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Member since: Fri Sep 17, 2004, 03:59 PM
Number of posts: 67,797

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Real, confident atheists don't think it's offensive to say "Merry Christmas." We think it's adorable



The whole "War on Christmas" started because back in the late 1990s/early 2000s desperate attention whores like Bill O'Reilly heard about some stores that said their employees needed to say, "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" because, you know, they're stores and don't wanna piss off prickly Jews, Muslims, atheists, and whoever else. It was stupid, sure, but so is worshipping an invisible sky wizard (and so is going to war because you think your invisible sky wizard is better than someone else's invisible sky wizard and fuck them for daring to say that the place where their totally fictional did some totally fictional magical thing should belong to them. Or whatever. It's all just nonsense).

The point here is that while Trump was tweeting insane shit about how he "led the charge against the assault of our cherished and beautiful phrase" and while a Trump PAC was putting out a propaganda video with a little girl "fanking" the "pwesident" for "wetting" her say, "Mewwy Chwistmas" again, a video that'd make Joseph Goebbels roll his eyes from how obvious it is, the rest of us were thinking, "The fuck? When couldn't we say, 'Merry Christmas'?" Because, see, we always could. Sometimes we choose not to because we want to be polite to people who don't celebrate it. Sometimes we say, "Happy Holidays" when we're talking about Christmas and New Year's and Hanukkah and Kwanzaa whatever else the fuck is celebrated that we gotta list because it's shorter.


It also works fine when someone gets upset about Kwanzaa, calling it a "made-up holiday." Motherfucker, they're all made-up holidays. Every single religious holiday is just made up based on someone's fictional book of faith. The only holidays that aren't are the ones that celebrate real, living, breathing people, like Presidents' Day or Martin Luther King Day. Still, I've always liked Christmas because a lot of people genuinely try to be nicer. And there's eggnog. And gifts. What's not to like? Hell, the decorations, even the religious ones, can be awfully lovely. So hope you had a merry one. Or happy, if you're British.

As desperately as conservatives want this "Merry Christmas" thing to be, well, a thing, it's not. Every Jew and Muslim and Hindu I've ever met has no fuckin' problem with "Merry Christmas." A few dicks might, but a few dicks will always be dickish. And some of those dicks exploit minor dickishness in order to show that they are major dicks.

Trump taking credit for "bringing Christmas back...bigger and better" is like standing in a rainstorm in a boat in the middle of a reservoir that was always full and declaring you have ended a drought. As much of a liar as you are, there will always be people who believe there was a drought and that you made it rain. But then again, that's how we got religions.

the rest:


Bernstein: "There's really only 1 institution that has been tainted & that is the Trump presidency"

Watergate reporter Carl Bernstein responds to Trump's attacks calling the FBI 'tainted': "There’s really only one institution that has been tainted through these months, and that is the Trump presidency."

"It’s tainted by the president’s lies, by his disrespect for American institutions operating under the law with traditional American democracy and the instruments thereof. He’s contemptuous of those instruments." -Carl Bernstein

"If the president is as confident as he says, if this investigation is going to end very soon with him being exonerated, he ought to welcome all of this instead of attacking constantly. He’s doing a grave disservice to our democracy." -Carl Bernstein.


Trump says he sleeps four hours a night.

Sleep acts as a cleansing agent to remove the brain’s toxins. That's why doctors say we need at least 7 hours per night -- "not five or six hours because you think you can handle it."

You can live for about three minutes without air, three days without water and about 21 days without food. But in between food and water, there is something else critically essential: sleep.

It turns out you can only live about 11 days without sleep. You can give it a try if you don’t believe me, but, just like the other essentials, after day 11 you will probably die.

Sleep is one of the most important things we overlook, because most of us don’t consider it vital. The problem isn’t you — it’s your brain. Brain scientists really don’t know what they are talking about when it comes to sleep. For far too long, we have known too little about why we sleep. Instead of acknowledging that fact, scientists have made up fairy tales to explain our need for sleep. They have guessed that sleep is necessary for creativity, rest, rejuvenation and recovery.


When it comes to the brain, we have no artificial way to replicate nature. That’s where sleep comes in, by reducing the brain’s size to make room for the mental mouthwash. The process of sleep very elegantly acts as a cleansing agent to remove the brain’s toxins.



NARRATOR: He went golfing.


Perfect "Merry Xmas" tweet reply to Trump

Isn't this a very holy and spiritual night for you? Where is your family? Why are you tweeting? But as long as you're reading this, fuck you.




I though of old-time gangsters and I google “who finished every sentence with ‘see’?” It was Edward G. Robinson who was in the film Key Largo. Then, I google images of Edward G. Robinson. And, just to cover my bases, I read his Wikipedia page, which I do for everyone I’m going to cover or who inspires a cartoon. Honestly though, the true inspiration is probably the caricature of him in the 1946 Bugs Bunny cartoon “Racketeer Rabbit.” I also googled gangster and 1920s slang for “party,” but I couldn’t find one.


Wow, who would have thunk-I decorated my tree the same way - BECAUSE - I have toddlers in the house.

When The GOP Decorates The Tree

GOP tax bill was a scam to hoodwink average folks, hook up the wealthiest Americans. This proves it.

Trump to voters at a Missouri rally:

"This is going to cost me a fortune, this thing, believe me. Believe -- This is not good for me. Me, it's not so -- I have some very wealthy friends. Not so happy with me, but that's OK. You know, I keep hearing Schumer: 'This is for the wealthy.' Well, if it is, my friends don't know about it."

Trump told friends at Mar-a-Lago:

'you all just got a lot richer' after tax bill passed: report






2017, The Year In Review

Year In One Image, by Pulitzer-winner Mike Keefe.

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