Debate Could Test Two Romney Weaknesses, Talking and Thinking

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—With the first Presidential debate just two days away, G.O.P. nominee Mitt Romney has been working intensively on two skills that have eluded him throughout the campaign: talking and thinking.
According to one aide, much of Mr. Romney’s debate preparation has involved rehearsing a slew of prepackaged “zingers,” with mixed results: “We gave him what we thought was a foolproof line about the budget deficit and he somehow turned it into a crack about gay Mexicans.”
Reportedly, Mr. Romney’s practice debates have gone worse than expected, with the former Massachusetts governor getting trounced by a variety of opponents, including the Apple personal assistant Siri.

At a joint campaign appearance in Ohio today, Ann Romney attempted to lower expectations for her husband’s performance at this Wednesday’s debate: “When Mitt starts working his mouth and goes off on some weird tangent about who knows what, please just tune him out. God knows that’s how I’ve survived all these years.”
Mr. Romney also downplayed his debate prospects, telling supporters: “President Obama could very well be the greatest debater in human history. He’s Abraham Lincoln, Clarence Darrow, and the Roman orator Cicero put together. Next to that silver-tongued bastard I’m going to sound like someone with a head injury.”

Later in the day, Mr. Romney’s campaign released a statement apologizing to people with head injuries.


Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/10/debate-could-test-two-romney-weaknesses-talking-and-thinking.html#ixzz283nvuN2C

I know you are but what am I?


Takes one to know one.


Nanny Nanny Bo Bo


"You're not the boss of me."


What the H - E - Double Hockey Sticks!


Look at those clouds. It’s beautiful,”. “Look at those things.”


“I'm Mitt Romney and yes, Wolf, that's also my first name.”


When you have a fire in an aircraft, there’s no place to go, exactly, there’s no — and you can’t find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft, because the windows don’t open. I don’t know why they don’t do that. It’s a real problem.



It’s a real problem.


Dennis Miller has been hanging out with Mitt lately so expect his input on zingers

"You're so stupid, you think Dom Perignon White Gold Jeroboam goes well with beluga caviar-encrusted filet mignon!"

Check it out.... Joe is gonna play it again on Monday to prove he was right. He's commenting like mad at the site.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/morning-joe-mocks-romney-for-something-that-didn

I remember that he was the go to guy blog for Fox, CNN and sometimes MSNBC.

Now When I check the Drudge report most of the lying headlines are combined with the statement:

'and the media doesn't pay attention'........LOL

I don't have a TV but it seems since he died, the site doesn't have the power that it once did. Of course he got invited to appear on all the News channels. I'm just curious on which right wing site is on top
of the news pundits list now?


Besides Politico whose getting the airtime these days?

thanks.

François Hollande, the Socialist President of France, is apparently quite aware that Americans hate only one thing more than the snooty French. And that is: snooty French socialists.

Hollande, who recently unveiled his controversial plan for a 75% income tax rate on people making more the equivalent of $1.3 million per year, was asked by reporters at the UN General Assembly this week whether he was backing either candidate in the U.S. presidential election. The self-aware Hollande pointed out that, in America, “as you’d imagine, if a socialist supported one of these candidates, it would cost him dear,” adding “I suppose I should endorse Mitt Romney.”

Jokes aside, Hollande said he was not officially endorsing either candidate. “I’m not saying that to get embroiled in the American electoral debate,” he said. “But it’s true that between President Obama and what I’m representing here today, France, there are common goals.” (François, stop helping!! Stick with the Romney endorsement!!)


http://www.thedailydolt.com/2012/09/29/socialist-french-president-francois-hollande-cleverly-endorses-mitt-romney-wink-wink/

Clay County Republican campaign volunteer makes controversial call
Woman tells residents President Obama is a Muslim, will take away Medicare



You don't want Obama, you really don't want Obama, because he will get rid of your Medicare. You might as well say goodbye to it," the volunteer said.

What she said next is raising even more concern.

"I don't know if you've done any research on Obama or not, but he is a Muslim, he does got a socialistic view on the economy, the government, the whole nine yards," the volunteer said. "If he had his way, we would be a socialistic county."

The man who recorded the call in Polk County is a Republican who wants to remain anonymous. He traced the call back to Republican headquarters in Clay County. He gave the recording to a Tampa radio station, WMNF 88.5 FM, which aired the conversation.

