Ron Paul Elected Ruler Of Planet Inhabited By 1 Billion Tiny Ron Pauls

NEW TEXAS, GALAXY OF LIBERTARIUS—In the largest political victory of his career, Rep. Ron Paul (R-TX) was elected Supreme Ruler of the planet of New Texas today, a remote, fiscally conservative planet populated by 1 billion tiny versions of himself.

"My people, I stand before you today to announce that I, Ron Paul of Earth, accept this position as your planet’s benevolent ruler," said Emperor-elect Paul, smiling before millions of 18-inch-high Ron Pauls, who alternately applauded, cheered, and chanted, "You are our supreme leader," at a victory rally held minutes after the Ron Paul News Network declared him the projected winner of the 2012 election. "From this day forth, the planet of New Texas shall be a veritable utopia for Ron Pauls of all sizes."

Standing below the 50-foot solid-gold Ron Paul statue that adorns the city plaza of Paulville, New Texas' capital city, Paul thanked the crowd and promised to "do right by the people of New Texas, who made the right choice at the polls today." Ten minutes of sustained applause later, Paul took a moment to raise his campaign manager, Ron Paul CCN-14139-093, to eye level and personally thank him for "knocking this one out of the park." Paul then thanked his wife, Carol, and their five children who, not being Ron Paul, will live in orbit around New Texas.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ron-paul-elected-ruler-of-planet-inhabited-by-1-bi,30286/

This round of delicious tasting tears are on Victoria

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Another case of pure Right Wing projection

Obviously, Republicans, you lost because you're not conservative enough

Not one of your candidates ran on a platform that called for the repeal of the 13th, 14th, 15th and 16th amendments and you lost… What does that tell you?

Run REAL conservatives next time.

Not one of your candidates called for building an electrified moat around America, filled with laser equipped sharks and you lost… What does that tell you?

Run REAL conservatives next time

Not one of your candidates called for teaching toddlers armed combat with automatic weapons and machetes and you lost… What does that tell you?

Run REAL conservatives next time

Not one of your candidates called for changing election laws that mandated two votes for old, rich whites guys for every one vote for everyone else and you lost… What does that tell you?

Run REAL conservatives next time

Not one of your candidates ran on a platform which defined that life begins at erection and you lost… What does that tell you?

Run REAL conservatives next time

Instead you ran guys that waffled on the question of rape, waffled on endless war, waffled on taking the vote away from blacks, latinos and women, waffled on sending jobs overseas, waffled on waffles and you lost… What does that tell you?

Next time, you need to do better…

Don't run candidates who are nothing more than RINOs and wannabes…

Run REAL conservatives and make it interesting.

We'll give you a good fight anyway.

Then "evolve" already!

Dear, Bill O'Reilly…

Election Night