The worst fears of conservatives have come to fruition after New Zealand’s approval of gay marriage suddenly and unexpectedly resulted in polygamy, bestiality and inter-species marriage.

“We were warned about the slippery slope but just didn’t believe it,” lamented New Zealand’s president Peter Jackson. “If only we had listened to conservative christians, my daughter would not now be married to two horses and a rooster. Truly the fabric of civilization is unraveling before our very eyes!”

Reports of nearly 500 human to fish weddings such as the one pictured above are flooding in, with the number expected to increase. Richard Dawkins went online with apologetic words as he reported that due to spawning methods, Fish-People will soon outnumber humans in the region by 30 to 1, taking our jobs and eventually learning to feast upon the flesh of man until our species is no more and the Fish-People rule the Earth. Attempts to overturn the destructive gay marriage law have been unsuccessful as the law was sealed into place with a magic Maori love song.

“We fucking told you,” said Pope Francis, “We god damn fucking told you this would happen”.

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