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underpants's Journal
State Capitol Janitor Frank Surprised to Find He's Virginia's New Governor
RICHMOND, Va. — Explaining that he had no idea he was even in the line of succession to become the leader of the Commonwealth, Frank Donahue, the State Capitol’s head janitor, arrived at work to discover that he was now Virginia’s governor, sources confirmed Thursday.
"This is all a shock to me,” Donahue remarked. Despite having spent the past seven years making sure the bathrooms outside of the Senate Chamber are clean, he is now poised to become the state’s governor due to his noticeably clean background. “I had overheard about the stuff Northam, ......but I didn’t think it would lead to the guy who mops the floors around the rotunda becoming the boss. That’s one heck of a promotion.”
The former custodian and new governor-elect was last seen reading a copy of the state’s constitution while asking colleagues if they could replace the urinal cakes in the men’s restroom near the building’s main entrance on Bank Street.
https://thepeedmont.com/2019/02/07/state-capitol-janitor-frank-surprised-to-find-hes-virginias-new-governor/
Ducks and How To Make Them Pay (literary funny)
Saw this on Facebook and had to look it up. Lots of funny creative people out there.
Showing 1-1 of 1 reviews
I was very excited to see this book. I've been keeping ducks in the backyard for several years and they're a lot of work - you have to keep them fed, let them out in the morning, and put them safely into a coop before dark so that predators won't get them. And for all that, they chase you around, bite your legs and toes if you go out without shoes or wearing shorts, and clamp onto your arms and leave bruises. Sometimes they even draw blood.
So I saw this book, and I thought - "here's someone who's had similar experiences with ducks as I have, and he decided to make them pay". Well, I Was sorely disappointed. I was expecting a book explaining the duck mind and how to most effectively exact revenge from them. But no, it's all about raising them as food and for money. Those ducks have been driving me crazy, and I want to make them pay!
https://www.amazon.com/Ducks-how-make-them-pay/dp/1178319296
Ducks have been terrorizing us for centuries. Their distinctive quacking noises are a disgrace, their feathers are awful, and no one has been able to fully convince me that ducks aren’t taking our jobs.
William Cook, author of the seminal book Ducks: and, How To Make Them Pay had the right idea: It’s clear that we must do something about ducks. Since none of us will ever read Cook’s novel because it’s not a listicle, here is a listicle of things we can do to lessen the immense harm that ducks cause. We will make them pay.
Make them watch the motion picture film The Mighty Ducks over and over again.
It is a well known fact that ducks hate this movie, regarding it as a misrepresentation of what they’re all about. Too bad, ducks, you should have thought of that before you were TERRIBLE.
Play “Bills Bills Bills” by Destiny’s Child.
Ducks are super pissed about this song, and for good reason: the terminology of this song led one particularly idiotic duck to attempt to invent “automo-bills,” a new method of transportation for the duck on the go. LOL stupid ducks.
Take all the water away.
Ducks are aquatic, so this would really piss them off. We would all die of course, but it would be worth it, TBH.
Send them an invoice.
Ducks don’t have any money because they suck, but it’s worth a try. Deadbeats.
https://medium.com/@kristenkarenina/ducks-and-how-to-make-them-pay-328c903bd78b
Blackface - friend texted me a story
My old friends and I having been texting about this of course. We've known each other since little league football.
One of my friends said he attended a Lions Club fundraiser on the Peninsula (the county we know each other from) in which several parents of people we grew up with were in blackface. Performing what was basically a minstrel show. He asked his father because he didn't understand why it was supposed to be funny. His father, whom I've always thought alike Atticus Finch, explained that they were making fun of of people for the amusement of themselves.
This was probably in the late 70's maybe early 80's.
Inside Wisconsin's Disastrous $4.5 Billion Deal With Foxconn (Trump-Walker-Ryan)
A huge tax break was supposed to create a manufacturing paradise, but interviews with 49 people familiar with the project depict a chaotic operation unlikely to ever employ 13,000 workers.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2019-02-06/inside-wisconsin-s-disastrous-4-5-billion-deal-with-foxconn
“This is the Eighth Wonder of the World.”
So declared President Donald Trump onstage last June at a press event at Foxconn’s new factory in Mount Pleasant, Wis. He was there to herald the potential of the Taiwanese manufacturing giant’s expansion into cheesehead country. He’d joined Foxconn Chairman Terry Gou and then-Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker to celebrate a partnership he’d helped broker—“one of the great deals ever,” Trump said. In exchange for more than $4.5 billion in government incentives, Foxconn had agreed to build a high-tech manufacturing hub on 3,000 acres of farmland south of Milwaukee and create as many as 13,000 good-paying jobs for “amazing Wisconsin workers” as early as 2022.
