December 11, 2015

Pets and anti-freeze.

Unlike most liquid chemicals, they say anti-freeze has a very sweet, pleasant taste to it. Thankfully, human beings have the foresight to know that despite something having a sweet taste, if it's labeled "anti-freeze", most people are smart enough not to drink it. Unfortunately, cats and dogs are not blessed with that sort of knowledge, and if they come across a puddle of leaking anti-freeze underneath a car, sometimes they will be drawn to the sweet taste and they will drink their fill of it. They are completely unaware of its lethal effects.

On my Facebook page, I was unfortunate enough to come across someone who shared a video by an individual who goes by the name "Catfish Cooley." I won't bother linking to his page because he doesn't deserve that sort of publicity, but if you are so curious, you've got the Google. While I've never heard of him before, apparently he's of that oxymoronically titled category "internet celebrity." In other words, he's completely talentless but he does have a webcam with Facebook and Youtube accounts and he'll talk into it, and people will inexplicably follow him and hoist celebrity status upon him. On his videos--and I could only stomach a few of them--you'll find the most vile, disgusting statements regarding President Obama, Muslims, guns, blacks, and numerous other topics. And of course he supports Donald Trump. The fact that he's visually repugnant (a squatty, shirtless man who slurs his words) is the very least of his flaws.

And yet he has nearly 80,000 followers on Facebook. I'm still stumped if this is a Poe's Law deal, something so absurd yet completely ambiguous as to whether it's supposed to be satire or serious. But from the looks of the comments on his videos, there are hundreds of people who clearly take his diatribes very seriously. People think he's "folksy" and "speaks his mind" and "is not afraid to be politically incorrect." It's the exact same thing that's pushing the narrative in the Donald Trump phenomena. People eat this shit up like it's some sort of delicious candy. It's the cats and dogs lapping up that sweet, sweet anti-freeze, completely blind to the fact that what they are indulging upon is slowly poisoning them.

People who prey using fear and hatred and anti-intellectualism are inexplicably being celebrated as great minds in society. And it's reaching epidemic levels.

Idiocracy has officially come to America. And it didn't take 500 years for it to happen, either.

November 5, 2015

Overheard at the GOP Base Returns and Exchanges Department:

"Jeez, I hate doing this. Listen, I'm going to have to return this one. No, don't get me wrong. This one's great. It says all the right, crazy whacked out shit that I want to hear. I absolutely love the whole anti-immigrant thing, the self-aggrandizing, the petty insults, the ultra-thin skin, the Twitter meltdowns, the whole package."

"The problem though is.....well, the neighbors hate it. They say it keeps them up all night screeching about 'I'm going to build a big wall!' and 'Loser!' and 'Huge!' and all that sort of stuff. And not that I actually give a shit about my neighbors, but their whining annoys me, and well, I really don't want to have to deal with that."

"So I'm looking to exchange this one out for something else. You know, something that says things that are just as bat shit crazy as the things this one says, but says them in a calmer, more approachable, more likeable tone. You know, one who you don't immediately want to slug between the eyes the moment you see it. So what else do you have?"
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"Oh......okay. Yeah. That technically works, but......the problem is, that's last year's model. And I'm just afraid that if I go around parading last year's stuff, I'll just be laughed out of the room. They'll just think I'm living in the past. I mean, I might as well be posting Bitstrips to my Myspace Page about doing the Harlem Shake while talking on my flip phone, you know what I mean? Anything else?"
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"No, I said something that didn't want to make people punch it in the face."
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"Hmm.....I guess it could work. I mean, the whole 'Let's shut down the government, come on, it will be fun' thing--I love it. Plus the whole poor timing low blow jokes against political opponents, I really dig. Still....there's the whole Hispanic Canadian thing. What the hell's that about? Is that even like a real thing? I mean that's just....weird. Right? What person even thinks of that sort of stuff?"

"Do you have anything else? Maybe something that comes from a non-political background that, while impressive, has absolutely no bearing whatsoever in one's ability to actually lead a government?"

