January 16, 2014

Shamelessness for its own sake is not a virtue.

If Miley Cyrus were ashamed of her last tv performance, that would be the beginning of common sense, which she clearly doesn't have.

Women who really are secure with their bodies have nothing to prove. That's what this has turned into: prove that you are cool with your sexuality by doing these grotesque and demeaning things (that, oh by the way, men want to see you do).

I can understand men pushing this view, but I am floored that feminists are conned into pushing it too. Frankly, it isn't very bright.

If feminists are really stuck on promoting this silly ideology, then I can only conclude that feminism has been co-opted by the patriarchy. It's over, turn out the lights.

The "rape culture" problem and the "culture of violence" (toward women) problem don't happen in a vacuum. You don't offer a cause but I will as the OP did: both come from a hatred of women problem, which isn't helped one bit by encouraging women to degrade themselves as much as possible, in some very odd reverse psychology ritual of proving themselves, which never needed doing in the first place. It's a lot of double talk and double think at the bottom of it. That's what it usually takes to get people to act against their own self-interest.

Don't bother trotting out the burkas. Rejecting one extreme does not require accepting the other extreme. It's a very false, simplistic argument. Both extremes are equally unacceptable. Both of them have nothing to do with common sense, or any benefit to women, and everything to do with ideology at women's expense..

January 15, 2014

Where does somebody get the idea that they can

just damage somebody else's life because they feel like it? or bring misery to someone's life just because they can get away with it? What kind of mind thinks like that? It's really prevalent today. I see it all as a continuum of bullying... from extreme horrific incidents like this, all the way down to just psychological petty battering at a place like DU. (I don't want to get off on a tangent, but that is why I am very opposed to some things I see on here, and even by feminists, which disgusts me, because it is all a continuum of the same thing, the same bullying attitude.) There was a story this week about a woman torturing and killing a 4 year old little boy, the son of her boyfriend, so it's spread to the whole population now, even though it's vastly more often men or boys -- I see that changing. I see the same kind of thing, big and small, in all kinds of people all around me all the time.

It's a very ugly sort of entitlement to inflict harm, which is alarming. It's almost as if what it is to be human is corroding away in many people. Many seem to be nearly amoral by now. There is no concern for consequences that has anything to do with what is right, or decent behavior. All that's left is concern for consequences to themselves, whatever they can get away with, they have no qualms about doing.

I agree with everything you posted, including that yes, I too have a big problem with entertainers such as Miley Cyrus, and all the people who make people like her popular. There is no point in railing against what happens to women and then feeding it at the same time... which is what I see some people doing by refusing to come down on that garbage. That "style" of whatever it is should've had its moment, and ended, years ago. I can't believe how long it has gone on, and on. basically since the late 80's now. I'm sick and tired of it, and am amazed that something else hasn't come along to take its place. But maybe that's by design and someone's intention, don't know.

I'm so sorry, roguevalley. For you, and these victims you know. Please tell them that we are thinking of them, and hope for their recovery and comforting.

I don't mean this in a light way, but as a dedication and tribute to the young woman who was hurt, and to you RV, and to all of us who care...

For anybody out there who is in a situation that makes them afraid, I just want to say... it's better by far to live alone than to live with abuse. Up until the day before this happened, this woman had a chance to get out. Clearly she was already too afraid to go, she had been battered down that far. No, they don't love you, they are liars. They think it's cool to get away with doing people harm. No, it won't get better, ever, it will get worse, it always does. No, your abuser isn't different, not a bit different. Don't tolerate it, you deserve to be treated well. Everybody does.

I've been there too and got out, so can you. The first step is believing you can. And the first step to that is gathering information, to show you how you can. Once you can see how it can be done, then you find the will. You can do it, others have, so can you.

Don't worry about the abuser's feelings either, they don't have any that are similar to yours. The only loss they feel is losing the game they like to play. Just go. And don't look back. A couple of thoughts that helped, to pass along...

January 13, 2014

"If the muzzle fits." is that your cutesy way of calling polly7 a dog?

Jury results are in. Oh yes, I alerted. And I will every time I see this kind of thing. I'm disgusted that anybody can call themselves a feminist and address any woman on DU like this. At least it was close this time, 3-3, thanks jurors. "Feminists" doing this, just wow! What a nerve some people have. And they wonder why they have no credibility. Gee, I can't imagine why.


On Mon Jan 13, 2014, 10:50 PM you sent an alert on the following post:

You know what they say...
http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1002&pid=4325366

REASON FOR ALERT

This post is disruptive, hurtful, rude, insensitive, over-the-top, or otherwise inappropriate.

