Atticus
Atticus's JournalDATELINE: District of Trumpistan--- Organic farmers begin 2021 distraught by a totally
unforeseen complication in their plans for the coming year's crops: there is a very serious global shortage of "guano", the bat excrement scooped from primarily South American caves and used as fertilizer in the organic farming business.
"It ain't fair!" insisted Compton "Com" Poster, who specializes in organic arugula and squash blossoms on his 60 acre plot. "Twelve years now, I have been side-dressing my plans with that bat-sh-------er, "guano" from Peru. I used 15 - 20 tons each year and it was kinda my 'trade secret, you might say. I raised great produce and I got top price for it. This year, I place my usual order and 'Insane Guano'---that's the outfit I have always ordered from---they say MAYBE they can get me a ton or two SOMETIME!
According to those 'Insane' guys," Com continued, "all of the batsh--------uh---"guano" has been bought up by the Trump legal team and the GOP Senate caucus! They use it each time they file another election lawsuit or call a press conference! I'm tellin' ya---it ain't fair!"
So, this year's arugula will be less green and the squash blossoms much more expensive, but the Republican Trump justifications will be more----"fragrant".
To former "friends", neighbors, teammates, co-workers, family members who still
refuse to openly separate themselves from the Trump cult, I quote Jim Croce:
"Tables were meant for turnin' " and "Bridges were meant for burnin' ".
Make no mistake about this---what Hawley, Cruz, Blackburn, et al are planning to do in
the US effin' Senate on January 6th is the equivalent of flopping to the floor kicking, whining, crying and screaming "NO-O-O! ME NO WANT TO HEAR 'TRUMP LOSE!' "
Honor? Honesty? Respect? Patriotism?
Fuhggeddaboudit!
DATELINE: somewhere deep in "the swamp"---More than one White House source has recently
expressed concern about the modifications that Mr. Trump has ordered be made to all water fixtures in the West Wing. Although as yet unconfirmed by this reporter, apparently all faucets, water fountains, toilet flushing mechanisms---even coffee makers---have been inverted so as to conform to "his" announcement that "up is down"!
Asked to explain the embarrassing consequences of these changes---we will not even begin to describe the restroom conditions--- a blonde who is apparently a member of the new Space Force, ( everyone refers to her as "K. Lee, the Space Cadet" ) commented that "Everyone knows that water flows DOWN, so once Mr. Trump shared his great discovery---which no one else was ever intelligent enough to discover---that "Up is DOWN", the need for the water system improvements was apparent."
When asked if her boss would be mandating similar changes nationwide, K. LEE responded "I don't respond to radical gravity enthusiasts!" and scurried away.
THE RANT LIGHT IS ON!
I am sick unto death of earnest consultants, commentators and pundits gnashing their teeth and struggling mightily to "explain" why Donald John Trump did this or said that!
Listen carefully: Trump is INSANE!
There are no "reasons"!
There is no "plan" or "scheme"!
Remember the only "rationale" this sick sonofabitch has ever offered for his conduct: "It is what it is!"
Occam's Razor, folks! Occam's Razor!
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