I am 71 years old, and have some very precious daughters and sons. As a woman facing her mortality, I will tell you this. What hurts me most now, is knowing how my children will hurt after my death. If I had one wish, I would wish that they would not hurt, but, instead, remember what they loved about me every day, and shower their loved ones with those good feelings that I bring them, not the sad ones. I would want them to especially remember the funny times we had, the laughter ringing in the house; and would want them to know how special their laughter is to me even after death.

However, I know that this is easy to say and very hard to do. We are still suffering from their father's death, even though it has been over three years. Grief has its stages. Just remember, this is stage 1, and there is an abatement to grief eventually. Then the memories are very important. Your Mom would certainly give you her permission to be relieved that she is out of pain, to laugh as much as you can, and remember the precious as well as ironic moments. Cry all you want and do not give anyone permission to limit your time of grief. It belongs to you and your precious Mom.