.com
Posted by: kpete

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Good for them! Oh, and fuck Fox News."

[div style="text-align:center"]SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT "NOT FROM THE ONION" AWARDS
Orlando CBS Affiliate Apologizes For Airing Jags Football Game
Media Source: Yahoo Sports.com
Posted by: NightWatcher

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The Raiders vs. the Jaguars has almost no appeal, unless you're in Jacksonville quarterback Chad Henne's immediate family."
-- NightWatcher/Frank Schwab

Advice to a Republican awaiting his prison term
Media Source: Courier Journal.com
Posted by: alfredo

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "If Farmer survives prison...(h)e could always become an evangelist and shear the 'sheep.' Chuck Colson did that and made a good living. "
-- alfredo

[div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTIONDick Armey dishes dirt accidentally
Media Source: Maddowblog.msnbc.com
Posted by: muriel_volestrangler

Dick Armey had no idea he was speaking to the left-wing Media Matters organization during an interview last week...Instead, Armey thought he was chatting with the conservative Media Research Center...

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Do Penis Navy and Schlong Marines know what any of this means?"
-- LW1977


(New York) City Report Shows a Growing Number Are Near Poverty
Media Source: New York Times
Posted by: alp227

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'All the news that's fit for the eyes of the One Percent' should be their new motto."
-- LiberalEsto

Govt Report: We Wasted a Ton of Money in Iraq
Media Source: AP / TalkingPointsMemo.com
Posted by: meegbear

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "'Wasted' is not exactly the right word.
All of the above?"
-- unblock

[div style="text-align:center"]THIRD RUNNER UP
New Report Warns That Drones Could Be Used for Stalking, Voyeurism
Media Source: Slate
Posted by: Redfairen

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "The report further suggest Drones will make great marital aids and sex toys. Bedrooms will need to be enlarged to accommodate take off and landings."
-- Katashi_itto

[div style="text-align:center"]SECOND RUNNER UP
As inauguration approaches, Obama’s most virulent foes want the celebration stopped
Media Source: Washington Post
Posted by: Faygo Kid

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "We have had the accountability moment...Obama won. And any criticism now would be un-American.*
*The George W. Bush model. And I intend to stick to it."
-- bluestateguy

[div style="text-align:center"]FIRST RUNNER UP
Colin Powell Rebukes GOP: "I Am A Republican" but "GOP Has A Dark Vein Of Intolerance"
Media Source: Meet The Press (NBC TV)
Posted by: egbertowillies

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "It's a new era, bro. You don't have to dance forever with the one what brung ya, especially when that one disrespected you through most of the prom."
-- MADem

[div class="excerpt" style="border: 2px #000000 ridge"][div style="text-align:center"] AND THE WINNER OF THE ELEVENTH ANNUAL

It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican
Media Source: Reuters/Yahoo
Posted by: MindMover

Best Post (Other Than Mine): "Goddamn it -- it took me an hour to inflate this sheep."
-- Orsino

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Congratulations to the winners, and I thank all DU-ers without whose intestinal fortitude in reading these stories these awards cannot happen. Now it's time for the annual after party: this year, Chris Christie gets the bar bill; and as usual, any clothing that gets stuck in the chandelier will be donated to charity.


And now for a Thanksgiving carol

an Old Thanksgiving tradition

And a new one!


And we would be remiss in not mentioning his opening act

which had as much to do with starting the Bush regime backlash as anything.

Despite this being available for free, more than a million purchased a copy on iTunes!

And here's another oldie but goodie:


Also known as Cruz-Christie Syndrome

Posted and self-deleted by another DU-er, but an important addition to my Rethug Psycho collection:

A personality disorder of excessive power strivings

None of the existing formal diagnostic categories in psychiatry today addresses adequately the issues of excessive power-seeking, corruption and destructiveness. Excessive power strivings both poison the personality of the individual who is obsessed in his spirit and mind with power and do unacceptable harm to other peoples' lives.

The present proposal of a diagnostic category of a Personality Disorder of Excessive Power Strivings is intended to fit into current diagnostic schema of DSM as well as into an earlier proposal to examine in all psychopathology not only the burdens and damage people do and impose on their own selves and their own functioning, but also the harm they do to other peoples' lives and functioning.

The diagnosis is to be used when the individual displays prolonged and severe manifestations of the following listed criteria.

The basic feature which is always present in this personality disorder is:
Intense and extensive power strivings.

