April 24, 2013

A common story to some organizations...Everybody, Somebody, Anybody and Nobody

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody
and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that
Somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did.

Somebody got angry about this, because it was Everybody's job.

Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that
Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what
Anybody could have done!

April 24, 2013

A clean joke about ...... "Religion"

A man arrives at the gates of Heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"
The man says, "Methodist."
St. Peter looks down his list, and says," Go to Room 24, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."

Another man arrives at the gates of Heaven.
"Religion?"
"Baptist."

"Go to Room 18, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."

A third man arrives at the gate
"Religion?"
"Jewish."

"Go to Room 11, but be very quiet as you pass Room 8."

The man says, "I can understand there being different rooms for different religions, but why must I be quiet when I pass Room 8?"
St. Peter tells him, "Well, the Catholics are in Room 8, and they think they're the only ones here."

April 22, 2013

Maybe you should duck this joke...

A duck walks into a bar. And he says to the bartender "Got any grapes?" The bartender says "No, I don't have any grapes." The duck walks out, sorely disappointed.
So the next day, he walks back into the bar, asks the same question, gets the same answer.
The day after, he walks back into the bar, and again, asks the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?"

The bartender, having still not figured out why this duck seems to think he may have some grapes, says to the duck, "No, and if you come back in here tomorrow and ask me if I have any grapes, I will nail your bill to the bar!"

The duck frowns, turns around, and walks out of the bar. So the next day, the duck walks back into the bar, and asks the bartender "Got any nails?"
The bartender says, "No."
So the duck says, "Got any grapes?"

April 21, 2013

It;s fun and happy...Do Re Me..from the Sound of Music..

You won't be the first to watch it..but it made me smile..happy...from a play..Sound of Music..and a movie..too...


The Sound of Music.... Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein...a famous team... wrote the music and the words to this song...



The Sound of Music, Rodgers and Hammerstein's last work together, told the story of the von Trapp family. Starring Mary Martin as Maria and Theodore Bikel as Captain von Trapp, it opened on Broadway at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre on November 16, 1959, garnering much praise and numerous awards. It has been frequently revived ever since. The show was made into a film in 1965 starring Julie Andrews as Maria and Christopher Plummer as the Captain. It won five Oscars, including best picture and best director, Robert Wise. Hammerstein died in August 1960, before the film was made, so when Rodgers wrote two extra songs for the film, he wrote the lyrics as well. The Sound of Music probably contains more hit songs than any other Rodgers and Hammerstein musical, likely because of the phenomenal success of the film version, which was the most financially successful film adaptation of a Broadway musical ever made. It also contained many memorable songs, including the title song, "Do-Re-Mi", "My Favorite Things", "Climb Ev'ry Mountain" "So Long, Farewell", "Sixteen Going on Seventeen", and "Edelweiss".

&feature=player_embedded

April 20, 2013

Another Joke.

Two Doctors

Two doctors opened offices in a small town and put up
a sign reading "Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatry
and Proctology." The town's fathers were not too
happy with that sign, so they changed it to "Hysterias
and Posteriors." This was not acceptable either, so
they changed the sign to "Schizoids and Hemmorrhoids."
No go, so they tried "Catatonics and High Colonics."
Thumbs down again, so they tried "Manic-depressives
and Anal-retentives." Still not good, so they tried
"Minds & Behinds." Unacceptable again, so they tried
"Lost souls and Ass Holes." Still no go. Nor did
"Analysis and Anal Cysts", "Nuts and Butts", Freaks
and Cheeks" or "Loons and Moons" work either, sot they
finally settled on......
Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Odds and Ends

April 19, 2013

Joke: The Power of A Woman..

The power of A Woman

There were 11 people hanging onto a rope dangling from a helicopter. Ten
were men and one was a woman. They all decided that one person should
get off because if someone didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who would go, so finally the woman gave a really
touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others,
because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children,
giving to men, and not receiving anything in return.

When she finished speaking all the men applauded.
..... NEVER underestimate the power of a woman.

April 19, 2013

Ex Chief of Staff to Confirm Bachman Financial Allegations

Source: Talking Points Memo

Andy Parrish, former chief-of-staff to Rep. Michele Bachmann's (R-MN), is expected to break his silence on allegations made by another aide that her 2012 presidential campaign violated Iowa Senate rules in making improper payments to its state chairman. The Star Tribune reports:

Until now, Parrish has been identified by the committee only as “Witness A,” Gilmore said.

“The time has come to confirm that ‘Witness A’ is Andy Parrish, and he’ll be providing an affidavit with supporting material that completely supports the representations previously made by Peter Waldron,” Gilmore said.


Read more: http://livewire.talkingpointsmemo.com/entry/ex-chief-of-staff-to-confirm-bachmann-finance?ref=fpb

---

Breaking the Rules??? Maybe Breaking the Law...?

April 18, 2013

Short Joke...about her 40th Birthday..

A middle-aged guy is out to dinner with his wife to celebrate her fortieth birthday.

He says, "So what would you like, Sadie? A Jaguar? A mink coat? A
diamond necklace?"

She says, "Bernie, I want a divorce."

He says, "I wasn't planning on spending that much......"
___________________________________________________________________________________________

April 18, 2013

Lord Wolfson, CEO of Next, Donates 3.5 Million in Bonus to Employees.

(Great Britain)

Huffington Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/17/lord-wolfson-donates-bonus_n_3101799.html

He could’ve bought a sweet vacation home or at least started saving up for a $52 million cake draped in diamonds, but a British CEO decided instead to give his hefty bonus back to his employees.

Lord Wolfson, CEO of clothing retailer Next, announced in an email that he was giving his 2.4 million pound, or $3.7 million, bonus to his employees, the Telegraph reports. He told his workers that it was a “gesture of thanks and appreciation from the company for the hard work and commitment you have given to Next over the past three years and through some very tough times.”

The 45-year-old businessman had earned the money through a share matching plan, which began in 2010.

But this isn’t the mogul’s first foray into charitable giving.

April 17, 2013

Illinois House Approves Medical Marijuana

Source: Chicago Tribune

By Ray Long and Rafael Guerrero
Tribune reporters
3:08 p.m. CDT, April 17, 2013



The Illinois House today approved a measure to let people use marijuana for medical purposes, giving the proposal its best chance of becoming law in recent years.

The House sent the bill to the Senate on a 61-57 vote. The Senate previously has passed similar legislation.

Proponents say the legislation, which would set up a four-year pilot program, would be the most restrictive in the nation. Seventeen states and the District of Columbia have approved some form of marijuana use for medical purposes.

The legislation, sponsored by Rep. Lou Lang, D-Skokie, had come close in the House but previously fallen short. Passing the House was viewed as the biggest hurdle in the legislature because the Senate previously has passed a similar bill, though not this year.


Read more: http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/chi-illinois-house-debates-medical-marijuana-20130417,0,3778883.story