December 5, 2012

A joke about the , " Fortune Teller.".

During a recent outing in New Orleans, a woman sneaked off to visit
a fortune teller of some repute..
In a dark and hazy room, peering into a crystal ball,
the mystic delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to say
this, so,
I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will
die a violent and horrible death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the fortune teller's lined face,
then at
the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few
deep
breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the
fortune teller's dark gaze, steadied her voice, and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

December 4, 2012

There is a new Papa Johns near me...I will never go there..nt

December 1, 2012

Judge Sentences Tim Durham to 50 Years In Prison for Defrauding Investors

Indystar.com

http://www.indystar.com/viewart/20121130/NEWS02/121130008/

Deceit. Greed. Arrogance.

Those were the three words a federal judge said best describe Indianapolis businessman Tim Durham and his scheme to defraud about 5,000 investors in Ohio-based Fair Finance out of more than $200 million.

Then she sentenced him to 50 years in prison, which essentially is a life sentence for Durham, 50.

“Mr. Durham, you were raised better than that,” U.S. District Court Judge Jane Magnus-Stinson said during Durham’s sentencing hearing Friday. “You’re educated. You’re specially trained in the law. All of that was jettisoned because you wanted a lifestyle that, quite frankly, I don’t know how you kept track of.”

A federal jury convicted Durham of 12 felony fraud counts in June. His associates, James F. Cochran, 57, and Rick D. Snow, 49, also were convicted of some of those charges.


Durham and Cochran, who owned Fair Finance, were accused of using the company as their personal bank to make loans to themselves and their family and friends. Snow, the company’s chief financial officer, was accused of helping them cover up their scheme.
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The second and third pages of the story tell of some of the investors who lost their life savings. Also, Durham never admitted any fault in the scam and said it was "business conditions" that caused the collapse of the compainies..

here are more links on this story:
http://www.businessweek.com/news/2012-11-30/ex-national-lampoon-ceo-tim-durham-gets-50-years-prison

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/30/timothy-durham-national-lampoon-ceo_n_2221412.html

December 1, 2012

a doctor joke...

> Dr John Hartman, passed away at 98, after a long successful
life...A kind and well known
> heart surgeon, his only faults were that he was always impatient,
and
> felt that he deserved special treatment due to his
> position.............
> He is waiting in line to get into heaven, waiting is something he
> loathes. He runs up to Saint Peter, and complains..."Do you know who
> I
> am. I want admittance immediately.."
> St Peter looks up and says, "You are Hartman, the doctor, I am
> afraid you will have to wait your turn to be processed. Here in
> heaven, everyone waits patiently and takes their turn..You will get
> in
> eventually..".(that day, St Peter was understaffed, of course, the
> line
> was extra long) Hartman is furious, but goes back to his place in
> line, very angry having to wait.
> At that moment, a 27 year old intern, in his loose fitting
> garment,
> all dirty and bloody, runs past the line, and St Peter waves him thru
> into heaven without any hesitation.....
> Hartman is furious, and runs up to St Peter, and says,,,What right
> do you have to let that intern in, and make me wait? What is wrong
> with you?"
> St Peter, looks up at Hartman with odd smile..."Oh that isn't an
> intern, that is G-d..Every once in a while, he dresses up like an
intern
> and
> goes down to earth and plays doctor.........
>

November 29, 2012

A joke about a difficult problem...

A man in his 60s was working with a metal detector in an isolated park in San Diego. He comes upon a vase, and rubs it. Out comes a genie who says, "I've been in there for centuries, so I got to go and catch up...you get one wish only.."

The man says, that is easy...please build me a highway from San Diego to Honolulu...Gene says.."got to check that one out with the other genies and see if that can be done...back in a moment.."

Gene comes back in a short time, and says..."I held a conference and got up to speed on highways and such...It cannot be done, 2500 miles of concrete, steel, rest stops, gas stations.. etc..not possible..What do you want one anyway..? Why don't you fly there?"

The man says, "I get air sickness when I am on a plane for 5 minutes and I get sea sick on a boat for 5 minutes..that is why..
...I have always wanted to see Honolulu before I die...."

Genie says..impossible..you get another wish....

The man says..Ok, if you cannot build the highway..I must explain..My first wife will not talk to me, and neither will my three daughters by that wife...My second wife will also not talk to me, and neither will my daughter, but my son will..I keep trying but nothing works..So now, my third wife is talking about divorce...My wish is, "Could you please tell me in a single short sentence, how I can understand women?
I would appreicate that more than anything..Thank you...

Genie bows his head very knowingly after thinking about it for a while and says..." I really understand this very clearly. Yes indeed ..clearly...."
"Now, about that highway, two lanes or four"?

