He may not speak mexican, or even cuban, but he does speak Jesus.

JC, if ever he did exist, AND if he had some (il)legitimate genetic connection with that all-seeing fairy god in the sky, AND he came back from the dead, undead, or whatever they call their make-believe place up there, and visited our 7,000 year old, flat earth, he would take one look at Hucksterbee and either cough up a heavenly lung laughing at his idiocy, or look with dismay, regret, and incredible sadness at what a failure and travesty was committed in his name, and decide to travel to other galaxies, never to visit this flat earth ever again.

Apparently, from across our border with Syria, 2,000 ISIS have set up a camp in Texas.

I wanted to comment further - but this renders me speechless.