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Rocknation
Profile Information
Gender: Female
Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 44,393
Hometown: New Jersey
Home country: USA
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 44,393
Journal Archives
It's the Thirteenth Annual Rocktivity/DU "You Call This NEWS?" Awards!
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 Thank you, and welcome -- welcome to puberty! It's astounding to think that some of you have children who haven't been around as long as these awards have! And I would be remiss in not mentioning that once again, we are on the threshold of Hillary's second attempt to become president. I'm so happy that we're not weathering the acrimony DU went through eight years ago that this year's ceremony is dedicated to all the Democratic Party Presidential candidates. Needless to say, I'm even happier that the GOP clown car has only turbocharged its rhetoric. But it puts the national media in the difficult position of having to choose which candidate's campaign advertising income to endorse. Maybe that's why we're entering our thirteenth year of DU-ers finding stories that are either a little too obvious, outdated, inconvenient, or a combination thereof to come across as actual news. So once again, let's salute the DU original posters and commenters who weren't afraid to call a spade a shovel! Newbies in particular are invited to survey the archives: [div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD WINNERS 2003 - Bush's Ancestor's Bank Seized (Grandad - Germany/Nazi) 2004 - Cheney May Help or Hinder Bush's Chances [div style="text-align:center"]PREVIOUS AWARD CEREMONIES 2005 - U.S. Army Report: Military Lost Dominance In Iraq After Invasion 2006 - Iraq On Brink Of Becoming A Failed State 2007 - Iraqis Blame U.S. Invasion For Discord 2008 - Bush sees no recession coming 2009 - Bottled water sales dry up - Industry Asks 'Why?' 2010 - Former Head of FEMA says Bush Administration Downplayed Severity of Hurricane Katrina 2011 - Wal-Mart: Our Shoppers Are "Running Out Of Money" 2012 - CIA Docs Confirm: Cheney Is A Liar! 2013 - It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican 2014 - (State) Trooper wants job back because raping that girl was just a "moral mistake" [div class="excerpt" style="text-align:center;border: 2px #000000 ridge"]THIRTEENTH ANNUAL ROCKTIVITY DU/LBN "YOU CALL THIS NEWS?" AWARD WINNERS Having explained the rules, we begin, of course, with an exception to them. The following could not be officially nominated because I started the thread. Nonetheless, I felt that its real-life Onion-ness simply could not go unrecognized. Besides, the recipient, while not an official DU-er to my knowledge, was in a band that rocked liberal causes long before it was fashionable: [div style="text-align:center"]EXCEPTIONAL SPECIAL ACHIEVEMENT AWARD RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE Bassist Apologizes For Inspiring LIMP BIZKIT Media Source: Blabbermouth.net Best Comments: by Rage Against The Machine bassist Tim Commerford "I do apologize for LIMP BIZKIT. I really do. I feel really bad that we inspired such bullshit. They're gone, though. That's the beautiful thing. There's only one left, and that's RAGE, and as far as I'm concerned, we're the only one that matters." [div style="text-align:center"]DIS-HONORABLE MENTION Woman's hand severely injured after she reaches into cage to pet tiger Media Source: Omaha World Herald Original Poster: Omaha Steve Best Comments (Other Than Mine): "Bet she won't do that again..." [div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTION: THE "TO FIGURE THIS OUT, YOU HAD TO DO A FREAKING STUDY?" CATEGORY New study: Democrats far better than Republicans at grammar Media Source: San Francisco Chronicle Original Poster: Newsjock Best Comment (Other Than Mine): "At spelling too -- let's not forget Mr. Moran." -- Sanity Claws [div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTION: THE "YOU FORGOT THE 'NOT FROM THE ONION' DISCLAIMER" CATEGORY Nicky Minaj Upset That Museum Visitors Disrespect Her Wax Figure 
Media Source: EntertainmentOnline.com Original Poster: Liberal_in_LA Best Comment(Other Than Mine): "I'm laughing my...ass off here." -- Cali [div style="text-align:center"]HONORABLE MENTION: When it Comes to Choosing a Partner, Women and Men Value Different Qualities Media Source: KUT.org Original Poster: TexasTowelie Best Comments (Other Than Mine): "That's probably accurate, but a lot of Liberal people prefer -- how shall I put this? -- someone somewhat intelligent to talk to when the sex is done for the night." [div style="text-align:center"]THIRD RUNNER UP C.I.A. Funds Found Their Way Into Qaeda Coffers Media Source: New York Times Original Poster: Geek tragedy Best Comment (Other Than Mine): "The CIA has never seen Islamic nutcases it didn't love." -- Wolf Frankula [div style="text-align:center"]SECOND RUNNER UP Some blacks feel fatigued after barrage of racial incidents Media Source: Associated Press Original Poster: Surya Gayatri Best Comments (Other Than Mine): "Coloreds, Negroes, Blacks, (and) African Americans have always felt under seige." -- Iliyah [div style="text-align:center"]FIRST RUNNER UP Planned Parenthood shootings increasingly seem politically motivated Media Source: Denver Post Original Poster: Deminks Best Comment (Other Than Mine): "He was a loner who lived with a woman (I thought loners lived alone), was a hate radio fan (per his pamphlets and conversation), and was shooting people in/from Planned Parenthood. Whatever could his motive be?" -- Valerief [div class="excerpt" style="border: 2px #000000 ridge"][div style="text-align:center"]  AND THE WINNER OF THE THIRTEENTH ANNUAL
ROCKTIVITY/DU "YOU CALL THIS NEWS?" AWARDS:
 Health officials warn you could die playing GOP debate drinking games
Media Source: RawStory.com Original Poster: Kpete Best Comment (Other Than Mine): "Reverse the rules: If one of these turd maggots say anything remotely intelligent, chug a quart of vodka." -- Olddots [div style="text-align:center"]
Congrats to the winners and thanks for coming to the guests! This year, unclaimed clothing from the after party will be donated to Nicki Minaj, and a room has been reserved Blue Jazz and Nuclear Unicorn. The bar bill will go to pharma greedster Martin Shrkeli...Oh, I beg your pardon, I read my cue card incorrectly! The bar bill for the afterparty is actually going to Miss Universe pageant host Steve Harvey. Shrkeli WAS going to get it, but his arrest for securities fraud and firings as CEO of two pharmaceutical companies have suddenly rendered him quite broke. So we created a job for him instead -- in case you've been wondering why the busboy looks kind of familiar! 
rocktivity |
Posted by rocktivity | Mon Jan 11, 2016, 12:23 PM (21 replies)
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