November 28, 2012

A joke about a .... smart blonde..

Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very
> attractive blonde woman arrived and bet
> twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
>
> She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm
> completely nude."
> With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and
> yelled,
> "Mama needs new clothes!"
> Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!" She jumped up and
> down
> and hugged each of the
> dealers.
> She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
> The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
> Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
> The other answered, "I don't know, I thought YOU were watching!"
> Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

November 24, 2012

I Got one correct..rare indeed..I posted this on December 18, 2011

It could be a landslide for Obama and Democrats

Last edited Sun Dec 18, 2011, 12:46 AM USA/ET - Edit history (3)

1. Obama Got us Out of Iraq
2. Republicans indeed protect the One Percent..It takes time for that one to get through. IT GETS THROUGH..
3. Obama tried to tax Millionaires
4. Employment has picked up, when Bush left things were getting much worse
5. Obama got Bin Laden
6. Reform of Health Insurance Helps People. More people insured..especially pre-existing conditions gone..(that matters to most)
7. Republican attempt to change Social Security and Medicare backfires...THAT GETS THOUGH TOO.
8. Republican attempt to define Obama as "big spender" fails.
9. Average worker finally realizes that All Republicans are against his interest
10. Republican freek show of primaries, debates, and candidates turns off huge majority of voters. Obama seems stable and
competent in comparison..

Bottom Line
___________________________________________________________________________________________


Landslide for Democrats across the nation....

Hey. Lots of gloom and doom, for a moment, maybe, let's think otherwise...won't hurt???
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Yes, it is in my journal...look for yourself..One of the very few I got right...
hate to tell you how many I got wrong....

November 24, 2012

The parrot and the dishwasher repairman..

Mrs.. Broomfield's dishwasher quit working, so she called a repairman.
He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since
she had to
go to work the next day, she told him: "I'll leave the key under the mat.
the dishwasher
leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check.
the way, don't worry about my Rottweiler. He
won't bother you. But
whatever you do,.... do not under any circumstances talk
to my parrot!"
The repairman arrived at Mrs.. Broomfield's
apartment the next day ...
He discovered the biggest and meanest looking
Rottweiler he had ever seen. But, just like she had said, the dog just lay there on
the carpet, watching
the repairman go about his business.
However, the whole time he was there, the parrot
drove him nuts with his
incessant squawking , talking, and making all kinds of noise...
Finally the repairman
couldn't contain
himself any longer and yelled: "Shut up, you stupid
bird!"
To which the parrot replied: "Get him, Brutus!

November 22, 2012

Prominent Republican Senator Abandons Norquist's Pledge..Think Progress

http://thinkprogress.org/economy/2012/11/22/1231321/prominent-republican-senator-abandons-norquists-no-tax-pledge/

First paragraph:
As lawmakers work on a balanced deal of spending cuts and revenue increases to avoid the coming fiscal cliff, another prominent Republican is publicly rejecting Grover Norquist’s no-tax pledge. Sen. Saxby Chambliss (R-GA) told a local television station in Georgia on Wednesday that he will no longer support the Taxpayer Protection Pledge to never vote for any tax increases under any circumstances
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last couple of paragraphs from above link:

"Before the 2012 election, Norquist’s Americans for Tax Reform boasted that 279 Congressional incumbents — and another 286 challengers — signed its pledge.
But as Democrats fought back against anti-tax zealotry, many voters reacted positively, rejecting the pledge and its adherents, and telling pollsters that they supported higher taxes on the richest Americans.

As a result, 16 incumbent Republicans and one incumbent Senator who signed Norquist’s pledge lost on election night. In total, at least 56 Republican House incumbents or candidates who signed the pledge and 24 Republican Senators or hopefuls lost."

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Someone is reading the election results...Read these last couple of paragraphs from the above link:...see how many signed the pledge and lost...

November 20, 2012

A classic joke about the "Drugstore Visit"

The Drugstore Visit
>
> A young man entered a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist told
> him that the condoms come in packs of 3, 9, or 12 and asked which
> pack the young man wanted.
>
> "Well, I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot,"
> the young man explained. "We're having dinner with her parents
> tonight and then we're going out and I really think tonight's the
> night I'm getting lucky. And once she's had me, I know she'll want me
> all the time, so I guess I better get the 12-pack." He purchased the
> condoms and left.
>
> Sitting down at dinner with his girlfriend's parents that evening, he
> asked if he could give the blessing. He began the prayer, but
> continued praying for several minutes. Finally his girlfriend leaned
> over and said, "You never told me that you were such a religious
> person."
>
> He whispered back, "And you never told me that your father was a
> pharmacist."