By the nature of this website, we block right wing and republican opinions

so when you make a free speech/anti-censorship argument to defend sexism and homophobia, you are being highly specious.

Unless you are actually advocating that we open up this website to all opinions, then you support censorship on du.

So please don't insult my intelligence with this extremely specious argument.

Thank you.

who acknowledge that the experience of being a woman differs from being a man in society.

Most men do not live under constant threats of potential sexual violence. Most men don't live under stereotype threats of under-performance in significantly important domains, such as math and science. Most men don't worry that they are being paid less for equal work. Most men don't worry that they won't be promoted, because women are still considered poor fits for upper management. Most men don't experience sticky floor and glass ceilings.

But most men have important women in the lives (wife, daughter, mother etc.) and a lot of men believe in egalitarianism, most human beings are capable of empathy and for that I think most men don't diminish the importance of feminism, women's rights and discussions on how to get to a more egalitarian and fair society.

And for this, despite individual men who have mocked these issues as unimportant, I want to thank most men on DU, who do not diminish the importance of these issues to women.

so thank you guys especially if you consider yourself a feminist and thank you if you support feminism and thank you for taking our lives seriously.

also a huge thanks to President Obama, for this quote "I ran for President to put the same rights, the same opportunities, and the same dreams within reach for our daughters and sons alike"

Firstly, it's an inaccurate portrayal especially of white men, since they are not really losing power at all. Look at upper management, prestigious careers in private industry and government, salaries etc and by all metrics white men still have substantial power.

The issue of losing power as a group is psychologically threatening to a lot of people and so this narrative makes me a bit uncomfortable. The rise in hate groups since Obama has taken power has been astronomical and in many ways, I fear for minorities, women and LGBT people because of this narrative of loss.

I don't mean to be a negative nelly or insinuate that most white men are particularly bothered by this narrative, I just fear for the ones that do find this very meaningful. I wish there was a less threatening way of celebrating increasing diversity, instead of framing this as a loss of power for white men.

Anyway, this is my two cents. I am off to finish my schoolwork now

A great article in the NYtimes arguing that men are not indeed becoming the new oppressed gender.



http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09/30/opinion/sunday/the-myth-of-male-decline.html?pagewanted=1

Really interesting read and somewhat a balanced view in which the author does not ignore the progress that women have made

Thom and Jenna

So i used to post pictures in the Lounge all the time. hen i stopped for a while, but i did want to say hi to new loungers and old loungers, friends and assorted peeps. What better way to do it than with a picture thread.

Picture of me taken on saturday being really chill after weeks of finals!!!



Hope you guys are doing well. I am about to grade 80 papers. PLEASE feel bad for me

A friend of mine is performing a show about coming out as bisexual and then as transgendered to his family. I have seen the show before and it's AMAZING! I urge you guys to go see it if you can

http://www.philly.com/philly/entertainment/arts/20120327_InterAct_festival_focuses_on_identity_issues_-_racial__sexual___ethnic__political.html



and to buy tickets http://www.interacttheatre.org/2011-2012-feature-3-draw-the-circle.html

I really urge to see it if you can.

(cross posted in LGBT)

is that i hate it. i would much prefer to have a group where most of my identity could be vested in. i hate being frequently disappointed in groups that i otherwise feel affiliation towards.

When there is racism or xenophobia or sexism in LGBT spaces, i feel rejected.

When there is homophobia or sexism in south asian groups, i feel rejected.

when there is racism, homophobia or xenophobia in feminist spaces, i feel rejected.

Having multiple oppressors just makes it than much easier to feel alienated from so many spaces. Having your loyalty contested (am i more feminist or more queer activist or more committed to immigrant rights) is tiresome.

having a person who hosts this place who is so tolerant of transphobia, makes this place hostile to LGBT people.

of course i dont expect the majority of this forum to take this issue seriously, still i do want to make it clear that i feel hosts of this forum should not be bigoted or defend bigotry.

"Grief turns out to be a place none of us know until we reach it.” Joan Didion.

I knew I was going to lose Debjani long before I lost her but I was not prepared for what I felt when it actually did. I didn’t realize how profound death is, how permanent and how unrelenting.

There is no chance to say that one thing you really want to tell her today. No one to receive the text message saying, “Incidentally I think I see my first wrinkle”. There is not another chance to get a glass of wine together. No chance to ask her what color should my wedding dress be? Death is unrelenting.

You think you understand the permanency of death, but till you’ve lost someone so close to you, you don’t.

It turns out that grief can be bottomless, just when you think you’ve hit the nadir of grief, you realize you’ve just skimmed the surface. How much pain, how much anger, how much bitterness you can feel are things you don’t realize.

You don’t get that you will literally reel in shock for months. You don’t realize that you’ll program her phone number into your new phone, because you don’t expect to be the crazy person who feels that when her best friend returns, you’ll need the number again.

You don’t think about how you’ll walk around envisioning your own death and how it could impact those you love. How many things you’ll avoid doing to prevent your loved ones from the kind of pain you now feel. You’ll avoid getting on motorcycles even though you love bike rides. You know you’ll never go hand gliding or white water rafting.

These things may have been on your bucket list but your bucket list will change. Hand gliding will be replaced by “spend more time with the people you love, because you don’t how long they have left”. You’ll look at life through the lens of death. You’ll finally understand mortality.

I struggled with this post. Should I have written something that told you more about my best friend or should I write about how the year after her feels. I know it may sound self-pitying but how profoundly I felt the loss of Debooh and how much I changed from it, is a testament to our friendship. This is the best way I could convey what her death anniversary meant to me and what she meant to me.