First time in twelve years of practice.

I wasn't present when the patient died, and I wasn't the one who pronounced him dead. But for some weird bureaucratic reason, I was required to sign the death certificate. I was his primary care provider, but I hadn't seen him in clinic for about five months. I get a death notice from one of the local hospitals every couple of months regarding one of my patients. But no one has ever expected me to sign the death certificate before.

Strange sensation.

If the anti-mask whiners can’t deal with a piece of cloth over their faces for a few hours a day, there’s no way they will be able to endure the hardships that are a daily part of real warfare.

Hell, take away their meth and their CMT, and they’ll fold like a cheap card table.

I love you all…

Who's with me?

Ask me anything.

Good to be back…

I still love you all…

Or Powerade. Or sports drinks, Monster drinks, etc.

They're absolutely terrible for you. The manufacturers spend millions in advertising to convince you that they are healthy, or at least are safe and effective rehydrators for athletes.

I had a patient the other day with a condition for which I needed to prescribe a potentially hepatotoxic medication. Naturally, I ordered a liver function test first. Turns out her transaminases, enzymes produced by an abnormally-functioning liver, were sky-high. Off the charts.

I've seen better liver function on patients with cirrhosis or Hepatitis C.

Having seen this kind of thing before, I asked her if she drank any of the following: soda, Gatorade, Powerade, sports drinks, Monster drinks, Red Bull, Rock Star, fruit juice, or non-dairy creamer.

She said "I drink Gatorade all the time."

I told her what her lab result was and the reason for it. She was horrified until I told her that her condition is reversible; simply cut out the Gatorade, and anything else on the list I gave her. I will re-check her liver function in three months, and I'm confident there will be significant improvement. The liver is astonishingly good at recovering from disease.

The best sports drink there is is water. Stick with that.

Wife/girlfriend ties or adjusts her husband/boyfriend’s tie.

I hate that!

I can tie a bow tie and know four ways to tie a necktie. I don’t need anyone to come along and do it for me.

I don’t know how often this happens in real life, but I wish they’d get rid of it on TV.

Thank goodness.

I needed that today...

Every bit of paperwork that I review in clinic gets my initials and the date before it goes in for scanning.

The reminder is saddening, but I'm glad President Biden kicked a little ass (or a huge ass, depending on how you look at it) today.

Come on; sing along; you know the words:

"I love you all..."