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Wolf Frankula

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Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 3,041

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Christmas Items I Will NOT be Watching This Year

1: Any version of 'A Christmas Carol' that doesn't have Doctor Who.

2: Any version of 'It's a Wonderful Life' without Al Bundy.

3: Any Bing Crosby movie without Bob Hope. Sorry Bing, without Bob there's no hope.

4: Anything with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, including 'Rudolph's Big Career Move.'

5: Anything with Frosty the Snowman, including "Frosty's Frozen Hell.'

6: Any Nativity story that isn't about the guy born in the manger down the street from the one people sing about each year.

7: Any movie where anybody says, "It isn't Christmas without snow."

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue Nov 29, 2016, 07:25 PM (4 replies)

Any Other Filk Fans Here?

I am a filk fan. I enjoy singing filk music (though I must say I don't sing very well, until after a few pints.) I like gathering in filk circles and listening to others. Some champion filkers are Tom Smith, Julia Ecklar, Frank Hayes and Leslie Fish. I have even written a few filk songs, though they are NOT famous.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Oct 8, 2016, 03:03 AM (0 replies)

Are these quotes genuine?

I've been using some for years, but now I suspect they are not. Some are political, some not.

George H. W. Bush on Pat Robertson. "Yes Jesus told him to run for President, but Jesus forgot to tell anybody to vote for him."

Ronald Reagan on making movies. "Never make a movie with an animal. If it's a hit, the animal gets the credit. If it's a flop, you get the blame."

Richard Nixon on Ronald Reagan running for Governor. "The only reason they're running Reagan is they couldn't get the monkey."

Ben Stein on Richard Nixon. "He's guilty as hell."

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Aug 20, 2016, 02:53 PM (0 replies)

Three Nevers

1: Never eat in any restaurant where the words 'ALL LOTTERY GAMES' are in bigger print than the type of food served.

2: Never buy anything advertised on the radio where the fast talk goes on longer than the slow talk.

3: Never trust anybody who repeatedly breaks his/her promises to a kid. They'll cheat you if they can.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jun 25, 2016, 10:15 PM (7 replies)

Does anybody else remember these classic commercial lines?

"If you think it's butter, but it's snot, it's Chiffon."

"Hot Kids, Armour Hot Kids, The Kids Dogs Love to Bite."

"Half the fun of being goosed is Red Feet Shoes."

"P-i-m-p-l-e-s, Nestle makes the very best, Acne."

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue May 10, 2016, 03:02 AM (25 replies)

Naughty Little Suckathumb

The long red legged scissor man
Ah, said Mom, I'd knew he'd come,
To Naughty Little Suckathumb..

The Long Red Legged Scissor Man ran into Suckathumb's bedroom. There he saw Naughty Little Suckathumb lying on his bed with Rags the Dog.

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip Snip went the scissors.

The Long Red Legged Scissor Man waved the scissors. Naughty Little Suckathumb reached beside his bed and replied.
"This is an AK-47 select fire riffle firing a 7.62x39 full metal jacketed round from a 30 round magazine. I have locked and loaded."

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.
'Brrrrp' went the AK-47 blowing the Long Red Legged Scissor Man Base over apex. Then Suckathumb leaped up from the bed, took his K-bar and cut off the Long Red Legged Scissor Man's left ear, to verify the kill. Then he and Rags the Dog dragged the carcass to the sitting room. Naughty Little Suckathumb said.

"Here's the last shithead who criticized my habits. Does anybody else have an objection?"

He scratched Rags the Dog, sucked his thumb and went back to his bedroom.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Apr 30, 2016, 08:17 PM (1 replies)

Greatest FU Songs of All Time

What are the greatest Fuck You songs of all time. Here is No. 1. "This Song" by George Harrison


No. 2 Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan



What are yours?

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Mar 26, 2016, 10:01 PM (64 replies)

I"ve Had a Cough for a Week

I hate it. It makes me sound like Bill the Cat. Ack! OOP!



Maybe I'll run for President.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Oct 24, 2015, 09:22 PM (4 replies)

Questions about Bernie

I like most of what I have heard about Sanders. I agree with a lot of his positions. But I have three questions about the man. 1: Is he tough enough to win. Does he understand that politics is war without the shooting? 2: Does he understand that government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. 3: If elected as a Democrat, will he govern as a Democrat. Or will he attempt to 'reach across the aisle,' 'form a bipartisan consensus' or other such caving in?

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Sep 9, 2015, 04:15 AM (13 replies)

If This Is True, Foodie Trendiness Can Go No Further

I have heard that a trendy restaurant in London sells Deconstructed Water. For the equivalent of five dollars, the restaurant serves you an empty glass, with an affidavit that the glass contains hydrogen and oxygen.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jul 4, 2015, 06:17 PM (7 replies)
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