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Wolf Frankula

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Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 3,025

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Things You Used to Think Were Funny but Don't Now

Here are three of my examples

1: Some of the old National Lampoon. I have .pdfs from a now dead site that had the 'Poon back in the '70's when it was funny. Some of it, the comics, Bruce McCall's parodies and more are still funny. But did I ever think Mrs. Agnew's Diary, Mr. Chatterbox, My Meter is Running, and more were funny? Apparently I did, but not now.

2: P.J. O'Rourke's "Parliament of Whores". when I bought it, back in the '80's I thought it was a hoot. Now I think it's just spoiled brat smartassery.

3: Sol Weinstein's "Loxfinger" a James Bond parody about Secret Agent Israel Bond, Agent Oy-Oy Seven. I roared 40 years ago when I read it. Now I think it's just a succession of bad Jew Jokes. He was capable of better, Jonathan Segal Chicken, Everything You Never Wanted to Know about Sex but I'll Tell You Anyway.

Does anybody else have anything like that?

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Mon May 8, 2017, 02:31 PM (6 replies)

Today is World Penguin Day

Are You Prepared ?

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue Apr 25, 2017, 08:39 PM (2 replies)

Looking for Firefox ad blocker that doesn't want be constantly be updated with the same update

I have tried, AdBlocker, AdBlocker Plus, and uBlock. Each constantly wants to receive the same update. Is there one that doesn't?

Thank you all.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Mar 16, 2017, 06:28 PM (4 replies)

Questions for People Who Don't Have Cats

1: What does a live mouse look like? All I ever see are parts of dead ones.

2: What do cold feet feel like in bed. I have no idea.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Mar 3, 2017, 05:33 PM (29 replies)

Thank You Very Much for the Heart!

Whoever you were.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Feb 11, 2017, 03:17 PM (0 replies)

Has Everybody Done their Super Sunday things?

You know, put up your Super Sunday decorations, got your Super Sunday goalposts, bought and wrapped your Super Sunday presents, sent out your Super Sunday cards, taken the kids to see Howard Cosell?

I have.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sun Feb 5, 2017, 12:33 PM (3 replies)

Rewriting sad song songs to give them a happy ending.

Here's 'Leader of the Pack' with a happy ending. Well for everybody but her father.

Leader of the Pack, Happy ending version.

Mm--"Is she really going out with him?
"Well, there she is, Let's ask her"
"Betty, is that Jimmy's ring you're wearing?"
"Gee, it must be great riding with him"
"Is he picking you up after school today?"
"By the way, where did you meet him?"

"I met him at the candy store
He turned around and smiled at me
You get the picture
"Yes, we see"
That's when I fell for the leader of the pack

My folks were always putting him down
They said he came from the wrong side of town
They told me he was bad but I knew he was sad
That's why I fell for the leader of the pack

One day my dad said find someone new
I tried to tell my Jimmy we're through
He just smiled as he bought some gas, and then he kicked my father's ass
You don't dick around with the leader of the pack

Do do
He said we're together and that's all
He bounced my dad like a basketball
He told my mom if she called the cops,
He'd put them both in a box,
Yes Yes Yes Yes! Somebody's finally standing up to my parents.

Now we're together every day
We make love in every way
I can't stand to be without his face,
And so I'm moving to his place
I'm so glad I met him, the leader of the pack

Ooh, the leader of the pack he's my love
the leader of the pack he's my love
the leader of the pack he's my love.
Written by Jeff Barry, Ellie Greenwich, George Morton revised by Wolf Frankula.
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Feb 1, 2017, 05:55 PM (8 replies)

Don't Forget Good King Stephen

"Good King Stephen looked outside,
On the Feast of Wenzel.
Slapped his pocket and exclaimed,
'I have lost my pencil!'

While a lackey standing near
A window drew a stencil.
And a rooster crowed quite loud,
Sitting on a fencil hmmm.

Then King Stephen went outdoors,
Into the night so cru-el.
And he saw a poor man there,
Gath'ring winter fu-el.

He said 'That I'm still up north,
I feel like a foo-el.
If I were in Cape Town now,
I'd be by the poo-el hmmm."

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Mon Dec 26, 2016, 09:04 PM (0 replies)

The Partisan

By Leonard Cohen.

My favorite versions are by Joan Baez

And by Leslie Fish with somebody named Garcia Aritzmendi. I heard that at an SCA event, they sang the English parts together, the bit that is usually in French or Greek, was sung by Aritzmendi in Euskara.

A song called IIRC 'N Kommando Gesang by somebody I forget. It's about a small farmer fighting with the Boer Commandos against the British.

I remember these bits.

"The cold queen of England wants gold and bright diamonds,
She's sending her redcoats to plunder and kill.
She'll find that dear bought are the gems of the Transvaal,
Where Boer commandos haunt every hill."

"My wife and three children were caught by the English.
Behind the barbed wire they sickened and died.
But soon we sweep down like a fire from the highveld,
And burn the death camps with the English inside."

"I sleep with a Mauser and rise before cockcrow,
And go on commando my neighbors and me.
We'll live as we can and we'll fight as we're able,
Till England's defeated and the Transvaal is free."

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Dec 17, 2016, 12:47 AM (0 replies)

Christmas Items I Will NOT be Watching This Year

1: Any version of 'A Christmas Carol' that doesn't have Doctor Who.

2: Any version of 'It's a Wonderful Life' without Al Bundy.

3: Any Bing Crosby movie without Bob Hope. Sorry Bing, without Bob there's no hope.

4: Anything with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, including 'Rudolph's Big Career Move.'

5: Anything with Frosty the Snowman, including "Frosty's Frozen Hell.'

6: Any Nativity story that isn't about the guy born in the manger down the street from the one people sing about each year.

7: Any movie where anybody says, "It isn't Christmas without snow."

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue Nov 29, 2016, 07:25 PM (4 replies)
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