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lumberjack_jeff

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Gender: Male
Hometown: Olympia, WA
Member since: Tue Nov 4, 2003, 09:02 PM
Number of posts: 33,224

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Child abuse, intimate partner violence, and reciprocity.

Intimate partner violence has been studied extensively, and one of the most repeatable conclusions of that research is that most IPV is reciprocal, and that women (especially adolescents) are at least as likely to use violence in their relationships as men are. The difference is that as that cycle of violence escalates, the women involved are more likely to suffer significant injury, and especially if the violent relationship is reciprocal.

Another well established result of IPV studies is that kids in violent relationships are more likely to themselves perpetrate violence against their partners when they grow up.

Domestic violence isn't a women's issue, it is a social issue. So long as kids continue to live in households in which violence exists, they will repeat that behavior when they grow up.

There's an argument to be made that the kind of chronic low level violence that never erupts into injury and incarceration is MORE damaging to kids psychological wellbeing because it sets the expectation that violence in your relationship is without consequence.

At Christmas, my son and his live-in girlfriend (they live about an hour from us) were bantering and joking in the kitchen about something silly. I saw her make a quick motion out of the corner of my eye when he dropped to the floor in pain. She had apparently punched him in the balls. I walked over to see what was going on, and they were both laughing, but he was in actual pain. I haven't had an opportunity to talk to him alone about this but I will as soon as possible. A violent relationship only requires one of the parties involved to be acculturated to the idea that hitting your partner is okay.

The entire spectrum of violence must be addressed to prevent it from being normalized in the next generation.
Posted by lumberjack_jeff | Wed Jan 1, 2014, 01:05 PM (25 replies)
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