jmowreader
jmowreader's JournalMemorandum to Lauren Boebert
1. I read your recent tweet applying the Republican Party's favorite new insult, "grooming," to a television show about teenage drag queens.
2. I am here to clear up any misconceptions.
3. Being a teenage drag queen is not "grooming."
4. Showing your dick to teenage girls at a bowling alley is "grooming."
5. The girls who were shown the dick are victims of grooming.
6. Marrying the man who showed you his dick is...there aren't enough words to properly explain how fucked-up that is.
I am currently turning a corned beef brisket into a pastrami
Last month was St. Patrick's Day, which is always on 3-17...mnemonic for "wait three weeks because the seventeen tons of corned beef the store bought is gonna be on a half-off sale." I mean, come on: how many people eat that more than once a year anyway, and how many eat it even then?
Right now the thing is 30 degrees shy of being done, but here's what I did.
Step 1: Go to store and buy corned beef really cheap because no one wants it. I paid $2.49 per pound, "reduced from $6.99."
Step 2: Soak this atrocity overnight. I decided to get all experimental and stuff, and soaked it in cheap red wine. One of two things is going to happen here - either this is going to be the most awesome thing anyone ever ate, or two bottles of $6 cabernet sauvignon are going to be out of circulation once and for all. Either result is justifiable. I didn't feel like driving all the way to Spokane to get Two Buck Chuck, but that would have worked too. I used my 8-quart stainless steel spaghetti pot to do the deed.
Step 3: Drag the 200-pound Traeger pellet grill out of the garage and set it up on the patio. Make sure to fill the hopper with pellets and keep a second bag handy as you will refill your pellet hopper at least once during this.
Step 3a: Wonder, as I always do, why the cheap bastards at Traeger don't put wheels on all four legs.
Step 4: Do not, whatever you do, try seasoning this. There's already enough seasoning in the meat for anyone.
Step 5: Set the probe alarm to 205°, the chamber temperature to 240°, and push the "ignite" button. Install the grill.
Step 6: Shove the probe into a good thick point on the brisket and stick it into the machine. Close the lid. Go away for many, many hours...I put this in at 11:30 after the rain stopped, it's almost 6, and it's nowhere near done.
You're sitting there going, "won't this thing be harder than a rock with that target temperature?" Nope. The high target temp breaks down the collagen in the meat, which tenderizes it.
Once I hit target temp, the next steps will be to let it rest on the counter for half an hour (fortunately, my cat doesn't get on the counter) and slice it thinly before reporting back how it is.
MI state senator sends "your child scheduled for gender reassignment surgery" fundraising email
https://michiganadvance.com/2022/04/21/sen-barrett-fundraising-ask-claims-your-child-is-scheduled-for-gender-reassignment-surgery/
Meet Tom Barrett, resplendent in his fashy fade.
Mr. Barrett, who is running for Congress in the newly redrawn 7th Congressional District, first sent this email:
Appointment Date: Tomorrow at 9 AM
If you would like to CANCEL this appointment because you do not believe in teaching young children about dangerous transgender ideologies, please sign your name NOW. President Biden is forcing 5-year-olds to learn about gender reassignment surgeries, gender identities, and other radical ideas.
Every American needs to step up TODAY and stop this sick and twisted ideology from poisoning our children.
He's changed it to something a micron less offensive, but still bad.
So...let's see if I understand what DeSantis did correctly...
Governor DeSantis' government passed a thoroughly repugnant anti-LGBT law.
Disney said the law was an atrocity.
So, to punish Disney Governor DeSantis cut Disney's taxes by $163 million a year and forced the taxpayers in the counties Walt Disney World is in to shoulder about $2 billion in Disney's debt.
I would ask just exactly what in the holy fuck is wrong with Ron DeSantis, but that's inexplicable.
No shit department: FAA rules Trevor Jacob intentionally crashed airplane
https://www.aviationweekly.org/news/faa-rules-youtuber-trevor-jacob-purposely-crashed-airplaneThis one was so obvious: In November 2021 professional maniac Trevor Jacob boarded his 1940 Taylorcraft airplane. He was wearing his skydiving equipment and his aircraft was covered in GoPro cameras. The engine stopped running during the flight and Mr. Jacob immediately bailed out. He made a video of him coming down that looked quite a bit like something out of Vin Diesel’s daredevil movie XXX. He landed, walked back to his plane to retrieve all the cameras, then posted a video on YouTube entitled I Crashed My Plane.
The entire YouTube aviation community was in agreement he did this on purpose.
Today we learn the FAA agreed with their assessment. Their letter of April 11 states he violated federal aviation regulations and operated his plane in a careless or reckless manner so as to endanger the life or property of another. The most the FAA can do to you is to revoke your pilot’s license, and they did that. But there are other agencies that can send you to prison, and I think this will happen.
How you know you're old
I read the Coachella line-up. There are about 100 bands on it. I recognize SIX, and I've heard at least one complete song from only one of them - The Hu, a Mongolian metal band who sing only in their native language.
Juan Soto becomes 43rd player to hit ball into Allegheny River
https://www.mlb.com/news/juan-soto-home-run-leaves-pnc-park?partnerId=zh-20220417-585216-mlb-1-A&qid=1026&utm_id=zh-20220417-585216-mlb-1-A&bt_ee=0WP56oJO3rHm4OSI6czM1Hjwqzb0qCbjGe28wUwkhBCKHLApXmiwMsK1FT%2Bc%2BHQS&bt_ts=1650204028543The ball went through a tunnel, bounced down a set of stairs, over a three-foot wall and into the river.
Soto’s Nationals went on to lose the game by two runs.
We need a Texan with a wide format printer and a contour cutter
You remember the “I Did That!” stickers showing President Biden with an outstretched hand that people were supposed to stick on gas pumps.
We need the same sticker with Greg Abbott’s face on it that people can stick on price signs in the produce aisle.
Musk's huge problem re the Twitter hostile takeover attempt
The hard right is salivating over the prospect of Elon Musk buying Twitter and allowing all the RWNJs who were kicked off for violating the Twitter TOS to rejoin the service.
If I remember correctly, Mr. Musk makes cars that are pretty popular among liberals.
So…what happens to Mr. Musk’s empire if he lets Trump, MTG and Juanita Broaddrick back on Twitter, and all the liberals who were buying Teslas decide they’d rather buy other brands of electric car?
The "best" part of Abbott's truck inspection BS
Greg Abbott has decided to have his highway patrol perform "North American Standard Inspections" aka "Level 1 Inspections" on every truck crossing the Mexican border. He is not allowing the cops to inspect the inside of the trailers for contraband.
Hence, if a trucker arrives at the border with a trailer full of guns, bombs, drugs, pedophiles, weapons of mass destruction, illegal immigrants or whatever the hell else the Hard Right is pissed off about this week, and the truck can pass a Level 1 inspection...it'll go right through, no problems whatsoever.
The Hard Right calls what the TSA does at airports "security theater." Abbott's shit is more like a security three-ring circus.
Profile Information
Member since: 2002Number of posts: 50,554