"Oh, and do you have anything that comes in black? Supposedly that sort of thing goes a long way in making me look less like....well, me."
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"Perfect."

July 19, 2015

Let's not forget Trump's quote was not only about McCain.

"I like people who weren't captured."

While he was directing his comment in context towards McCain, his comment stung towards anyone who may have been captured on the battlefield.

So regardless of what one might think about John McCain or the GOP, it's just a completely shitty thing to say.

It fits Trump's M.O. though. He's always talking about "winners" and "losers."

He'll happily identify himself as a "winner" despite having multiple business failures over his career. I guess being able to insulate his own personal wealth while thousands of his employees lost their jobs makes him a "winner" in his own mind.

And anyone who dares to cross his path will inevitably be identified as a "loser" by Trump on his rambling Twitter feed.

So in Trump's idiotic, feeble little mind, servicemen who manage to avoid capture might be the winners. Those who are captured and held as POWs, however, are the losers.

Donald Trump is a horrible, horrible human being.

June 2, 2015

On Joe Biden

The tragic death of Vice President Biden's son Beau has me thinking about the man, his personality and his legacy.

The public perception over the past six years has too often been to pain Joe Biden in a "goofy uncle persona", as a guy who's friendly and warm but has a reputation of thinking before he speaks at certain times. While not entirely untrue, this sells the Vice President way too short.

The fact of the matter is that he has been serving the public for over 40 years. He's remarkably well-versed on both foreign and domestic politics. He's endured multiple tragedies and setbacks, from the death of his first wife and daughter, to suffering a crippling brain aneurysm in 1988, to criticisms that he allegedly plagiarized portions of a stump speech in his 1988 campaign, and most recently the death of his elder son Beau. And yet he's managed to survive it all with remarkable grace and humility.

I've had the opportunity to meet Vice President Biden. Okay, perhaps "meet" is too glamorous a description of what took place, but we did have a brief interaction with one another. Back in 2006, then Senator Biden was the headline speaker at a political dinner function at which I was volunteering. Shortly before the dinner's speeches began, I left the main banquet hall to use the restroom. On the way to the restroom, I saw Senator Biden walking in the hallway surrounded by several handlers. As I crossed paths with his entourage, I smiled and said, "Good afternoon, Senator." He looked back at me, and with a warm smile and a cheerful voice, he replied, "Good afternoon, young man!" And that was it. Nothing more. As I said, it was barely an encounter, but it was a memorable one for me nonetheless.

Now, the cynic might poo-poo that mundane encounter as completely meaningless (and cynicism about politicians is unending, that fact brought home as I am currently in the midst of a "House of Cards" binge watch over the past couple of weeks). But call me crazy, I think Vice President Biden's greeting came off as completely genuine, that the guy genuinely likes interacting with constituents and ordinary people. I would not be surprised if people who've had the opportunity to interact with the man on a much more substantial basis than my own came out feeling the exact same way.

I'd be very surprised if Vice President Biden runs for President in 2016. I was skeptical of that possibility even before his son's death, but now even more so. However, if given the chance, I think he would have been a fine, compassionate and quite competent leader of this country.

And for those who continue to insist to perpetuate the "goofy uncle persona" about Biden, I'm not completely insulted. Given that he was preceded in office by an individual who was gave off the perception of being a cold-hearted, cruel, emotionless cyborg, having his place taken by a goofy uncle might very well have been exactly what this country needed.

May 4, 2015

What Pam Gellar did is akin to....

....someone chumming the water of a popular beach in order to warn people about the dangers of sharks.

On Edit, because sadly I have to:

http://english.stackexchange.com/questions/94703/the-difference-between-an-analogy-and-a-metaphor

No, I am not calling Muslims sharks.

April 30, 2015

Trying to understand current race relations without historical context is the height of insanity.

(Caveat: I am white. So I can't avoid the fact no matter what, I'm coming at this from a white person's perspective, and inevitably someone might accuse me of suffering from white guilt, even though no one in my family ever owned a slave and half my family was barely in this country long enough for the Jim Crow era. Still, I think I've studied enough history that I believe I know enough to speak out on the topic.)