For some Foxconn workers watching who’d labored at the LCD TV factory for months, the president’s rhetoric didn’t match reality. The LCD components weren’t made in the USA, according to sources familiar with the operation. They were shipped from a Foxconn factory in Tijuana. The Wisconsin plant was only handling the last steps of assembly, and some TV displays were still labeled “Made in Mexico.” Pay at the factory started at about $14 an hour with no benefits, much less than the $23 average Foxconn promised. Many people weren’t hired full time—the company filled positions with temps and interns from a local technical college. And five workers present for Trump’s speech say some colleagues from Asia were conspicuously absent from the press event. (Foxconn says it encouraged all employees to attend, and the Mexican TV parts were for testing, not indicative of future production.)
Interviews with 49 people familiar with Foxconn’s Wisconsin project, including more than a dozen current and former employees close to its efforts there, show how hollow the boosters’ assurances have been all along. While Foxconn for months declined requests to interview executives, insiders describe a chaotic environment with ever-changing goals far different from what Trump and others promised. Walker and the White House declined to comment for this story, although a Trump administration official says the White House would be “disappointed” by any reduced investment. The only consistency, many of these people say, lay in how obvious it was that Wisconsin struck a weak deal. Under the terms Walker negotiated, each job at the Mount Pleasant factory is projected to cost the state at least $219,000 in tax breaks and other incentives. The good or extra-bad news, depending on your perspective, is that there probably won’t be 13,000 of them.
The golden shovels President Trump, Foxconn Chairman Terry Gou, then-House Speaker Paul Ryan, and then-Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker used at the company’s June 2018 groundbreaking ceremony in Mount Pleasant.
Even with Walker gone, Wisconsin is unlikely to get better terms. Shortly before Evers was sworn in, the Republican-controlled legislature passed a series of rules that make it difficult for the new governor to tear up the Foxconn deal. Mount Pleasant and surrounding Racine County have invested at least $130 million in Foxconn-related expenses such as land acquisition, and the state has committed an estimated $120 million to related road improvements. In an interview, Evers says he’ll push for more transparency and to hold the company to its word, but admits his powers are “significantly constrained.” To some extent, Gou is trapped, too. Tying the Wisconsin factory so closely to Trump means he can’t just ditch the project and risk hampering Foxconn’s U.S. business.
Seriously messed up picture - Madura blocks highway to stop humanitarian aid
Venezuelan troops positioned truck trailers and shipping containers to block lanes of a major highway link with Colombia in order to prevent opponents of the government from bringing food and medicine into Venezuela.
Venezuela Blocks Highway to Stop Aid Shipment Organized by Opposition
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/02/07/world/americas/venezuela-aid.html
Fox & Friends Killmeade puts on a display of stupid*
* actually he’s planting a seed for the believers and killing air time on TV and Radio
Fox's Kilmeade: Why doesn't Trump investigate personal finances of Schiff and Waters?
https://thehill.com/homenews/media/428898-foxs-kilmeade-why-doesnt-trump-investigate-personal-finances-of-schiff-and
"Fox & Friends" host Brian Kilmeade asked early Thursday why President Trump doesn't open an investigation into the personal finances of Democratic Reps. Adam Schiff (Calif.) and Rep. Maxine Waters (Calif.), questioning how they got "rich."
"Why not investigate Adam Schiff? Why not investigate Maxine Watters? How did they become rich?" Kilmeade asked judicial analyst Andrew Napolitano.
"Because the Democrats control the Congress and they're not going to investigate their own," Napolitano replied.
"Doesn't the president have an attorney? Why doesn't the president run a private investigation onto Adam Schiff?" Kilmeade asked after some crosstalk.
"Because the president, if he's going to use the power of the government to do anything, has to do it through the (Department of Justice)," Napolitano noted.
Investigations??? Well of course there's a Trump tweet
https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/966321700588711936Is about these investigations (remember ZERO Obama era convictionsor even indictments)
Uranium One
IRS teabagger hoax
Gitmo Detention
Solyndra
Fast and Furious
Oh. Hold on. BENGHAZI!!!
Republican committees investigate Clinton and Obama
24 October 2017
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41742184
Trump himself called for or supported investigations into the Obama years for:
Here's what Congress is investigating from the Obama administration
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/21/politics/obama-administration-congress-hillary-clinton-investigation/index.html
Butter emails
FBI texts
FBI Steele Dossier and FISA
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