Biden Chokes Up While Describing Hardworking Americans Who Can Only Afford Shitty Ditch Weed



PHILADELPHIA—In an emotional address Wednesday night at the Democratic National Convention, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly choked up while describing the thousands of hardworking Americans throughout the nation who are only able to afford shitty ditch weed. “I’ve met good, proud Americans all across our great land who bust their ass day in, day out for the man, and it breaks my goddamn heart knowing that they barely have enough money for this brown, dried-out garbage that’s all fucking seeds and stems,” said Biden, pausing to regain his composure and wipe tears away from his eyes as he recalled the poignant story of an Akron, OH resident who worked tirelessly at two jobs but still lacked the financial means to pack a bowl with killer green bud. “For Christ’s sake, it kills me to see decent folks—folks who are our neighbors, friends, and parents—trying to make a living and doing their very best, and yet they’re still too broke to buy the sticky ganja that gets you totally baked. These are real Americans forced to settle for torching up super-harsh dirt weed that gives you a big headache and just crashes your ass out.” At press time, Biden had reportedly started sobbing in the middle of an anecdote about a “hot little spark plug” in Phoenix who had to scrape resin from her pipe every morning just so that she could wake and bake before work.

There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest.

~ Elie Wiesel

Take the Ice Age Trail, for example. Named because it once laid under a huge glacier more than 15,000 years ago. Despite its misleading name, it’s not a path that carves over the glacial terrain of Alaska. Its nearly 1,200 miles fall entirely within the state of Wisconsin, tracing a route from Potawatomi State Park to Interstate State Park. You traverse through some of the state’s most pristine wilderness—think azure lakes, fertile river valleys, gently rolling hills, and dramatic ridgelines. Designated as a National Scenic Trail in 1980, the route consistently ranks as one of the country’s best thru-hikes by smart publications and in-the-know backpackers because the trail showcases how much of North America was shaped from the Ice Age to modern day.

As with any trail that boasts a distance of more than 1,000 miles, there are loads of trailheads, which makes it easy to slice out a few day and weekend-long trips. But it also makes it hard to decide which parts of the trail to explore.

Thankfully, the Ice Age Trail Alliance makes it easy with an interactive trail map that breaks out this massive trail by interest (camping and backpacking, section- and thru-hiking). It also posts trail condition info, offers advice on how to manage leave-no-trace outings, and surfaces a cache of recommended hikes broken into day and multi-day excursions. Better still, each recommendation comes with a free download on the applicable section from their Ice Age Trail Guide.

And for those who aren’t up to roughing it for multiple days on the trail, the alliance also has a list of B&Bs and hotels that are close to the trail, run by owners who are considered “hiker-friendly. Finally, a place where muddy boots are met with open arms.

Wed July 23, 2008
Preston on Politics: PUMAs stalking Obama

Why are they angry? It all depends on whom you ask. Some of the PUMAs accuse Democratic leaders of rigging the primaries to favor Sen. Barack Obama, while others feel that he is not qualified to be the party nominee, let alone competent enough to lead the country.

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Even though Sen. Hillary Clinton conceded the Democratic presidential nomination to Obama in early June and urged all of her supporters to vote for him, not all of her backers heeded the call. Hence, the beginning of the PUMA movement.

"What we are really organizing about is to reinitiate Hillary back into the presidential race," Mann said during a recent interview at a Washington bar, where she met with fellow PUMAs for kinship and to strategize about how to make Clinton the Democratic nominee.

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If PUMAs are unsuccessful in preventing Obama from getting the nomination, what will they do? Bower and Mann said they would cross party lines and vote for McCain; Navot noted she might write in Clinton's name or not vote at all. Tarpley said he would turn his gaze towards Green Party nominee Cynthia McKinney, Libertarian Party nominee Bob Barr or independent candidate Ralph Nader.

Why Clinton voters say they won’t support Obama
The attack of the PUMAs, or a dozen reasons why Clinton voters are still too angry to come home.

But why do you keep hearing all these stories about grumpy old ladies still hung up on Hillary Clinton, the ones who’re threatening to make a scene at the Democratic convention in Denver, or vote for John McCain in November?

To be fair, it’s not just women. There are plenty of Clinton supporters of every demographic description who are still ticked. But yes, it’s true that the Clinton base skewed female, and that women over 30 are the most vocal of the malcontents. Some of them are calling themselves “PUMAs” (as in “Party Unity My Ass”), an acronym that makes them sound, appropriately enough, like cougars in a very bad mood. Who are these women, and why are they such buzzkills?

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1. They are angry because their candidate lost a close contest. This is just simple human math, and it happens after every primary showdown. Remember that it took some Deaniacs months to come around to John Kerry in 2004. It’s just that most years, the contests haven’t also been identity-politics duels between two underrepresented social groups vying for a chance at a political position that has always been denied them.

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As many people have already observed: What are they going to do, vote for John McCain?

“Myself and other Democrats who were Clinton supporters, we have been saying this was serious. It truly violates what the DNC’s proper role should be,” said Edward G. Rendell, a former DNC chairman and former Pennsylvania governor.

“The DNC did something incredibly inappropriate here” and needed to acknowledge that, Rendell said.