So often I've heard the question--usually directed towards blacks and minorities although usually not expressly so--"Why do people still bring up issues of race? Can't we get beyond black and white?"

And on the surface, it might be a fair question. Consider this: If someone hypothetically had zero knowledge of history--say they were an alien from another planet--and they came across this country and they heard people talking about how people with one skin pigmentation see things differently than people with people with another skin pigmentation, they'd think we'd all be completely insane. Such a biological difference would seem so utterly trivial, so minute that it would seem--without historical context--nonsensical. I mean, besides a random corny blonde joke, do people obsess over hair color? Do people obsess over eye color, or a person's dominant writing hand? Yes, we're all technically One Human Family and none of these things should ever matter.

The problem that we cannot get around, however, is that in terms of skin, those things did matter. We live in a country that all throughout its colonial gestation and for nearly the first century of its existence allowed the enslavement of individuals exclusively with black skin. Parts of this country, including its capital city, were very literally built with slave labor. And then after slavery was finally abolished (only after the most tumultuous 5 year period in the country's history), for another century we saw laws on the books that legally sanctioned the segregation and disparate treatment of people based on skin color. And when those laws were challenged, people were beaten, sprayed with hoses, attacked with dogs and even hung from trees. Did we really expect that Brown vs. Board of Education or the Civil Rights Act of 1964 would act as a light switch that would instantly turn off all of these problems that had been festering in this country for centuries?

The fact that African Americans in this country in its present date disproportionately make up a greater percentage of people living in poverty or incarceration is no coincidence at all. But we're told over and over again that the past is in the past, slavery is long gone, Jim Crow is long gone, etc., so having race "matter" is only causing further division.

In 2015--only half a century removed from LBJ signing the Civil Rights Act of 1964--we're told race shouldn't matter. The problem is, for roughly the first 200 years of the country's existence, we were told that race did matter. We were told race mattered over and over and over again. That fact was drilled into our heads. Race was everything for that period.

In clinical terms, that's what's referred to as bipolar disorder.

I love America. I love the City of Baltimore, a city that I have a deep familial connection with and without any irony whatsoever my favorite city in the country. That we still have to have a discussion about race in 2015 infuriates me to no end. But history demands that we do, so we can attempt to reach that "more perfect union" that has been sought for over 200 years.

April 9, 2015

If there's one thing I simply cannot stand, it's poverty shaming.

Recently a person on my Facebook page indignantly posted her dismay that when driving by the local food bank, she saw a woman pick up food and put it in her late model car. The obvious insinuation there was that this individual had the money to spend on a new/newer car but couldn't be bothered to pay for her own groceries, and perhaps even that she was somehow gaming the system.

Of course, such a knee-jerk reaction (with emphasis on jerk) immediately discounts other logical possibilities:

1. The woman was picking up food not for herself, but for someone else who didn't have access to a car.
2. The woman didn't own the car herself but was borrowing it from a friend for need of transportation
3. The woman had recently been able to afford to buy a new car but due to a sudden change in circumstances (job loss, illness, etc.) was in need of financial assistance.

And there are other possibilities as well. People in poverty can still drive cars, even newer model ones. That doesn't make them poor, nor should it disqualify them from financial help.

The bottom line here is simple: If you don't know the circumstances behind what you are seeing, kindly shut up. It's none of your business and it's inappropriate to pass judgment on someone who very likely is struggling immensely and whose life may be a living hell. I'll freely admit that I sometimes give a dollar to the person on the street corner with a "Hungry, Please Help" sign. Yes, I know there's the possibility that person may use that dollar for alcohol or drugs instead of for food. Yes, it may be possible the person actually isn't homeless and is playing a scam. But you know what? It's a dollar. A dollar of mine that probably would go towards buying a candy bar that would go to my waistline. If the person is in fact scamming me, that's on their conscience, not mine. I won't miss that dollar, and if the person is in fact in need of help and would use that dollar wisely, I'd much rather give them that dollar than snidely pass judgment on them.