In addition, at least three other of the following characteristics should be present:

  1. Lack of empathy for people, and indifference to the suffering of others;

  2. "Street smart" alertness and remarkable cunning committed to seizing and expanding power;

  3. Ruthlessness in cultivation of power;

  4. Scapegoating and projection of blame on to targeted individuals or a group, an insistent need to identify certain others as lowly, worthless and intended victims;

  5. Corruption by power and addiction to power;

  6. Demands of other people to be dependent on one's powerful personality, or that they become one's obedient followers;

  7. Emphasis on symbolisms of pure vs. impure, holy vs. infidel, chosen vs. condemned;

  8. A basic disrespect for the lives of others evidenced in callous or indifferent exposure of others to undue risks;

  9. An absence of conscience in contexts of self-interest and opportunity;

  10. A homicide/suicide orientation.

See also: Bush-Delay Syndrome (Narcissistic Peronality Disorder); Sarah Palin Syndrome (Histrionic Personality Disorder).


In loving memory of Tico Torres' Appendix (1953 - 2013)

On October 7, 2013, Bon Jovi drummer Tico Torres will turn sixty years old. But he received his birthday present a month earlier -- from his appendix.

On September 10, 2013, the band was preparing to leave their hotel for the Mexico City venue where they would be playing a sold-out show. But Tico began experiencing severe abdominal pains, and they ended up rushing him to a hospital instead.

Two days later, frontman Jon Bon Jovi announced: "...Thankfully, the operation was a success and Tico is now recovering...We'd like to thank the doctors, nurses and all the hospital staff who helped...Tico sends his thanks for all of your thoughts and prayers...He even promised the doctors he would come back for the surgery right after the show..."

Well, Jon, his bandmates, and their fans owe Tico's appendix a lot of thanks, too.

That is, suppose it had decided to hang in for just a few hours more and detonate while Tico was drumming away at the sound check -- or worse, the gig itself. With his heartbeat and body temperature elevated, the attack could very easily have resulted in his appendix bursting. Would he have been correctly diagnosed and transported to the hospital in time? Were only a couple of hours the difference between the world's Bon Jovi fans sending their thoughts and prayers and their sending their condolences?

Of course, Tico is such a good drummer that it's only logical that his appendix would have natural rhythm, too. Or maybe it loved Tico so much, it just couldn't bring itself to destroy them both. Whatever the reason, I am very thankful that Tico is alive and well to perform another day -- and I will be eternally grateful to the body part that sacrificed itself to make his survival possible.


The 2013 9/11 Day Memorial Film Festival

Introductory remarks byJon Stewart.

An opening short subject by fellow DUer Symbolman:

And the feature presentation:


Variations on a theme

"It is the beating down of everything 'white' and the promotion and glorification of everything 'black' that makes people angry..."

"Like it or not, most people view B/W marriages with some degree of distaste..."

"This Cheerios ad is yet another attempt to elevate the black man to the point of suggesting to white women that white guys are not what you want..."

"A color-blind society? No way as long as we have Black privilege in America."

"It's a dead-end proposition for whites...There is no benefit whatsoever for a white to breed with a black..."

"When...diversity and tolerance...along with all things progressive, are on the ash heap of history, America will be America once again."

TRANSLATION: "The child in that commercial is a living monument to the white man's fear of the black man's sexual conquest of the white woman."


Yes -- and from the Currant, GOOD satire for the very first time

The Onion and Andy Borowitz are the leaders, of course. The Currant's not in their league because they rely too much on cheap shots (Anthony Weiner: ‘I Have A Hard-On’ For New York City) and just plain making stuff up (North Carolina Proposes Ban on Condoms). This article works because it spins a spoonful of inconvenient truth into a three-tiered cake with frosting. Most encouraging!


Think of the hiphop nation as one where ANY kind of crime is a capital crime

and the ONLY kind of punishment is the death penalty.

Even the Mafia and motorcycle gangs dispense justice with a sense of perspective: while most infractions can indeed get you murdered, there are situations in which simply breaking your kneecaps or firebombing your place of business is punishment enough. Hip-hoppers, however, will "go to the mattresses" over something as trivial as eating someone else's candy -- anything less makes you look "weak."

Most recently, rapper and record label owner Rick Ross was fired upon because he displayed Gangster Disciple insignia on one of his albums, and they want to be compensated. Apparently, YouGoogleTube is too busy cracking down on people who post their favorite songs to notice that this kind of stuff is being uploaded: I guess they're cool with your making lethal terroristic threats as long as your background music is original.


Hooray for me.




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