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Gender: Female
Hometown: New York
Member since: 2001
Number of posts: 17,044

Journal Archives

Attracting Wealth

We need to paint our house. We also need to rip out our living room rug and put down some kind of flooring. Weve needed to do this for almost five years. We always pledge to do this with our tax refund, but end up using it keep up with daily expenses.

My son is very sick right now. He has pneumonia. His doctor says we are on the right course of treatment, but its been several days and I dont see the kind of recovery I think I should be seeing. My husband and I were talking about it a few minutes ago and I looked around at the crappy rug (Im actually looking at it right now and thinking What color is this? Its greyer than pond water. Its browner than phlegm.) So I said to my husband, I think wed all be a lot healthier if we would tear out this damned rug and put down some flooring. And we pledged again to use our tax refund to do this, and paint the house.

I work hard and under-earn like loads of people who are as they say lucky enough to have jobs. I am a remote candidate for a better position in my field. Better means loads of things, but among them it does mean more money. I thought to myself, as we pledged yet again to use our tax refund for some basic home maintenance, If I get this job, we can easily afford to fix up the house, but if I dont, I wonder if we will end up spending our tax refund on the mortgage and food.

Then I thought, does getting this job and improving my general station in life preclude ripping out this stained sludge-water grey-brown rug and painting? Or does painting the house and ripping out the rug preclude improving my station if life? If I dont get this job, it will be very hard to save the money we need for paint and flooring, but we can do it. Were capable of doing the labor and we are capable of saving a few hundred dollars. It will just be hard. Regardless of whether I get this job, we will improve our station in life by giving our home the care that it needs and making it a healthier place to live. In doing that, I may also create little changes in myself that may attract this or another better job a healthier, happier place for me to work.

But even that is a somewhat causal explanation for what I feel is actually more mystic. I sort of feel like putting in shiny new non-dust-mite-and-allergen-harboring flooring, and putting a fresh coat of paint on the house a color we pick, a color we like! will be kind of like a ceremony. We make a sacrifice to perform this act of renewal and in doing so we demonstrate to the universe that we value health and the ability to care for each other and our surroundings. And the universe provides more opportunities for us to demonstrate our values. One way the universe provides opportunities is through wealth.

(Money is energy.)

We are in a sick economy and the primary reason is policy. We are all here at DU because we understand that political action is necessary, that we must affect policy in order to improve our condition. But we are here in ASAH because we know there are other forces at work and ways we can access power right now.

Its both frightening and encouraging to know how much the power to change my life is in my own hands. Its encouraging for obvious reasons. Its frightening because I have so many flaws. Im tired and sick. I could work harder but I want to zone out its so painful to constantly stay connected to your own life. But if you dont progress through pain, you will never get to the other side.

Im going to try. I think I work hard now. I think I have an austere lifestyle and it would be difficult to give up any more but its not true. We can use our tax refund to rip out the damned rug and paint the house. I think the entire process will be transformative. I think my family and I will attract abundance by doing this. I am ready to help to allocate such abundance in service to what I value health and the ability to take care of each other and our surroundings. (By surroundings, I do not only mean my little house, but my neighborhood, my community, and extending such reach as I am able.)

Thanks for reading all this. Its meaningful to have a place to share; i.e. you all are cool.

Good night.

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