Now there's efforts afoot in numerous states to prohibit people on food stamps from buying certain items of food such as steak or seafood. Because God forbid they or the family eat the same food as the rest of us.

Some of these people, I swear, I think they think you aren't actually poor unless you are wearing a potato sack and eating nothing but bread and water. And if you are wearing a potato sack and eating only bread and water, they'd still knock you for being "lazy". It's a total lose-lose.

What makes some people feel the need to be so callous to pass such judgment, and to assume that if you're poor, you're either a fraud or lazy and unmotivated?

March 3, 2015

OMG! These pictures of puppies and kittens are soooooooo adorable, aren't I right?

OMG! These pictures of puppies and kittens are sooooooo adorable, aren't I right?

By Jon Pliger
Senior Investigative Reporter
publishmycrapandcallitnews.com News
March 3, 2015


Hey guys! We all know puppies are so incredibly cute. And we also know that kittens are just beyond adorable. But what if I were to post pictures of puppies and kittens......together? CUTENESS OVERLOAD!!!!!!!! So let's check out some positively pretty photos of our furry little friends. Prepare to be awwwwwwed!







Oh, and did you know the moon landing was a hoax? No, really! You see, NASA knew it couldn't really land on the moon because they knew the mutant moon monsters who had landed in Area 51 (you know, the guys who look like Bigfoot) would come back to kill us all for invading their territory. So instead, they commissioned a film crew and shot the landing at a movie studio in Burbank.





Playing the part of Neil Armstrong was singer Elvis Presley, who landed the role in good part due to his 1956 cover of the classic Rogers-Hart song "Blue Moon." But in 1977, Presley threatened to expose the hoax, so the government locked him in the basement of World Trade Tower 7.





Presley remained in Tower 7 until 2001, when the government imploded Tower 7 in order to destroy the evidence. The elder Presley was then relocated to Afghanistan where he was made to impersonate terrorist mastermind Osama Bin Laden.



Oh my goodness! That puppy is telling the kitten that he loves her! Have you ever seen anything so precious?



Don't believe me? You can ask fellow investigative reporter and national treasure Robert Prary. He'll tell you the exact same thing! You can believe him because he once wrote something important thirty years ago!





So in conclusion, we can all agree there's just nothing cuter than puppy dogs snuggling up with kittens. And that's why you should never stand in the direct path of government chemtrails. Oh, and ask me about my grandkids! They do this cute little thing where they dress up in adult clothes and sing "You Are My Sunshine". You just have to see it !

The preceding was published in its entirety with permission of the author and under the specific authority set forth in Hustler Magazine v. Falwell, 485 U.S. 46 (1988).

March 2, 2015

You know, I thought you'd never ask. Just a few examples.

A blatant, "Pants on Fire" level lie according to Politifact:

http://www.politifact.com/punditfact/statements/2014/mar/19/facebook-posts/united-states-spent-5-billion-ukraine-anti-governm/




First of all, there was no coup in Ukraine. Secondly, if by fascists Pilger is referring to members of the Svoboda and Right Sector parties, neither party has any representation in Ukraine's governing cabinet.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Government_of_Ukraine




"Vladimir Putin's people" didn't lose 22 million in World War II. The now-defunct Soviet Union lost over 20 million people. Of course, the Soviet Union comprised 15 separate Republics, only one of which was Russia. Vladimir Putin (who was born 7 years after the end of World War II) is president of the Russian Federation. And estimates show that the Russian SSR lost approximately 14 million people (both civilian and military), or 12.7% of its population. The Ukrainian SSR actually lost a greater proportion of its population than the Russian SSR in World War II (16.3%), as did the Belarussian SSR and Armenian SSR.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II_casualties_of_the_Soviet_Union

Now, if Pilger is insinuating that Vladimir Putin's "people" includes the 14 other former Soviet States as well as Russia, well, that's quite telling.



