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Member since: 2002
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NASCAR: Ryan Newman's injuries not life-threatening following scary Daytona 500 crash

Source: WESH TV, Orlando, FL

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — NASCAR driver Ryan Newman was involved in a horrific crash on the final lap of the 2020 Daytona 500.

Newman was wrecked while leading the race and crossed the finish line with his car on its roof, engulfed in flames.

Newman's car flipped, rolled, and was hit on the driver’s side by another car, before it slid across the finish line upside down.

Newman was taken to Halifax Health for treatment. Roughly two hours after the crash, NASCAR read a statement from Roush Fenway Racing that said Newman is in “serious condition, but doctors have indicated his injuries are not life threatening.”

Read more: https://www.wesh.com/article/daytona-500-ryan-newman-crash/30972164

This is Roush Fenway Racing's statement:

Daytona Beach, Florida (February 16, 2020) — Ryan Newman is being treated at Halifax Medical Center. He is in serious condition, but doctors have indicated his injuries are not life threatening.

We appreciate your thoughts and prayers and ask that you respect the privacy of Ryan and his family during this time.

We appreciate your patience and cooperation and we will provide more information as it becomes available.


The most important scientific paper you will read today

“On the rheology of cats.” In which it is scientifically proven that cats are in fact liquid.


I can just imagine the Chiefs' White House visit

After eating enough cold hamberders to at least look polite, the Chiefs gather around Our Grate President...

"Mr. President, it is now time for the presentation ceremony. Under ordinary circumstances, we would have had an official jersey prepared with your last name and the number 45 on it.

"These are not ordinary circumstances. We received millions of emails and letters from residents of our beautiful state. Let me read one of them: 'Dear Coach Reid, I went out and bought a computer just so I'd be able to send you this...' and that's not the only message we got that said this very thing.

"Our fans and friends all across the state begged us, pleaded with us, to present to you what we are about to present.

"Mr. President, this is a map of Missouri with Kansas City circled in bright red Sharpie, and with a Chiefs logo right where Arrowhead Stadium is. We ask you to study this map and learn from it, so you might be able to learn that, regardless of the name of the city we are in, we don't play football in Kansas."

As seen in a Mexican newspaper...

So here I sat perusing the internet while waiting for a huge sign to print out, and I found this. Take it for what you will

- - - - -

Steady Work • High Pay • Great Danger
Mexican Ministry of Internal Security

The American president Donald J. Trump, who you should not call “estupido pendejo” even though he is, has recently begun a project to build a huge wall between our beautiful country and the United States. The construction firms selected to construct the wall were chosen for their corruption and willingness to give money to President Trump rather than their ability to perform the work. This has led to the terrible situation of the wall starting to collapse into Mexico.

President Obrador finds it unacceptable that Mr. Trump’s wall could collapse and crush a Mexican citizen to death, and has ordered the military to take steps to keep this from happening.

The Minister of Internal Security is now taking applications for people with the skill and bravery to install shoring along Mr. Trump’s wall to keep it from falling completely into Mexico.

Successful candidates will use flatbed tractor-trailer rigs, well-drilling equipment, concrete trucks, forklifts, cranes, scissor lifts and SMAW (stick) welding equipment to attach steel girders at a 45-degree angle between a well-placed footing and a bracket welded to the wall.

The length of this contract is Indefinite. The minister believes that because the wall is being built by corrupt contractors we will never be done propping it up.

Qualifications include one year of experience in any of the skills needed to construct this project. Applicants with multiple skills will be viewed favorably. All applicants must have been citizens of Mexico before Trump was elected.

Due to the multiple and extreme dangers presented by this work, which include high temperatures, water shortages, venomous and aggressive animals, President Trump’s supporters, and the everpresent risk of the wall collapsing on the workforce, the rate of pay is 1000 pesos per hour.

Interested persons should apply with resume at their local Army Recruiting office.

Discuss amongst yourselves...

Did Trump announce the repeal of the Obama-era school lunch reforms on Michelle Obama’s birthday in retaliation for the Obamas’ Oscar nomination?

Trump's first night

It seems that after the impeachment trial there was a criminal trial in which Trump was given twenty years in Sing Sing.

He arrived at the prison and was processed in, then was taken to his cell block to meet the shot caller.

“Mr. Trump, there is no violence or prison rape here so you can stop worrying about those things. But you’ve come on a special night.”

Later that night, Trump was lying in his bed still scared shitless when he starts hearing people yell out numbers. He went to the shot caller and asked him what was going on.

“We’re telling jokes. We’ve all been here so long we know all the jokes there are by heart, so we numbered them. Now we can tell a lot more jokes in one night. We’ll get you a copy of the list of jokes tomorrow.”

Trump thought that was a neat idea and decided to get in on the fun. So he screamed out at the top of his lungs, “fifty-six.”

No one laughed.

He screamed out “fifty-six” even’ louder. No one laughed.

Trump turned to the shot caller. “Is fifty-six a bad joke?”

“No, Mr. Trump, fifty-six is a really good joke. Problem is, some guys just can’t tell a joke.”

Is there a hard tape of Trump's "perfect call"?

If so, we must subpoena that recording and have it re-transcribed three times: once by a private sector scribe who is a Democrat and hasn’t read Trump’s script, once by a private sector scribe who is a Republican and who hasn’t read Trump’s script, and finally by the National Security Agency, who employs the government’s best transcribers. Then we need to compare the three transcripts to the one Trump keeps telling people to read.

I suspect Trump’s transcript is phonier than a three-dollar bill, and having the tape re-scribed by people not associated with Trump will prove it.

The Boston Globe movie reviewer really, really hated the Cats movie


Today's Shea news: Terrorist Republican compares his situation to Trump's


After yesterday's news...


in which Matt Shea (Washington state House member from Spokane Valley, and obviously a Republican) was marooned on the steps of the Legislative Building...

he has responded with a Facebook post:

"Like we are seeing with our President, this is a sham investigation meant to silence those of us who stand up against attempts to disarm and destroy our great country. I will not back down. I will not give in. I will not resign. Stand strong, fellow Patriots.

"Thank you to everyone for the massive outpouring of support prayers! I will continue to defend the Constitution against tyranny and fight to protect our God given rights to life, liberty, property and the ability to defend the same. Blessings to you. Matt."

The last and only expulsion from the Washington Legislature happened in 1933. I suspect another one will happen next month.
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