jmowreader
jmowreader's JournalA VERY hard Omeleto film to watch, but interesting
OMG! I'm under investigation for tax evasion and money laundering!
Well, according to this email I just got. Lemme show it to ya...
We sincerely apologize for sending you this sensitive information via e-mail instead of certified mail, post-mail, phone, or face-to-face conversation. It's due to the urgency and importance of the security information of our citizens. I am the deputy director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, Paul M. Abbate. We intercepted and seized two consignment boxes at the John F. Kennedy International Airport, New York, NY 11430, coming from a foreign I checked the content of the two consignment boxes and found they contained the sum of US$4.1 million dollars in value of certified payment bond. Also, the two consignment boxes had documents with your name on them as the receiver of the package. After questioning the diplomat that accompanied the two consignment boxes into the United States, we learned that he was to deliver these two consignment boxes to your residence as an inheritance/winning prize payment due to you.
The two consignment boxes' paperwork lacks the PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE forms. We confiscated the two consignment boxes and released the diplomat. According to section 229, subsection 31 of the International Commerce Regulators Code Enforcement Guidelines, the sealed envelope lacks PROOF OF OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE AND LEGAL DELIVERY PERMIT CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE. Since the content is valued financial material of such an amount by the joint team of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and Homeland Security, you're to reply for direction on how to procure the two consignment boxes and be relieved of the charge of tax evasion, which is a jailable offense under section 12 subsection 441 of the tax code. We will also be asking the IRS to launch an investigation into money laundering if you do not follow our instructions.
You are required to reply within 72 hours. At that point, I will walk you through the process of clearing and claiming the money. Failure to comply may lead to your arrest, interrogation, or being prosecuted in a court of law for tax evasion and/or money laundering. You are also instructed to desist from further contact with any bank(s) or person(s) in the United States, the United Kingdom, or any part of the world regarding your fund because your payment has been confiscated by the Federal Bureau of Investigation here in the United States.
Yours in Service,
Paul M. Abbate
The Deputy Director of the FBI
The scambuster websites are on this one. Apparently you have to buy the two documents they claim are missing for $550.
Yeah, I think I'm gonna let this one go.
Next week in Muskland
Monday: Chief Twit Elon Musk fulfills his pledge and reinstates Trump and all the other RWNJs who’ve been TOS’d since 1/6/21. Trump immediately sends 300 gloating tweets.
Tuesday: Five million liberals cancel their Tesla preorders and 20 million liberals leave Twitter.
Wednesday: Chief Twit Musk says “free speech is more important than money,” refuses to kick Trump back off the service even after Trump tweets a picture of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez with arrows pointing to her vital organs overlaid.
Thursday: Tesla announces that money is also important and fires Musk…by tweet. Twitter’s board gives him back his money and gives him five minutes to leave the premises.
Friday: Musk is seen at a Home Depot store asking the appliance clerk, “what’s the biggest refrigerator you have in stock, and how much would it be if all I wanted was the box?”
No one saw this coming: Darrell Brooks guilty on all charges
https://www.wisn.com/article/darrell-brooks-verdict-waukesha-parade/41777418?utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Email%20-%20Local%20Breaking%20News&utm_source=635955c5c21e37f0a2e56202b9706db4&brzu=3908f787cbfc45b06a9ff892dc714fff37161c2a5bf44d056f53b8ccae04014c&lctg=5cef2fc7014dc16d0adea62aSix counts of first degree intentional homicide (each person he hit who died)
61 counts of recklessly endangering safety (each person he hit who survived)
Six counts of hit and run causing death
Two counts of felony bail jumping
One count of battery
Wisconsin law mandates life without parole for each of the first six counts. They’ll probably max him out on the rest of the charges.
It never comes out well when a pro se defendant asks a witness “do you see the person you say did this in the courtroom” and the witness replies with “yeah, you’re standing right there.”
The defense has rested in the Darrell Brooks trial
Darrell Brooks is the individual who now stands trial in Waukesha, WI, for driving his red SUV, which now appears to actually be his mom's red SUV, through last year's Christmas parade. He killed six people and injured dozens of others.
So far: After the Sovereign Citizen defense and the Chewbacca defense didn't work for him, he's trying the Audi 5000 defense: he now claims the throttle body on his car malfunctioned and kept him from stopping. That didn't go over very well either: the prosecutor looked up the car's VIN and discovered there were no active recalls on it.
Tomorrow comes closing statements. After that, Judge Dorow will issue jury instructions - this is predicted to take at least a full day - and then the jury will recess for the five minutes it will take to find this asshole guilty on all charges, an hour to get pizzas delivered and eat them, and another hour to drink coffee so it doesn't look like they only deliberated for ten seconds on each charge.
You realize women are going to die in the red states due to those damned abortion laws
Worse, the damned Republicans are going to say it's "God's Will" that they did.
Republicans suck.
I have a small but important question about Social Security
Social Security is an insurance program that pays out benefits to the elderly and the disabled.
It is funded through a convoluted process that starts with every person paying a moderate tax. It is a flat tax of 12.4 percent on the first $147,000 of your income, half of which is paid by your employer. This money is loaned to other government agencies, which return it with interest. The returned money is then used to pay beneficiaries.
So, here's what I'm wondering. The government uses the Social Security taxes for its normal operations. If the Republicans get rid of Social Security like they want to, the Social Security taxes will also end. Do the Republicans plan to increase income taxes enough to compensate for the loss of Social Security taxes, and if they do how in heck are they going to sell this plan to Joe and Jane Citizen?
Be careful when you check your kids' candy this year
If the only thing they get back are candy corn and Necco wafers, they're going to know you're up to something.
Ohtani does something no other player has ever done
https://www.mlb.com/news/shohei-ohtani-qualifies-for-league-leaders-as-pitcher-and-hitterMajor League Baseball has season leaderboards for hitting and pitching, both of which must be qualified for.
To qualify for the hitting leaderboards, you need 502 plate appearances - which is a bit over three PA per game if you played all 162 games.
Qualifying for the pitching leaderboards requires 162 innings of work, or one inning per game spread over the season.
Shohei Ohtani of the Los Angeles Angels has 663 PA and 162 innings of work. No player has ever qualified for both leaderboards in the same season.
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