YOUR COMMENTS

A backhanded way of calling polly7 a dog.

JURY RESULTS

A randomly-selected Jury of DU members completed their review of this alert at Mon Jan 13, 2014, 11:02 PM, and voted 3-3 to LEAVE IT ALONE.

Juror #1 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: Polly7 used the 'dog' metaphor first in this thread; PassingFair was replying to that. I think the whole thread is quite bizarre, but I don't this one post can be singled out.
Juror #2 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: In the context of this thread, I'd say leave it. There are lots of insults and innuendos. If you don't want to continue to engage in the endless argument, then stay out of the thread. Not enough for me to hide it.
Juror #3 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: I agree with the alert.
Juror #4 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: This post IS rude, hurtful...
Juror #5 voted to LEAVE IT ALONE
Explanation: No explanation given
Juror #6 voted to HIDE IT
Explanation: Not even funny, even if they are friends. Also, too fucking close to the word "Bitch". Hide.

Thank you.

January 11, 2014

The problem with flipping discrimination around into white privilege

(or any other sort of privilege, the point is the same), is that it goes from an actual action (discrimination) to a passive state of being (privilege), which in fact is condemning or blaming people for acts they didn't do but other people of their race did... which is racism again... definition:" n. Discrimination or prejudice based on race. "

That unchangeable fact of being white becomes the focus of the issue instead of actually changing acts of discrimination where it is found to exist. Hence, actual change for the better is sidelined. Instead, people focus on purifying other peoples' attitudes which is a pointless waste of time, and can be dangerous (the example of the religious right for instance).

The bottom line of it is that instead of judging people as individuals, with concepts of privilege we are back to judging people as a race (or gender etc.), which is a step backwards. And that stepping backwards is why many resist it.

The OP asked a question, seemingly to point out that there is no answer, and I answered it, mostly to make the point that there is an answer. It goes to the old saying, if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

I am white, but I am also a woman, so I can understand both sides of the issue of privilege. And I can sum up my viewpoint the most succinctly by saying this: anybody who wants to replace the supposed privilege of one group by setting up a similarly abusive privilege by another group can fuck right off. I am not the tiniest bit interested in that. I am interested in equality as humans and equal treatment under the law for all. Regardless. (Sort of along the lines of this general idea...)

As to societal attitudes, I'm not into telling anybody what they ought to think. I believe that attitudes tend to correct themselves over time when there is equal treatment under the law, as much as they are going to be corrected in a given person that is.

But whatever people here want to do about their political causes is up to them. As of course mine are up to me, and the same for all of us. We prioritize what we feel is the best way to go.

January 10, 2014

Good post!

The paradigm of the power structure has shifted since the '70s, but some people who are into "-isms" and "-ists" haven't noticed yet. They'll catch on eventually, some number of years behind the curve, after everyone else has already arrived at a larger and more current consensus.

People who fancy themselves spokespersons for "-isms" and "-ists" develop their hobby horses for the purpose of getting something out of riding them. They don't want to give that up, even if it becomes obsolete, the personal payoff is more important than the issue itself.

This, below, is what political power is...

The age of that song is testament to the fact that we were on the right track that many years ago, but we slipped off of it and have been wrangling each other in the ditch on the sidelines ever since. When people give up their divisions, and unite in addressing what the hub of the problem actually IS, then some progress will be made. Not until then though, any progress at all is the price that our petty attitudes and willful blindness costs us.


(Case in point example: look at any video or photos of the August 28, 1963 march on Washington, and see how many signs and placards there are about "white privilege" or white anything, and see whether blacks and whites are largely interspersed or rigidly separated in the crowd. There is something we should be noticing about that, something we used to know that we have forgotten.)



http://jwa.org/media/photograph-of-march-on-washington-featuring-we-march-for-signs-and-civil-rights-movement-leade

January 10, 2014

Oh, no.

I liked MFM too, and will miss seeing him here. For you, (((MFM))).




"In the Embers" by Sleeping At Last

We live and we die like fireworks
Our legacies hide in the embers
May our stories catch fire and burn
Bright enough to catch God's eye
We live and we die like fireworks

We pull apart the dark
Compete against the stars with all of our hearts
'Til our temporary brilliance turns to ash
We pull apart the darkness while we can

May we live and die a valorous life
May we write it all down in cursive light
So we pray we were made in the image of a figure-eight
May we live and die like fireworks

We pull apart the dark
Compete against the stars with all of our hearts
'Til our temporary brilliance turns to ash
We pull apart the darkness while we can

Like fireworks we pull apart the dark
Compete against the stars with all of our hearts
'Til our temporary brilliance turns to ash
We pull apart the darkness while we can