Here's a good one. First of all, of course, there was no coup. Secondly, NATO never attempted to "seize" the Russian Black Sea Fleet--I don't know where he's coming from there. The 1954 transfer of Crimea from the Russian SSR to the Ukrainian SSR was an internal Soviet matter, but Crimea had never, ever been part of the modern Russian Federation, and in 1994 Russia agreed via treaty that notwithstanding the existing Black Sea Fleet bases, Crimea was Ukrainian territory and it would respect Ukraine's sovereignty.

Funny thing about the Crimean referendum and the so-called "international observers." These were not observers from the UN or OSCE or any other legitimate election monitoring agency. These "observers" came from the "Eurasian Observatory for Democracy and Elections", a sham Russian based group whose leaders have ties to far right organizations (funny that Pilger trumpets them while supposedly decrying fascism, don't you think?):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eurasian_Observatory_for_Democracy_and_Elections

Of course, the biggest lie by Pilger is that "There was no invasion (of Crimea by Russia)" which is simply idiotic. Of course there was a Russian military invasion of Crimea. Well-organized and well-armed, regimented military units--far beyond the capabilities of any local militia that would have the opportunity to organize in literally four days--seized the local parliament, airports, harbors, Ukrainian military bases and other portions of Crimea beginning around February 26, 2014. A timeline of events in the run up to the infamous March 16, 2014 referendum:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_the_2014_Crimean_crisis

Here's a report from The Guardian the day the local parliament was seized

http://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/feb/27/ukraine-pro-russian-gunmen-seize-crimea-parliament-live-updates?view=desktop#block-530efb46e4b0ddf5cbe7ba63



And finally:




In fact, the events in Odessa on May 2nd were indeed clashes between two sides and not just a one-sided slaughter of pro-Russian separatists as Pilger claims. While the official pro-Russian line only wants to focus on the fire at the trade union building itself, the events did not start there. In fact, the incident started when a pro-Ukrainian demonstration was attacked by a pro-Russian group, and at various points gunmen identified as pro-Russian were seen shooting at and killing several on the pro-Ukrainian side. Only after that initial event was there the later confrontation at the Trade Union building. Even at the Trade Union building, sources said there were Molotov cocktails thrown at the building and from the building, indicating it was a two-sided clash between the groups.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_May_2014_Odessa_clashes



So, as you can see, Pilger's account on Ukraine is full of documentable falsehoods. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to lay it out.

February 19, 2015

One year ago today, Victor Yanukovych began packing his valuables in preparation of leaving Ukraine.

He wouldn't actual leave--via his own personal fleet of helicopters--until the early morning hours of February 22nd. Only after he left did the Ukrainian Rada (parliament) vote to remove him for dereliction of duty.

But it was the three day time period that is so fascinating. Within that window, there was the deaths of several dozen protesters at Maidan on February 20th, the circumstances still somewhat controversial and unclear. Then there was an EU brokered deal signed on the evening of February 21st that would have given Yanukovych the authority to remain in office until early elections could be held.

The fact that these events preceded Yanukovych's ultimate departure but not his preparations to depart cast serious doubts on any claims that either of those events served as a tipping point to the ultimate change in regime.

And the relative ease and length of time in which Yanukovych had to pack up his considerable treasure (three days) casts even more doubts on the claim that Yanukovych was running due to a imminent threat to his safety, which some use as the basis that Yanukovych was removed as a result of a "coup" perpetrated by individuals not clearly identified by proponents of that theory.

Surveillance video from Yanukovych's mansion beginning from February 19th and running up until the early morning of February 22nd shows the large amount of oil paintings, antique valuables and other items being loaded up into moving vans. More video captures Yanukovych's fleet of helicopters flying off, with the former president ultimately ending up in Russia.

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A good read about Yanukovych's preparations can be found here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/worldviews/wp/2014/03/12/what-did-yanukovych-take-with-him-as-he-fled-his-mansion-paintings-guns-and-a-small-dog-according-to-new-video/

The three day time period--and the proper order of events--are very important to keep in mind when analyzing the events leading up to the regime change in Ukraine one year ago.