"I thought it was pretty lousy," the man, in a phone interview, said of the volunteer caller's comments. "Especially the couple on there, they were an older couple and (the woman was) basically lying to them. That did not sit well with me."

Leslie Dougher, chair of the Clay County Republican Party, said the Republican Party is sorry this call occurred.


http://www.news4jax.com/news/Clay-County-Republican-campaign-volunteer-makes-controversial-call/-/475880/16780666/-/klhpiaz/-/index.html

George W. Bush posts better favorability ratings than Mitt Romney in new Bloomberg survey


For all the talk about whether Mitt Romney should distance himself from George W. Bush –and the policies of the last GOP White House — a new survey shows that the former president actually has better favorability ratings than the Republican nominee.

A Bloomberg News National Poll released Wednesday has Bush receiving a favorable rating from 46 percent of those surveyed and an unfavorable rating from 49 percent. That’s compared to Romney’s 43 percent favorable and 50 percent unfavorable.




But it also shows how Bush — following the trend of other former presidents — has seen his popularity improve since leaving the White House, when his favorable numbers in some surveys hovered around the mid-30s.

The ratings are an improvement for Bush from even earlier this year, when a CNN/ORC poll found that Bush ranked as the least popular living ex-president. And as Ari Fleischer, Bush’s White House press secretary from 2001 to 2003, noted on Twitter Thursday, the numbers are the former president’s “best level in years.”




The survey, conducted Sept. 21-24, has an error margin of plus-minus 3.1 percentage points.


http://trailblazersblog.dallasnews.com/2012/09/george-w-bush-posts-better-favorability-ratings-than-mitt-romney-in-new-bloomberg-survey.html/

Insurance Company Celebrates 50 Billionth Fucking Over Of Customer

?1986


CANTON, OH—Overjoyed Cigna executives celebrated the health insurer’s 50 billionth fucking over of a customer Thursday, personally surprising 56-year-old spinal trauma victim Clyde Gershon with champagne, confetti, and hundreds of multicolored balloons as they denied his most recent disability claim.

The wheelchair-bound Gershon, who has required an expensive regimen of pills and physical therapy since a 2010 car crash, was greeted at his front door by cheering, party-hat-wearing members of Cigna’s senior management, who posed for pictures while presenting him with an oversized cardboard “Claim Denied!” letter explaining that he was judged fit to return to work and would lose all coverage at the end of the month.

“We did it! We’ve completely and utterly fucked over a customer for the 50 billionth time," exclaimed CEO David Cordani, drawing a vibrant round of applause as Gershon, gaunt and dejected, stared blankly off into the distance. “Ruining this many lives is an accomplishment no one ever could have dreamed of back in 1982 when Cigna was founded. And today, I can proudly say we have not only achieved it, but inflicted an incalculable amount of mental anguish along the way.”

“So congratulations, Mr. Gershon, you poor son of a bitch,” he continued, raising a flute of Dom Perigno. “On behalf of myself and the rest of our 30,600 employees, I hope you find some other way to pay for your medical care, because you are now royally fucked!”



snip..



http://www.theonion.com/articles/insurance-company-celebrates-50-billionth-fucking,29709/

These are the ones I missed but you can find alll the other ones with links at the end.
Here are some that may be unfamiliar to ya



“I had catfish for the second time. It was delicious, just like the first time.”

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2012/03/the-two-romneys.html#ixzz27hE9xRd4

"This president's done something I find hard to understand. Ever since FDR, we've had capacity to be engaged in two conflicts at once," Romney said. "He's saying, 'No, we're going to cut that back to one conflict.'"

"I'm Mitt Romney—and yes Wolf, that's also my first name." — Mitt Romney, getting his own name wrong; his first name is "Willard," and his middle name is "Mitt"

"I get speaker's fees from time to time, but not very much." —Mitt Romney, who earned over $374,000 in speaking fees in one year according to according to his personal financial disclosure.

"I'm not familiar precisely with what I said, but I'll stand by what I said, whatever it was." - Mitt Romney (

"I'm happy to learn that after I speak you're going to hear from Ann Coulter. That's a good thing. I think it's important to get the views of moderates." - Mitt Romney (


To people wearing plastic ponchos: "I like those fancy raincoats you bought. Really sprung for the big bucks." - Mitt Romney (



http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRomneySays/?count=50&after=t3_10g8ez